Blonde Cell Death
How do a blonde's brain cells die?
Alone.
How do a blonde's brain cells die?
Alone.
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here we go again
"we" ?
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Blonde Chainsaw Massacre
What do you call a blonde with a chainsaw?
Dead!Comment
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Blonde Coffee Breaks
Why don't blondes get coffee breaks at work?
Because retraining costs too much!Comment
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Blonde Coffee Drinker
A blonde says to a brunette, ''Excuse me, but each time I sip my coffee, my eye seems to hurt.''
The brunette says, ''Well maybe you should take the spoon out of the cup.''Comment
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Blonde Confusion
How do you confuse a blonde?
Tell her a blonde joke.Comment
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Blonde Counting Sheep
Once there was a blonde driving home from work when she saw a sheep farm. She stops and asks the farmer if she can have a sheep. The farmer says "If you can count all my sheep I'll let you have any one you want." The blonde looks around her for a moment and says, "You have 356 sheep." The farmer exclaims, "Wow -- you're exactly right. I guess blondes really aren't dumb. Now go pick yourself out a sheep."
The blonde makes her choice, picks it up, comes back to the farmer to thank him. "Oh no," he says, "you can't have that one." "Why not?" asks the blonde, "you said I could have any sheep I wanted." And the farmer says, "Ma'am, that's my dog."Comment
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I need a lot of fuckin posting more
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Blonde Cross Road
Why did the blonde cross the road?
She was tied to the baby that was stapled to the chicken.Comment
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Blonde Crossing
Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
From crawling across the street when the sign said, ''DON'T WALK.''Comment
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Blonde Data
Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear ?
A: Data transfer.Comment
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Blonde Destroyer
What is a blonde's definition of a naval destroyer.
A hula hoop with a nail in it.Comment
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Blonde Diet
There was blonde who wanted to go on a diet. She went to the doctor and asked for his advice. He said that she was going to go on a diet for three days
"Eat anything and everything you want for the first two days of your diet. Then skip the third day."
So the blonde went home and ate anything and everything she wanted for the first two days, then she skipped the third day.
The next day she went back to the doctor and he asked her, "How is your diet?"
She said, "Well, the first two days were easy but that third day was hard. Doing all that skipping made me really tired."Comment
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Blonde Driver
Why did the blonde take a right into the ditch?
Her blinker was on.Comment
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Blonde Driving
Q: Why did the blonde get pulled over by the police?
A: Her headlights weren't working, so she was flashing people.Comment
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Blonde Driving
A blonde was swerving all over the road and driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop.
The cop walked up to her window and asked, "Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?"
The blonde said, "I'm sorry sir, but wherever I go, there's always a tree in front of me and I can't seem to get away from it!"
The cop looked at her and said, "Lady, that's your air freshener!"Comment
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Blonde E-Mail
How do you know when a blonde's been sending e-mail?
Envelopes in the disk drive.Comment
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Blonde Fired
Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
Because she threw out all the W's.Comment
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Blonde Fish Killer
How does a blonde kill a fish?
She tries to drown it!Comment
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Blonde Gets Job
Q: How did a blonde get a job at a prestigious country club?
A: She told them she was good at handling members.Comment
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Blonde Girlfriend
Q: What's the advantage of having a blonde as a girlfriend?
A: You get to park in handicapped zones.Comment
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Blonde Goes to the Airport
She is so blonde that, when she went to the airport and saw a sign that said ?Airport Left,? she turned around and went back home.Comment
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Blonde Grenadier
What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.Comment
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Blonde Gymnastics
What do you call a blonde doing a handstand?
A brunette.Comment
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Blonde Half-Wit
What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
GiftedComment
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Blonde Hits the Ground Last
If a blonde and a brunette jump off a building with the same velocity, each travelling at a parallel speed relative to one another, who lands first?
The brunette. The blonde has to stop and ask for directions.Comment
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Blonde Homesteaders
What did the blonde mother say to the blonde daughter?
