"I am always looking for meaningful one night stands."
Dudley Moore
Dudley Moore
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"Sex is the invention of a very clever venereal disease."
David CronenbergComment
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"Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them."
Steve Martin.Comment
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"My ultimate fantasy is to entice a man to my bedroom, put a gun to his head and say, 'Make babies or die'."
Ruby WaxComment
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"I'm a double bagger. Not only does my husband put a bag over my face when we're making love, but he also puts a bag over his head in case mine falls off."
Joan RiversComment
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"The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less."
Brendan Francis.Comment
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"Girls are always running through my mind. They don't dare walk."
Andy GibbComment
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"An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex."
Edgar Wallace.Comment
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"My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself."
Emo Philips.Comment
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"I would read Playboy magazine more often, but my glasses keep steaming over."
George BurnsComment
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"I know nothing about sex because I was always married."
Zsa Zsa GaborComment
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"Sex at the age of eighty-four is a wonderful experience. Especially the one in the winter."
Milton BerleComment
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"I'm not really a homosexual. I just help them out when they're busy."
Frank CarsonComment
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"My ultimate fantasy is to entice a man to my bedroom, put a gun to his head and say, 'Make babies or die'."
Ruby WaxComment
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"It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens."
Woody Allen.Comment
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"The trouble with heart disease is that the first symptom is often hard to deal with - sudden death."
Michael PhelpsComment
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"I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious from the top of her head to the tag on her toes."
Emo Philips.Comment
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"A grave is a place where the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student."
Ambrose BierceComment
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"For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off."
Johnny Carson.Comment
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"If your time hasn't come, not even a doctor can kill you."
MA PerlsteinComment
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"At my age I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if I'm not there I carry on as usual."
Patrick Moore.Comment
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"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work, I want to achieve it through not dying."
Woody Allen.Comment
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"Either he's dead or my watch has stopped."
Groucho Marx.Comment
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"There are three natural anaesthetics: Sleep, fainting, and death."
Oliver Wendell HolmesComment
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"Dying is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing to do with it."
Somerset MaughamComment
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"There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?"
Woody Allen.Comment
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"Death is just nature's way of telling you to slow down."
Dick SharplesComment
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"At my age flowers scare me."
George BurnsComment
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