iF YOUR WOMAN DENIES SEX: TRY THIS

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  • Jeff aka NIGHTfall
    Confirmed User
    • Oct 2003
    • 5162

    #1

    iF YOUR WOMAN DENIES SEX: TRY THIS

    I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
    so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
    I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
    their heart.

    For example, one evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
    bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I
    don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
    I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"

    She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me
    for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

    What every boyfriend/husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.
    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
    with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a
    big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she
    tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide
    which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted
    new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for
    each outfit. We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out
    a pair of diamond earrings.

    Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one
    wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me
    because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how
    to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's
    fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of
    the excitement.

    Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is
    all dear, Let's go to the cashier".

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
    feel like it."

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
    WHAT???!!!"

    I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
    while.. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man
    enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
    And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added,
    "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy
    you?"

    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

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  • Drake
    Hello world!
    • Mar 2003
    • 12508

    #2
    lol

    Comment

    • xato
      Confirmed User
      • Mar 2003
      • 1205

      #3
      lol

      Bad Lamborghini Crash

      Comment

      • SleazyDream
        I'm here for SPORT
        • Jul 2001
        • 41470

        #4
        the sad part is that was probally true
        This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog!

        Now read without the word dog.

        Comment

        • Project-Shadow
          Confirmed User
          • Feb 2003
          • 7340

          #5
          Bwuhahahahahaa

          Comment

          • Natasha
            Confirmed User
            • Nov 2001
            • 300

            #6
            that's hilarious!
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            Comment

            • d00t
              Confirmed User
              • Sep 2002
              • 3766

              #7
              hahaha

              I am going to try that!

              Comment

              • BackToMine
                Confirmed User
                • Nov 2004
                • 541

                #8



                Comment

                • Napolean
                  Misanthropic Egalitarian
                  • Nov 2002
                  • 4330

                  #9
                  HAH! FOUND IT FRIS

                  Comment

                  • Roald
                    SecretFriends.com
                    • May 2001
                    • 27910

                    #10
                    hahaha


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                    Comment

                    • eiht_98
                      Confirmed User
                      • Jan 2001
                      • 6103

                      #11
                      lol...congrats Jeff...at one time I thought you'd buy all that and have great sex....lol....

                      Comment

                      • groark
                        So Fucking Banned
                        • Nov 2003
                        • 1966

                        #12
                        lol

                        Comment

                        • milambur
                          Mainstream since 2010
                          • Jan 2003
                          • 1327

                          #13
                          Originally posted by Jeff aka NIGHTfall
                          For example, one evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
                          bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I
                          don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
                          I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"
                          Next time say:
                          "Good I didn't feel like it either, I just thought you wanted too. Then hold her."
                          Alea iacta est

                          Comment

                          • Drake
                            Hello world!
                            • Mar 2003
                            • 12508

                            #14
                            Originally posted by milambur
                            Next time say:
                            "Good I didn't feel like it either, I just thought you wanted too. Then hold her."

                            Comment

                            • Paul
                              Confirmed User
                              • Nov 2002
                              • 2637

                              #15
                              Post of the week

                              Comment

                              • Illicit
                                wtf ?
                                • Dec 2003
                                • 11895

                                #16
                                Originally posted by Coatsy
                                Post of the week

                                DEFINATELY !!

                                If its true, I Hope you get sex someday lol wont be for a while after that
                                Insert Sig Here

                                Comment

                                • S P A N N O W
                                  Everywhere You Wanna Be!
                                  • Mar 2004
                                  • 11941

                                  #17
                                  Well played brother!

                                  Comment

                                  • SmutGiant
                                    Confirmed User
                                    • Oct 2003
                                    • 4896

                                    #18

















                                    .....


                                    Comment

                                    • maddox
                                      Confirmed User
                                      • Jan 2004
                                      • 648

                                      #19
                                      man this is awesome!

                                      Comment

                                      • Zester
                                        Confirmed User
                                        • Jul 2003
                                        • 5344

                                        #20
                                        this one is for the books
                                        * Mainstream ? $65 per sale
                                        * new male contraception

                                        Comment

                                        • chemicaleyes
                                          UNSTOPPABLE
                                          • Aug 2003
                                          • 11569

                                          #21
                                          hahaha
                                          best story on gfy for ages
                                          No way as way, No limitation as limitation. AmeriNOC formally PhatServers

                                          Comment

                                          • Scott McD
                                            Too lazy to set a custom title
                                            • Nov 2002
                                            • 67792

                                            #22
                                            Mwahaha !!


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                                            Comment

                                            • cheekycherry
                                              Confirmed User
                                              • Feb 2002
                                              • 1703

                                              #23

                                              Comment

                                              • gxer
                                                Confirmed User
                                                • Dec 2002
                                                • 846

                                                #24
                                                lol

                                                Comment

                                                • nosey
                                                  Talk Hard
                                                  • Feb 2003
                                                  • 14413

                                                  #25
                                                  LOL

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                                                  Comment

                                                  • Ross
                                                    Ik ben een aap
                                                    • Sep 2002
                                                    • 18874

                                                    #26
                                                    That'll teach the biatch !!

                                                    Comment

                                                    • blazin
                                                      Confirmed User
                                                      • Aug 2002
                                                      • 2781

                                                      #27
                                                      Very funny, even though I've read the story before
                                                      I don't endorse a god damn thing......

