She couldn't handle it in her ass!

**mrthumbs** · 02-11-2006, 08:47 PM

she wasnt horny enough

**OneHungLo** · 02-11-2006, 08:48 PM

Originally posted by mrthumbs

she wasnt horny enough

yup, you gotta work that shit!

**kmanrox** · 02-11-2006, 08:53 PM

you stopped in the middle of this to post and ask the Tard Posse to help you figure out what to do in bed tonight?

you're either bullshitting about getting laid, or you've got co-dependancy problems or something...

**VegasGirl1** · 02-11-2006, 08:53 PM

Ass Tip

Originally posted by iwantchixx

So we're going at it good, but she couldnt handle it, hurts too much so I stopped before I damaged her permanantly.

Now she feels bad cause I couldn't get off.

Should I just get head or call it a night?

Maybe you should have offered her a reach around, -- somehow it makes the whole thing better!

**iwantchixx** · 02-11-2006, 08:55 PM

Originally posted by kmanrox

you stopped in the middle of this to post and ask the Tard Posse to help you figure out what to do in bed tonight?

you're either bullshitting about getting laid, or you've got co-dependancy problems or something...

Naw, You don;t understand. I'm too big for her ass hole.

I already made her cum like a racehorse so my job is done

**media** · 02-11-2006, 08:55 PM

wishful thinking?

**EdgeXXX** · 02-11-2006, 08:56 PM

Originally posted by kmanrox

you stopped in the middle of this to post and ask the Tard Posse to help you figure out what to do in bed tonight?

you're either bullshitting about getting laid, or you've got co-dependancy problems or something...

what he said ^

This is one of those situations where "if you gotta ask....."

**iwantchixx** · 02-11-2006, 08:56 PM

now ishing about it

**mrthumbs** · 02-11-2006, 08:57 PM

Originally posted by iwantchixx

Naw, You don;t understand. I'm too big for her ass hole.

I already made her cum like a racehorse so my job is done

Thats called faking.. just to stop that clums from poking her ass

**iwantchixx** · 02-11-2006, 08:58 PM

naw, no faking. she cums hard man. Juices flying everywhere. Cripes, she tore chunks out of my skin

**kmanrox** · 02-11-2006, 08:58 PM

Originally posted by iwantchixx

Naw, You don;t understand. I'm too big for her ass hole.

I already made her cum like a racehorse so my job is done

i hate to break it to you, but it was probably more her asshole is too untrained and tight for any sized penis... assholes have to be worked to get to open up so a cock can get in.... i used one of those anal-bead-type of dildoes on my exwife where the knot starts out VERY small, then goes up a notch, until the knot is about the girth of a schlong.... work it knot by knot.... slap her ass make it relax.. tell her to breath, tell her to relax, use lots of astroglyde..eventually you'll get to the last and biggest knot, work it some, then slowly pull it out, lube up Oscar and slowly take him into the Hershey Highway...

you're welcome.

**mrthumbs** · 02-11-2006, 08:59 PM

Originally posted by iwantchixx

naw, no faking. she cums hard man. Juices flying everywhere. Cripes, she tore chunks out of my skin

So who is she? Your gf?

**media** · 02-11-2006, 09:02 PM

Originally posted by kmanrox

i hate to break it to you, but it was probably more her asshole is too untrained and tight for any sized penis... assholes have to be worked to get to open up so a cock can get in.... i used one of those anal-bead-type of dildoes on my exwife where the knot starts out VERY small, then goes up a notch, until the knot is about the girth of a schlong.... work it knot by knot.... slap her ass make it relax.. tell her to breath, tell her to relax, use lots of astroglyde..eventually you'll get to the last and biggest knot, work it some, then slowly pull it out, lube up Oscar and slowly take him into the Hershey Highway...

you're welcome.

The tried and true method.... if the girl can relax, this works every time..

