"Money is human happiness in the abstract; he, then, who is no longer capable of enjoying human happiness in the concrete devotes himself utterly to money."
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I have just clicked your sig
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"The man who does not work for the love of work but only for money is not likely to make money nor find much fun in life."Comment
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Thermos and Blonde
A blonde goes to work and sees that one of her co-workers has a thermos.
She asks him what it does and the fellow co-worker responds, ''It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold''
The blonde was amazed and when she got home immediately went out and bought one.
The next day she goes to work and is proud that she has this wonderful object.
The same co-worker realizes she has a thermos and says, ''What do you have in it?'' she says, ''Soup, and ice cream!''Comment
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"Our institutions and values are in jeopardy as the mores of the market pervade all social life in this country. Loyalty, honesty, courage, discipline, patriotism, and commitment to family are being crowded out by the goals and rules of economic rationality -- do whatever makes the most money."Comment
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Those Intellectually Deficient Blondes
Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
A: 100. One to make the batter and 99 to crack the shells on the M&Ms.Comment
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"No evil is without its compensation. The less money, the less trouble; the less favor, the less envy. Even in those cases which put us out of wits, it is not the loss itself, but the estimate of the loss that troubles us."Comment
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Three Blondes
There were three blondes living together. Blonde #1 was coming back from grocery shopping, and she dropped her keys. She walked down the stairs to get them, and she said to herself, ''Am I going up the stairs or down the stairs?'' So, she stood there puzzled, the bags of groceries still in her hands.
Blonde #2 was taking a bath, and was draining the tub because it was too cold. With her hair still dry, she said to herself, ''Was I getting in the tub or out of the tub?'' She stood there, just thinking about it.
Blonde #3 was sitting in the living room in front of the coffee table, and she said to herself, ''Knock on wood I'm not as stupid as the other two!'' She knocked the table. ''Was that the front door or the back door?''Comment
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Three Girls Go Camping
One day three women went camping - a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. The blonde suddenly had to go to the bathroom. She went into the woods with her toilet paper and did her business.
While she was gone, the brunette and the redhead decided to play a joke on her. They skinned a rabbit and snuck up on the blonde, put the guts behind her and ran back to the campsite. Three minutes later they heard a scream.
Then they waited another half an hour and the blonde came back, sweating. She said, "I had to poop so hard I pooped my guts out. But thanks to God and these two fingers, I stuffed them back in."Comment
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Three Girls in the Desert
A blonde, brunette and redhead are in a desert. The brunette says, "I brought some water so we don't get dehydrated." The redhead says, "I brought some suntan lotion so we don't get sunburned." Then the blonde says I brought a car door." The other girls said, "Why did you bring that?" Then the blonde says, "So I can roll down the window if it gets hot."Comment
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You have not lived a perfect day, even though you have earned your money, unless you have done something for someone who will never be able to repay you.Comment
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Three Girls Meet the Fairy
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are crossing an enchanted bridge in Magical Fairyland when they run into a fairy. The fairy says that they can be granted a transformation if they jump off the bridge and call out their wish. The brunette immediately jumps off the bridge and yells "Eagle!" She turns into a beautiful bird of prey and flies away. The redhead jumps off the bridge and yells out "Salmon!" She turns into a gorgeous shimmering salmon and swims upstream to spawn. The blonde is at this point so excited that she jumps off the bridge without thinking of her wish. She panics.
"Crap!"Comment
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"If someone cheats you, get your money back. If someone slanders you, call him to account. If someone makes a promise, see that it is kept ? If you have to be a pest, then be one, and be proud of it."Comment
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Topless Sunbather
A woman was staying at a hotel and she decided to go sunbathing on the hotel roof. When she laid down to sun her back, her bikini top fell off. She didn't care so much, though, because nobody ever came up to the roof anyway. Which is why she was surprised when she heard footsteps. It was the maitre'd from the restaurant.
"Ma'am," he said, "we were all wondering if you could put your top back on."
"Why? I'm not disturbing anybody."
"Ma'am. You're on the skylight."Comment
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"There was a time when a fool and his money were soon parted, but now it happens to everybody."Comment
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Two Blonde Jokes and Nubile Cleavage
Want to hear two blonde jokes?