                                                      Comment

                                                      • RobD
                                                        Confirmed User
                                                        • Feb 2003
                                                        • 687

                                                        #28
                                                        second time I read this but very funny still
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                                                        Comment

                                                        • Twe Russ
                                                          Confirmed User
                                                          • Jan 2003
                                                          • 3493

                                                          #29
                                                          It is what it is.

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                                                          • tgpmakers
                                                            Confirmed User
                                                            • Feb 2004
                                                            • 575

                                                            #30
                                                            http://www.tgpmakers.com/

                                                            Comment

                                                            • Gasper

                                                              #31
                                                              i don't get it .....






































                                                              j/k

                                                              Comment

                                                              • Jer
                                                                God is Brazilian
                                                                • Feb 2001
                                                                • 10601

                                                                #32

                                                                Comment

                                                                • ella
                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                  • May 2004
                                                                  • 496

                                                                  #33
                                                                  Originally posted by Jeff aka NIGHTfall
                                                                  Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.


                                                                  Embrace yourself for a "no sex" weekend, you won't get lucky anytime soon imho.

                                                                  Comment

                                                                  • Tala
                                                                    Fucked if I know
                                                                    • Dec 2002
                                                                    • 23368

                                                                    #34
                                                                    NICE


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                                                                    Comment

                                                                    • foxylady
                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                      • Oct 2004
                                                                      • 1829

                                                                      #35
                                                                      cool

                                                                      Comment

                                                                      • MandyBlake
                                                                        The one and only!
                                                                        • Nov 2002
                                                                        • 17761

                                                                        #36
                                                                        That's funny.
                                                                        Side note...I've never understood women who turned down sex. Gotta say...I love it!
                                                                        Mandy's Playhouse
                                                                        Her First Fat Girl
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                                                                        Comment

                                                                        • AnaNicole
                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                          • Sep 2004
                                                                          • 454

                                                                          #37
                                                                          lol




                                                                          that was hilarius!!!!

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                                                                          Comment

                                                                          • pradaboy
                                                                            sell me your banners
                                                                            • Dec 2003
                                                                            • 12931

                                                                            #38
                                                                            excellent story Jeff, you really cracked me up...

                                                                            oh and btw I don't think it will be just tonight... I think you'll suffer for a long time to come, good luck man
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                                                                            Comment

                                                                            • Fred Quimby
                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                              • Jul 2004
                                                                              • 5430

                                                                              #39
                                                                              insert timeline

                                                                              Comment

                                                                              • Manowar
                                                                                jellyfish  
                                                                                • Dec 2003
                                                                                • 71528

                                                                                #40

                                                                                Comment

                                                                                • nofx
                                                                                  Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                  • Nov 2002
                                                                                  • 16826

                                                                                  #41

                                                                                  Often times I wonder why
                                                                                  There's love and hate, theres live or die.
                                                                                  When sickness comes I must decide:
                                                                                  When feelings go, theres suicide.

                                                                                  Comment

                                                                                  • evanmorgan
                                                                                    Confirmed User
                                                                                    • Aug 2004
                                                                                    • 2490

                                                                                    #42
                                                                                    hahahaha lolololol

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                                                                                    • Wiggles
                                                                                      Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                      • May 2004
                                                                                      • 14423

                                                                                      #43
                                                                                      lol that is the fucking best!
                                                                                      no sig

                                                                                      Comment

                                                                                      • xclusive
                                                                                        Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                        • Apr 2004
                                                                                        • 35218

                                                                                        #44
                                                                                        What's this Sex thing you speak of? I have a 1 year 11month old and an 8 month old and been married 2 years I know not what you speak of anymore...

                                                                                        I support MediumPimpin.com / Shemp's Outlawtgp.com /


                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                        • The Bootyologist
                                                                                          So Fucking Banned
                                                                                          • Jun 2004
                                                                                          • 2912

                                                                                          #45
                                                                                          lol you are so dead

                                                                                          i feel sorry for you

                                                                                          you will be hearing about this untile you either break up or one of you dies

                                                                                          Comment

                                                                                          • spamofon
                                                                                            Confirmed User
                                                                                            • Jun 2003
                                                                                            • 2999

                                                                                            #46
                                                                                            men are from mars, women from venus, and gay people are from UrAnus

                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                            • mikeyddddd
                                                                                              Viva la vulva!
                                                                                              • Mar 2003
                                                                                              • 16557

                                                                                              #47
                                                                                              Very funny, dude. But, you're fucked for awhile - no fucking for you.

                                                                                              Comment

                                                                                              • MickeyG
                                                                                                Confirmed User
                                                                                                • May 2004
                                                                                                • 4134

                                                                                                #48
                                                                                                you da man!this is seriously some funny shit

                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                • Ecstasy Glass
                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                  • Mar 2004
                                                                                                  • 315

                                                                                                  #49
                                                                                                  That is definatly a classic.
                                                                                                  SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

                                                                                                  Comment

                                                                                                  • Kristian
                                                                                                    Confirmed User
                                                                                                    • Aug 2003
                                                                                                    • 3733

                                                                                                    #50
                                                                                                    You're my new hero

                                                                                                    Comment

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