Chris: I don't feel like it tonight.
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Grandmother: Your mother has come home after seventeen years to repent for her sins and for her crime. Not only against your grandfather and me, but against God! Your mother's marriage was unholy! A sacrilege! An abomination in the eyes of the Lord! She did not fall from Grace! She leapt! Into the arms of a man whose veins pulsed with the same blood as hers! Not a stranger, but her own uncle! And you, the children, are the devil's spawn! Evil from the moment of conception!Comment
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Roxie: Issues like this can't be resolved in a month...or without the budget for a full-length feature film.Comment
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Roxie: Shelly's inner child is mildly reminiscent of Rosemary's Baby.Comment
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Roxie: And Jimmy Two-Times, who got that name because he said everything twice.Comment
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Jimmy Two-Times: Hey, ladies! Buy ya a drink? Buy ya a drink?Comment
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Earl Pilcher, Sr.: I've never seen a damn Yankee yet that could operate more than a wheelbarrow.Comment
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Aunt T: Don't know why anybody'd eat unsalted butter. Might as well eat Vaseline. Got about as much flavor.Comment
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Aunt T: Nobody ever knows what it's like for somebody else. That's always the problem.Comment
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Earl Pilcher, Jr.: Being happy ain't nothin' more than havin' something to look forward to.Comment
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Earl Pilcher, Jr.: I used to play a little ball. I was small, but I made up for it by being slow.Comment
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Raymond "Ray" Lee Murdock: I guess everyone is entitled to make a complete and utter fool of himself every now and then.Comment
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Max: Who's ever after you are real pros.Comment
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Kate: I guess I should be proud, it would be embarrassing to be killed by an amateur.Comment
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Adam: [nervous] Are you looking for hardware... or is it software you're interested in?Comment
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Kate: [sexy] Hardware. I was hoping to demo your unit.Comment
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Adam: I'd have to... boot up first.Comment
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Kate: No one tried to kill me! This is Miami. I'm local. We only shoot the tourists.Comment
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Lieutenant Meyerson: Max, you obviously got me confused with someone who gives a rat's ass.Comment
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Kate McQuean: You know that they call a Florida cop in a three-piece suit?Comment
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Max Kilpatric: No. What?Comment
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Kate McQuean: The defendant!Comment
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Max Kilpatric: Is it a felony to shoot a computer?Comment
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Louis: Only in California.Comment
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[Rosa is bringing in a Caffe Romano pizza]Comment
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Cop at door: Hey, babe! If you were Dominos, I'd get a discount.Comment
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Rosa: If I were Dominos, you'd still be alive.Comment
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[Shoots him]Comment
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[Max is on the phone with a convenience store clerk and Ilya Kazak]Comment
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Max Kirkpatrick: Why don't you drop that bullshit American accent.Comment
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Ilya Kazak: [sounding American] I don't know what you mean.Comment
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Max Kirkpatrick: Dosvedanya, Asshole!Comment
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Convenience Store Clerk: Dosve... WHAT!Comment
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Ilya Kazak: [normal voice] Dosvedanya, Asshole?Comment
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Convenience Store Clerk: Yo, fuck YOU!Comment
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[hangs up]Comment
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Ilya Kazak: Clever BASTARD!Comment
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[Max has called his cousin Jodi and got the answering machine]Comment
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Ilya Kazak: [on the machine] Hello. You have reached the number of Detective Kirkpatrick's nosey relative. Cousin Jodi cannot answer the phone right now, but if you wish to leave a message, please contact your nearest psychic.Comment
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[scream from Jodi, gunshot]Comment
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Ilya Kazak: Dosvedanya to you, ASSHOLE!Comment
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Hacker: I can't believe it. They used their cellphone. It's like painting a huge bullseye on your ass!Comment
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[Rosa and Max are fighting on the beach. Rosa just kicked him in the groin]Comment
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Rosa: Ahh. Did I hurt you? Poor baby. Let Mommy kick it for you and make it BETTER!Comment
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[kicks him again]Comment
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[after dumping a ton of mail on Max's desk]Comment
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Rita: THIS is your mail because it has your name on it! My mail is sometimes addressed to OCCUPANT. Because, Max, I AM the fucking occupant of my place! Whereas YOU are no longer an occupant. Is this sinking in? GET YOUR SHIT OUT OF MY APARTMENT!Comment
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Max Kirkpatrick: Please, Rita. Just cut me a little slack on space, OK.Comment
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Rita: No, no, no! You have run out of slacks, Max! No more slacks for you!Comment
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Ilya Kazak: [after Juantorena failed to kill Kate with the home explosion] I'm getting most annoyed by your petty incompetence.Comment
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