**iwantchixx** · 02-11-2006, 09:02 PM

Originally posted by kmanrox

i hate to break it to you, but it was probably more her asshole is too untrained and tight for any sized penis... assholes have to be worked to get to open up so a cock can get in.... i used one of those anal-bead-type of dildoes on my exwife where the knot starts out VERY small, then goes up a notch, until the knot is about the girth of a schlong.... work it knot by knot.... slap her ass make it relax.. tell her to breath, tell her to relax, use lots of astroglyde..eventually you'll get to the last and biggest knot, work it some, then slowly pull it out, lube up Oscar and slowly take him into the Hershey Highway...

you're welcome.

no man, you don'tunderstand, she's an anal freak. She's confessed to riding 1.5 litre pop bottles up her ass and sticking 3 carrots in there recently. Her ass gapes man.

**iwantchixx** · 02-11-2006, 09:02 PM

Originally posted by mrthumbs

So who is she? Your gf?

Yeah man.

**kmanrox** · 02-11-2006, 09:04 PM

Originally posted by iwantchixx

no man, you don'tunderstand, she's an anal freak. She's confessed to riding 1.5 litre pop bottles up her ass and sticking 3 carrots in there recently. Her ass gapes man.

you don't have to lie for us to be your friend man... cummon now

**kmanrox** · 02-11-2006, 09:05 PM

and for the record, i can fit 4 carrots up my ass, and also a 10" horse dildo fits no problem also... so there goes your calculations right up my ass

**kmanrox** · 02-11-2006, 09:05 PM

did i just say that out loud?

**iwantchixx** · 02-11-2006, 09:06 PM

Originally posted by kmanrox

and for the record, i can fit 4 carrots up my ass, and also a 10" horse dildo fits no problem also... so there goes your calculations right up my ass

You'll lose friends quick telling ppl that!

**mrthumbs** · 02-11-2006, 09:06 PM

Originally posted by kmanrox

did i just say that out loud?

well, you said it yourself for a change..

**iwantchixx** · 02-11-2006, 09:06 PM

Originally posted by kmanrox

you don't have to lie for us to be your friend man... cummon now

My gf (naked on the couch in a blanket on her laptop) and I are sitting here laughing our asses off.

**kmanrox** · 02-11-2006, 09:08 PM

Originally posted by iwantchixx

You'll lose friends quick telling ppl that!

it's ok, all my friends know how uncontrollably and extremely deviant i am

**mrthumbs** · 02-11-2006, 09:09 PM

Originally posted by iwantchixx

(naked on the couch in a blanket on her laptop)

Whats she trying to do with the laptop?

Make sure fluids from that ******* style asshole of her doesnt fuck with the keys

**iwantchixx** · 02-11-2006, 09:09 PM

How's this for extreme, share a double ended dildo with your girl.

**DirtyRider** · 02-11-2006, 09:09 PM

I'm just shocked you stopped and came her for suggestions

**Scroto** · 02-11-2006, 09:10 PM

Originally posted by kmanrox

did i just say that out loud?

lmao

**iwantchixx** · 02-11-2006, 09:10 PM

oh no dude, we're already done.Can't stick a butt fucked dick in her cujo!

So I got her to jerk me off all over her armpits

**iwantchixx** · 02-11-2006, 09:11 PM

Originally posted by mrthumbs

Whats she trying to do with the laptop?

Make sure fluids from that ******* style asshole of her doesnt fuck with the keys

You don't want to know...

She'as addicted to extreme porn.

**iwantchixx** · 02-11-2006, 09:13 PM

someone post the ******* pic.. I cant find it, she wants to know what it is

**kmanrox** · 02-11-2006, 09:13 PM

Originally posted by iwantchixx

How's this for extreme, share a double ended dildo with your girl.

that's extreme? are you serious?

**iwantchixx** · 02-11-2006, 09:14 PM

ah crap I just coughed and farted at the same time. My ass hole went "PAK~!!!".. I think I know what she went through now!

**iwantchixx** · 02-11-2006, 09:14 PM

Originally posted by kmanrox

that's extreme? are you serious?

With hot sauce. yes. yes it is

**iwantchixx** · 02-11-2006, 09:15 PM

k, gotta go for now, she wants me to go buy ice cream and a toilet plunger... no fucking idea why.. so off to the Irving I go.

She couldn't handle it in her ass!

She couldn't handle it in her ass!

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