Replacing Vanna
Q: Why is it so hard to replace Vanna White?
A: They can't find another blonde who knows the whole alphabet.
Q: Why is it so hard to replace Vanna White?
A: They can't find another blonde who knows the whole alphabet.
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"No lower can a man descend than to interpret his dreams into gold and silver."Comment
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65Comment
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"I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is -- I could be just as proud for half the money."Comment
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Where was you frank? You was sleeping ?Comment
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"All theory, dear friend, is gray, but the golden tree of life springs ever green."Comment
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"Know'st thou the land where the lemon-trees bloom, Where the gold orange glows in the deep thicket's gloom, Where a wind ever soft from the blue heaven blows, And the groves are of laurel and myrtle and rose?"Comment
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or at work?Comment
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This contest makes no sense, top two posters should get the money
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Return the Dog
Two blondes suddenly got into bird hunting and were eager to try it out for themselves. They had read that a birddog is a great and useful accessory in bird hunting, so they decided to go to the pet shop and buy one. They asked for a well-trained birddog, and got one. The two blondes immediately went to the woods to try it out. The dog didn't work. No matter how hard they tried, it just didn't follow their commands. They became really frustrated and one of the blondes said to her companion, ?Okay, we'll give him one more try. We'll throw him in the air one more time and if he doesn't fly, we're taking him back to the store!?Comment
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Revenge of the Blondes
Q: Why are there so many blonde jokes one-liners?
A: So brunettes can remember them.
Q: What do brunettes miss most about a great party?
A: the invitation.
Q: What do you call a good-looking man with a brunette?
A: A hostage.
Q: What is black and blue and brown, and lying in a ditch?
A: A brunette who has told too many blonde jokes.Comment
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"The university's characteristic state may be summarized by the words of the lady who said, "I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something."Comment
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"The darkest hour in any man's life is when he sits down to plan how to get money without earning it."Comment
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I have big fuckin headage todayComment
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"Everything can be learned, including, to a very large extent, to be what you are not. You can learn to be pretty if you are plain, charming if you are dull, thin if you are fat, youthful if you are aging, how to write though you are inarticulate, how to make money though you are not good with figures."Comment
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after yesterday's beersComment
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"Creativity comes from zeal to do something, generally it is to make some money."Comment
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Rocks and Blondes
What do rocks and dumb blondes have in common?
You skip 'em when they're flat.Comment
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"Inflation continues till common man is completely sucked out of money, then recession sets in and continues till he becomes suckable again."Comment
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San Fran Blondes
Why don't blondes wear miniskirts in San Francisco?
Because their balls hang out!Comment
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Sanitary Blonde
A blonde was driving across several states to go visit her family. She was five hours late and her family was getting worried. When she finally got there she explained that she had seen 10 signs that said ?CLEAN RESTROOMS AHEAD...?Comment
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"I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'"Comment
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Say What Again?
Did you hear about the blonde who didn't catch the joke?
It went over her head!Comment
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"I guess I kinda lost control, because in the middle of the play I ran up and lit the evil puppet villain on fire. No, I didn't. Just kidding. I just said that to illustrate one of the human emotions, which is freaking out. Another emotion is greed, as when someone kills someone for money, or something like that. Another emotion is generosity, as when you pay someone double what he paid for his stupid puppet."Comment
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Seduction Made Easy
What do blonde women put behind their ears to attract men?
Their ankles.Comment
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"It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money."Comment
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Set Me On Fire
What do you call a doll on fire?
A Barbie-Q!Comment
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"The old-timers around here still shake their heads and chuckle about that city slicker who came through, trying to peddle 'hair restorer.' He took everyone's money in a poker game, so when he tried to sell the bottles of hair restorer, nobody had any money left to buy it!"Comment
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Sex-Obsessed Blonde
Why do some blondes only think about sex?
Because they're dirty blondes.Comment
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"What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk? And after you're real drunk, maybe go down to the public park and stagger around and ask people for money, and then lie down and go to sleep."Comment
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She Gives Great Headphone
A blonde went to go get her haircut wearing pair of headphones. The hairdresser tried to get her to take them off, but the blonde protested.
"You can't take those away from me -- I'll die without them!"
The hairdresser sighed, and tried to explain how difficult it would be to cut her hair with them on, but the blonde wouldn't budge. So she began cutting the hair around the headphones. Soon, the blonde feel asleep, and the hairdresser figured she could remove the headphones for a few minutes. But shortly thereafter, the blonde collapsed, dead on the floor. The hairdresser, confused, picked up the headphones, which were repeating "Breathe In, Breathe Out."Comment
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"If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of conquistadores came up to you and asked where the gold was, I don't think it would be a good idea to say, 'I swallowed it. So sue me.'"Comment
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She Is So Blonde... "Soul Train"
She is so blonde that she thought she needed a token to get on ?Soul Train.?Comment
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"I wish I had a dollar for every time I spent a dollar, because then, yahoo!, I'd have all my money back."Comment
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She Is So Blonde... Taco Bell
She is so blonde, she thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.Comment
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"I wish I lived back in the Old West days, because I'd save up my money for about twenty years so I could buy a solid-gold pick. Then I'd go out west and start digging for gold. When someone came up and asked what I was doing, I'd say, 'Looking for gold, ya durn fool.' He'd say, 'Your pick is gold.' And I'd say, 'well, that was easy.' Good joke, huh?"Comment
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She's So Blonde
She's so blonde she spent an hour looking at a can of orange juice because it said "concentrate".Comment
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"I think one way police departments could make some money would be to hold a yard sale of murder weapons. Many people, for example, could probably use a cheap ice pick."Comment
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She's So Blonde... 60 Minutes
She is so blonde that it takes her two hours to watch "60 Minutes."Comment
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