Blondes On Blonde Jokes
Why do blondes like blonde jokes?
It makes them feel popular.
Why do blondes like blonde jokes?
It makes them feel popular.
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Next pleeeeeeazeComment
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Blondes Screwing
How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They only screw in cars.Comment
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Blondevision
A blonde went to an appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
"Darn, he recognized me," she thought.
She went for a complete disguise this time: a brown curly wig, big baggy clothes, and big sunglasses. Then she waited a few days before she approached the salesman again and said, "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.Comment
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Blondog
Why does a blond dog have lumps on his head?
From chasing parked cars!Comment
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Blow in the Blonde's
What did the blonde say when someone blew in her ear?
Thanks for the refill.Comment
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vBulletin Message
Sorry! The administrator has specified that users can only post one message every 15 seconds.
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Bow-Legged Cowgirls
Why do blonde cowgirls walk bow-legged?
Because their boyfriends eat with their hats on.Comment
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Brain Cell
What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
Pregnant!Comment
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Brainy Blonde
What do you call a blond with two brain cells? ''PREGNANT''Comment
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Breadcrumbs in the Toilet
Why does the blonde throw breadcrumbs in the toilet every morning?
To feed the toilet duck!Comment
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Britney & Christina Get Locked Out
Britney Spears had just bought her new car and decided to go shopping with her friend and rival, Christina Aguilera. A few hours later she came out and realizes she had locked her keys in the car, so they spent a few hours pacing around the car trying to figure out what to do.
Finally, Britney looked off into the distance and saw storm cloud. She turned to her friend and said," Quick, think of something because a storm is coming and I left the top open!"Comment
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Broom Factory
A blonde has been working in a broom factory since childhood, despite the state's strict anti-child labor laws, and has always been a good worker. But one day, she storms into her boss' office.
"I quit! That's it, I'm not working here anymore!"
"Why?" asks the boss. "What's the problem?"
"I've been working here for so long that I've grown the broom bristles between my legs. I can't take it anymore."
"Listen," the boss says. "That's perfectly normal. Look, I have those too."
"Oh, my God!" she exclaims. "It's worse than I thought! You've also grown a broom handle!"Comment
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Brunette Meets Genie
A brunette is walking through the country, when she finds a bottle. She rubs it and, you guessed it, a genie appears.
The genie says, "You are allowed three wishes. But, I must warn you, anything you get, all the blondes in the world get twice as much."
The woman says, "Okay. Give me a nice house."
The genie replies, "You now have one nice house and all the blondes in the world have two."
The the lady says, "Give me a gorgeous man."
The genie replies, "You now have one gorgeous man, while all the blondes have two."
The lady says, "For my last wish, Genie, see that stick over there? Beat me half to death with it."Comment
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Brunette Shopping
Why do brunettes take blondes shopping with them?
So they can park in the handicap spaces.Comment
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Brunette, Blonde & Railroad Tracks
A brunette was jumping along railroad tracks, saying, ?21, 21, 21.? A blonde comes along and starts doing the same thing. They hear a train and the brunette jumps off, but the blonde keeps jumping. The blonde gets hit and dies. After the train leaves, the brunette jumps back on saying this time, ?22, 22, 22....?Comment
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Brunette, Blonde, Brunette
What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A mental block.Comment
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Brunettes and God
Why did God create brunettes?
So ugly men wouldn't be left out!Comment
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Burnt Blonde Ears
A blonde goes to a doctor because both of her ears are burnt. ?'Sit down and tell me how it happened,? says the doctor.
?Well,I was ironing my clothes when I received a call and instead of picking the phone I picked up the iron and burnt my ear.?
?'But that's one ear - what about the other??
?The guy called again!?Comment
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Bus Stop Blondes
Two blondes are waiting at a bus stop.
When a bus pulls up and opens the door, one of the blondes leans inside and asks the bus driver:''Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?''
The bus driver shakes his head and says,''No, I'm sorry.''
At this the other blonde leans inside, smiles, and twitters: ''Will it take ME?''Comment
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C-section and Blonde
One day a blonde and her friend and their parents were talking about the birth of the blonde and her friend. The friend's father said that Jane was a C-section baby. And the blonde said, ''I don't know what section I'm from!''Comment
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Captured Blonde
A blonde woman and a red-headed woman are taken hostage by terrorists. The women are taken to a remote island and put before a firing squad. But first, the terrorists ask the red-headed woman if she has any last words.
The red-head points and says, ?Twister!? The terrorists ran in all different directions and the red-headed woman gets away.
When they realize what has happened, the come back and to where the blonde woman is still standing, and they ask her if she has any last words. She points and says, ?Fire!?Comment
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Castaway Gals
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded on an island. The redhead looks to the east and says that the shore is about 20 miles away. She swims out 10 miles, but gets tired and drowns.
The brunette also looks to the east, figures the distance to shore is about 20 miles, and starts swimming. She gets 15 miles, but gets tired and drowns.
The blonde figures about 20 miles to the shore also. She swims 19 miles, to the point where she can barely see the shore, and gets tired. So she swims back.Comment
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Cerebral Blonde
What do you call a blond with two brain cells?
Pregnant!Comment
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Cheerleading Tryouts
One day two girls were trying out for the school cheerleading squad. One was a blonde and one was a brunette. After they both had tryouts, they went home to wait until the results were posted. The blonde goes to see if she made it that night. Once she found out she made it she got out her cell phone and called the brunette, but she didn't answer, so the blonde just went back home. The next day the brunette called the blonde to see if she wanted to go with her to look at their scores. The blonde says sure and meets the brunette at the school. The brunette beats the blonde to the school, so she goes ahead and looks at the scores to find out they both made it. When the blonde gets there, she finds her name on the list again. Then she says, ''Yes!! I made it again, I made it last night and I made it again today. I am on a roll!''Comment
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PussyCash pays $100 per ImLive signupOriginally posted by BastarD
Cerebral Blonde
What do you call a blond with two brain cells?
Pregnant!
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Christmas Blondes
What do you call three blondes at Christmas?
Ho, ho, ho!Comment
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Clear Blue Easy
The doctor tells the blonde, "you're pregnant!"
The blonde says, "are you sure it's mine?"Comment
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Comfortable
Two sisters, a blonde and a brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so they can breed their own stock.
The brunette balances their checkbook, then decides to take their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "If I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."
The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram.
She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pick-up truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."
Well, with only $1 left after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, comfortable."
The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pick-up truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you just write, comfortable?"
The brunette explains, "My sister's a blonde. She'll read it slowly."Comment
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Confusing Blonde
Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner.
Q: How does a blonde confuse you?
A: She comes out and says she did.Comment
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Convenience Store
How are a blonde's legs like a convenience store?
They're always open.Comment
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PussyCash pays $100 per ImLive signupOriginally posted by BastarD
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Cyber-Blonde 3
What do blondes and computers have in common?
They both go down!Comment
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