Listen to Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake.Comment
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Two Blondes and a Camel
Every day two blonde women would come out of work together and look for their car. But all the cars in the lot looked the same, so they sat around until all the cars were gone and then they would get in the last car and go home. One blonde said to the other, ''We need to find a faster way to get home.'' So the next day they went to work on a camel. After work they came out and the parking lot was full of camels. So the first blonde went around lifting up the tails of all the camels. The second blonde said, ''What are you doing?'' The first blonde said, ''When we came in today I heard someone yell "'Look at those two assholes on that camel!!'"Comment
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"It is in men as in soils where sometimes there is a vein of gold which the owner knows not of."Comment
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Two Blondes and a Lake
There were two blondes, one was on one side of the lake and one was on the other. One blonde yelled to the other, "How do I get to the other side?" The other blonde yelled back, "You're already on the other side!"Comment
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these pages are fast
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"Let us not be satisfied with just giving money. Money is not enough, money can be got, but they need your hearts to love them. So, spread your love everywhere you go."Comment
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Two Blondes and Two Mice
There were two blondes as roommates and they both bought mice. When they got home the first blonde said, "How are we going to tell them apart?"
The second blonde said, "Why don't we take one and chop off one of its legs?"
But during the night the mouse with four legs said to the mouse with three legs, ''That's not fair -- I want three legs too.'' So the mouse with three legs told him to eat one of his legs. And so he did.
The next morning the blondes were upset about this so they did the same thing as the day before. But again the mouse with three legs ate one of his legs. This went on until both mice had no tails and legs. Then one of the blondes shouted, ''All right, that's it! You take the black one and I'll take the white one!''Comment
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"The ways by which you may get money almost without exception lead downward. - from Live Without Principle"Comment
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Two blondes are shopping at the mall...
Two blondes are shopping at the mall. When they are done they go out to their car, which happens to be an awesome leather interior convertible. When they get to the car, they realize they had locked the keys in the car. So they both kind of stand there and think for a while.
Finally one gets am idea to try to open the car with a hanger. So the first blonde starts fiddling with the lock with the hanger. The other blonde looks up at the sky and suddenly becomes very worried.
"HURRY, HURRY," she urges. "IT'S GOING TO RAIN AND WE LEFT THE TOP DOWN!"Comment
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"A grain of gold will gild a great surface, but not so much as a grain of wisdom. - from Live Without Principle"Comment
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Two Things About a Blonde
Q: What two things in the air can get a blonde pregnant?
A: Her feet!Comment
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"...The electoral franchise has been conferred upon the Negroes in almost all the states in which slavery has been abolished, but if they come forward to vote, their lives are in danger... The same schools do not receive the children of the black and of the European. In the theaters gold cannot procure a seat for the servile race beside their former masters; in the hospitals they lie apart... Not only is slavery prohibited in Ohio, but no free Negroes are allowed to enter the territory of that state or to hold property in it."Comment
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Upside Down Blonde
Why is an upside-down blonde so funny?
Because she is a crack up.Comment
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Guess whatComment
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"Truth, like gold, is to be obtained not by its growth, but by washing away from it all that is not gold."Comment
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end of blondes jokes
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"Three things ruin a man: power, money, and women. I never wanted power. I never had any money, and the only woman in my life is up at the house right now."Comment
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What's silver and red and waddles into walls?
A hungry zombie baby with forks in its eyes.Comment
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"The great political tugs of the past 35 years have concerned the distribution of the golden eggs. In the 1980's and 1990's we must focus on the health of the goose."Comment
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What's bald, has big clacking teeth, and wobbles?
A zombie baby wearing the dentures of an elderly woman whose brains it just ateComment
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"Some men worship rank, some worship heroes, some worship power, some worship God, and over these ideals they dispute, but they all worship money."Comment
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What's 18 inches long, red, yellow and makes women scream.
A zombie baby chomping the head off the family parakeet.Comment
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"Behold, the fool saith, Put not all thine eggs in the one basket, -- which is but a manner of saying, Scatter your money and your attention, but the wise man saith, Put all your eggs in the one basket and -- watch that basket."Comment
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What's funnier than a zombie baby?
A zombie baby dressed as Dan Rather.Comment
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"Behold, the fool saith, 'Put not all thine eggs in the one basket,' -- which is but a manner of saying, 'Scatter your money and your attention,' but the wise man saith, 'Put all your eggs in the one basket and -- watch that basket.'"Comment
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