"I always keep a stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy."
WC Fields
WC Fields
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"What I like to drink most is wine that belongs to others."
Diogenes.Comment
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"The difference between a drunk and a alcoholic is that a drunk doesn't have to attend all those meetings."
Arthur Lewis.Comment
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"I don't like people who take drugs... Customs men for example."
Mick Miller.Comment
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"I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it."
Rodney Dangerfield.Comment
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"Real ale fans are just like train-spotters, only drunk."
Christopher Howse.Comment
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"Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold."
Jerry ValeComment
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"Prohibition is better than no liquor at all."
Will Rogers.Comment
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"The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a beer bottle, they're on TV."
Homer Simpson.Comment
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"Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs."
Robin Williams.Comment
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"I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry."
Robert Benchley.Comment
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"An alcoholic is anyone you don't like who drinks more than you do."
Dylan Thomas.Comment
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"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."
Hunter S ThompsonComment
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"Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times."
Mark Twain.Comment
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"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer."
Dave BarryComment
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"My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?"
Henry Youngman.Comment
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"Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money."
Robin Williams.Comment
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"I can't die until the government finds a safe place to bury my liver."
Phil HarrisComment
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"Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol."
NF Simpson.Comment
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"I am a drinker with writing problems."
Brendan Behan.Comment
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