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many moons ago when Jesus was still hanging on the cross (early 90s) I was trying to fly to Kansas City and the customs agent was the ultimate Eugene Tackleberry. (see imdb Police Academy if this reference is lost on you)
I had my birth certificate from Quebec, my driver's licence, health card and the usual shit a Canadian has. He starts busting my balls asking why I am trying to fly out of Toronto with a Quebec birth certificate. I was sort of confused by the question and explained that I was born in Quebec 20 years before my flight. I hand him damn near everything in my wallet and finally he tells me he can't allow me to board the plane because my birth certificate isn't laminated and it could have been printed anywhere.
So by this point I'm pissed that I am going to miss my flight and I'm on a pay phone trying to find out if my mother in law can bring me my passport. Nobody is home, yada yada so after hanging around for 45 minutes I notice the guy had left his station. I quickly go to a lady customs officer at another booth and when I'm trying to go through there she mentions to me that I am flagged in the system as not allowed to cross without a passport. She ends up letting me through after my sob story about needing to get there for a wedding and she tells me to make sure that on my return trip I have my passport otherwise I won't be able to get back in to Canada. She wasn't able to clear the flag in the system.
Needless to say I had to get my fucking passport couriered down to me to be safe.
And the funniest thing about all this is I couldn't be more white even if I went outside and rubbed myself in snow.
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