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**VeriSexy** · 12-04-2004, 03:53 AM

**BastarD** · 12-04-2004, 03:53 AM

What's black and white and red all over?
A nun being devoured by Satanic zombie babies.

**FrankHolland** · 12-04-2004, 03:54 AM

"The holy passion of friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring in nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money."

**BastarD** · 12-04-2004, 03:54 AM

What's red and gray and splashes?
A zombie baby playing in a puddle of brains.

**FrankHolland** · 12-04-2004, 03:54 AM

"Do something everyday that you don't want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain."

**BastarD** · 12-04-2004, 03:54 AM

How do you put a zombie baby to sleep?
Decapitate it, set it on fire, and scatter the ashes.

**VeriSexy** · 12-04-2004, 03:54 AM

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**FrankHolland** · 12-04-2004, 03:54 AM

"Everything has its limit--iron ore cannot be educated into gold. - 1906"

**BastarD** · 12-04-2004, 03:54 AM

What's grosser than nailing a zombie baby to a post?
Watching it pull itself off and then try and eat you.

**FrankHolland** · 12-04-2004, 03:54 AM

"Many people chase after success. Other[s] pursue money. But I think the happiest people on earth Are the one's who have found significance. The real question of life must be What has significance for you?"

**BastarD** · 12-04-2004, 03:55 AM

What's blue, red, and goes "pop"?
A zombie baby exploding out of Cookie Monster's belly.

**FrankHolland** · 12-04-2004, 03:55 AM

"I look at my myself; and see a stone, I look at my friends and see gold, But I look at you, and see a gem."

**VeriSexy** · 12-04-2004, 03:55 AM

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**FrankHolland** · 12-04-2004, 03:55 AM

"Every morning you are handed 24 golden hours. They are one of the few things in this world that you get free of charge. If you had all the money in the world, you couldn't buy an extra hour. What will you do with this priceless treasure? Remember, you must use it, as it is given only once. Once wasted you cannot get it back."

**BastarD** · 12-04-2004, 03:55 AM

What's red, and covered in ribbons?
Zombie baby playing in intestines.

**FrankHolland** · 12-04-2004, 03:55 AM

"If men do not keep on speaking terms with children, they cease to be men, and become merely machines for eating and earning money."

**VeriSexy** · 12-04-2004, 03:55 AM

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**BastarD** · 12-04-2004, 03:55 AM

What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and one of zombie babies?
The bowling balls don't try and bite off your fingers when you unload them.

**FrankHolland** · 12-04-2004, 03:56 AM

"Art is like baby shoes. When you coat them with gold, they can no longer be worn."

**BastarD** · 12-04-2004, 03:56 AM

What's the best gift to give a zombie baby?
A zombie puppy.

**FrankHolland** · 12-04-2004, 03:56 AM

"'Resource-constrained environment' [are] fancy Pentagon words that mean there isn't enough money to go around."

**BastarD** · 12-04-2004, 03:56 AM

What's green, blue, red, and tastes funny?
A zombie baby eating a clown.

**VeriSexy** · 12-04-2004, 03:56 AM

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**BastarD** · 12-04-2004, 03:56 AM

What's white and red and wears rubber gloves?
A doctor being eaten alive by a zombie baby.

**FrankHolland** · 12-04-2004, 03:56 AM

"When its a question of money, everybody is of the same religion."

**FrankHolland** · 12-04-2004, 03:57 AM

"Look to your health; and if you have it, praise God, and value it next to a good conscience; for health is the second blessing that we mortals are capable of; a blessing that money cannot buy."

**BastarD** · 12-04-2004, 03:57 AM

What's red and sits in a high chair?
A zombie baby eating a twitching, human foot.

**VeriSexy** · 12-04-2004, 03:57 AM

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**FrankHolland** · 12-04-2004, 03:57 AM

"There is only one boss: the customer. And he can fire everybody in the company, from the chairman on down, simply by spending his money somewhere else."

**BastarD** · 12-04-2004, 03:57 AM

What did the Mommy Aborigine say to the Daddy Aborigine?
"A zombie baby ate my dingo!"

**FrankHolland** · 12-04-2004, 03:57 AM

"Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is I don't know which half."

**BastarD** · 12-04-2004, 03:57 AM

What's cuter than a zombie baby?
A zombie baby with a bunny head in its mouth.

**FrankHolland** · 12-04-2004, 03:58 AM

"Most idealistic people are skint. I have discovered that people with money have no imagination, and people with imagination have no money."

**BastarD** · 12-04-2004, 03:58 AM

What's small, red, and can't turn around in a corridor?
A zombie baby impaled on a 7-foot iron spear.

**FrankHolland** · 12-04-2004, 03:58 AM

"The AIDS epidemic has rolled back a big rotting log and revealed all the squirming life underneath it, since it involves, all at once, the main themes of our existence: sex, death, power, money, love, hate, disease and panic. No American phenomenon has been so compelling since the Vietnam War."

**BastarD** · 12-04-2004, 03:58 AM

What did the Zombie Mommy say to the Zombie Baby?
"You have your Father's eyes?in your fists behind your back!"

**BastarD** · 12-04-2004, 03:58 AM

What's blue, covered with frost, and sits next to a turkey?
Zombie baby in the freezer.

**FrankHolland** · 12-04-2004, 03:58 AM

"The rule is not to talk about money with people who have much more or much less than you."

**BastarD** · 12-04-2004, 03:59 AM

What's silver and red and waddles into walls?
A hungry zombie baby with forks in its eyes.

**FrankHolland** · 12-04-2004, 03:59 AM

"Young people, nowadays, imagine that money is everything; and when they grow older, they know it."

**BastarD** · 12-04-2004, 03:59 AM

What's bald, has big clacking teeth, and wobbles?
A zombie baby wearing the dentures of an elderly woman whose brains it just ate.

**FrankHolland** · 12-04-2004, 03:59 AM

"You can be young without money but you can't be old without it."

**BastarD** · 12-04-2004, 03:59 AM

What's 18 inches long, red, yellow and makes women scream.
A zombie baby chomping the head off the family parakeet.

**FrankHolland** · 12-04-2004, 03:59 AM

"There is no one quite as angry as someone who has just lost a lot of money."

**BastarD** · 12-04-2004, 03:59 AM

What's funnier than a zombie baby?
A zombie baby dressed as Dan Rather.

**FrankHolland** · 12-04-2004, 04:00 AM

"You have reached the pinnacle of success as soon as you become uninterested in money, compliments, or publicity."

**BastarD** · 12-04-2004, 04:00 AM

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**VeriSexy** · 12-04-2004, 04:00 AM

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**BastarD** · 12-04-2004, 04:00 AM

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**FrankHolland** · 12-04-2004, 04:00 AM

"It is especially important to encourage unorthodox thinking when the situation is critical: At such moments every new word and fresh thought is more precious than gold. Indeed, people must not be deprived of the right to think their own thoughts."

Pussycash $100 per signup campaign start this Sunday, Win $1000 in this thread.

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