She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
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A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.Comment
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If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.Comment
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With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.Comment
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When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.Comment
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The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.Comment
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You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.Comment
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Local Area Network in Australia ... the LAN down under.Comment
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still haven't gotten a reply from you yet....Comment
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He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.Comment
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Every calendar's days are numbered.Comment
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A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.Comment
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A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.Comment
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"Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle." - Bob HopeComment
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He had a photographic memory that was never developed.Comment
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A plateau is a high form of flattery.Comment
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A midget fortuneteller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.Comment
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Once you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.Comment
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Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.Comment
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Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.Comment
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Acupuncture is a jab well done.Comment
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That is a great offer, good luck to everyone participating.Comment
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Don't worry if you don't know what eschatology is; it's not the end of the world.Comment
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Putting prepositions at the end of a sentence is a practice up with which we shall not put.Comment
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Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.Comment
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The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.Comment
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There are two kinds of pedestrians -- the quick and the dead.Comment
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An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.Comment
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If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool who said, "Quit while you're ahead?"Comment
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Get the last word in: Apologise.Comment
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Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.Comment
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Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.Comment
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Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?Comment
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All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.Comment
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Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?Comment
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In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.Comment
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Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realise that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.Comment
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How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?Comment
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My doctor gave me six months to live seven months ago, but as I did not pay the bill he gave me another six months.Comment
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I'm not as think as you confused I am.Comment
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It takes a disaster to make a woman out of a female.Comment
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I have a good memory; it's just very short.Comment
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No matter how busy I am, I'm never too busy to stop and complain about how busy I am.Comment
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Never put off til tomorrow what you can do today, for, if you like it, you can do it again tomorrow.Comment
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Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can't find themComment
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Don't let yourself become the mouse or the cat will eat youComment
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Necessity is the mother of inventionComment
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If you visit me on the web, at least I won't have to make you a coffee!Comment
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My telephone is not your advertising medium. However, I'll gladly accept sales calls for a nominal charge of £1,000 per call. Thank you and have a nice day!Comment
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