"If you're not in bed by 12, you can come home!"Comment
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Blonde Horse Ranch
A blonde had two horses, but she couldn't tell them apart. So she asked her neighbor for advice. He suggested that she cut the tail off one of the horses. This worked until the other horse snagged his tail on a fence. So the neighbor suggested notching one of the horses' ear. This worked until the other horse snagged his ear on a fence. So the neighbor suggested measuring the heights of the horses. And sure enough, the white horse was two inches taller than the black horse.Comment
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Blonde Horse Sense
A blonde buys two horses and she can't tell them apart. So she asks the farmer next door what to do. He says to cut one of their tails off. So she does. But then the other horse's tail gets caught in a bush and rips off. So she can't tell them apart again.
She asks the farmer for advice a second time. He tells her to cut one of the horses ears. So she does. But then the other horse gets its ear ripped in a barbed wire fence.
She is still confused. She asks the farmer what to do. He tells her to measure them.
She comes back and says, "The white horse is 2 inches taller than the black horse!"Comment
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Blonde Horses
Why did God give blondes 2% more brains than horses?
So they don't crap on the street during parades!Comment
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Blonde House Party
How do you get a blonde on the roof?
....tell her drinks are on the house.Comment
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Blonde Ice Fishing
A blonde wanted to go ice fishing, so after getting all of the right tools, she headed toward the nearest frozen lake. After getting comfy on her stool she started to cut a circular hole in the ice. Then from the heavens a voice boomed, ''THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.''
Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of hot chocolate and started to cut yet another hole in the ice. The voice boomed, ''THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.''
This time quite scared, the blonde moved to the far end of the ice. Then she started another hole and once again the voice said, ''THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.''
The very scared blonde raised her head and said, ''Is that you, Lord?'' The voice answered, ''NO. IT IS THE MANAGER OF THE ICE RINK.''Comment
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Blonde in a Barber Shop
A blonde walks into the hairdresser with headphones on. She asks the woman working there for a haircut. The blonde sits down in the chair. The woman takes the blonde's headphones off and cuts her hair. At the end, the woman asks how she likes her hair but, to her surprise the blonde is dead! The woman picks up the headphones and listens.
She hears: ?Breathe in...breathe out...breathe in...breathe out."Comment
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roll that shit, post that shit
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Blonde In A Bathroom
Why did the blonde get confused in the the bathroom?
She is not used to pulling her own pants down.Comment
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Blonde in a boat.
There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field. She was in a boat rowing, with no water in sight. The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, ?What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!?Comment
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Blonde in a Car
A blonde walked into a gas station and said to the manager, ''I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?''
''Why sure,'' said the manager, ''we have something that works especially well for that.''
A couple minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how the blonde was doing and he heard another voice. ''No, no! A little to the left,'' said the other blonde inside the car.Comment
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Blonde in a Leather Jacket
What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket?
A rebel without a clue.Comment
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Blonde in a Library
A blonde walks into the library and says to the librarian, ''Can I have a burger and fries?''
''Sorry, this is a library.''
So the blonde whispers, ''Oh, may I have a burger and fries?''Comment
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Blonde in a Round Room
How do you keep a blonde busy?
Put her in a round room and tell her there is a vibrator in the corner!Comment
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Blonde in a Snowstorm
A blonde got lost in her car in a snowstorm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. ''If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait for a snow plow and follow it.'' Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about 45 minutes.
Finally, the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, ''Well, I'm done with the parking lot here at Wal-Mart, now you can follow me over to K-Mart.''Comment
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Blonde in a Swimming Race
A blonde, brunette and a redhead had a breaststroke swimming race across the English Channel. The brunette came in first, the redhead came in second and the blonde never finished.
When the blonde got in the lifeboat she said, ''I don't want to be a tattletale or anything, but the other two used their arms.''Comment
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Closing in on 1000 there
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Originally posted by coolone
Closing in on 1000 there
Yea, I think I will make 1001 post and I will go to bed
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Blonde in a Tree
Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree?
A: You wave at herComment
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Blonde in an Elevator
A tall blonde and a tall brunette are stading in an elevator. A short bald man with lots of dandruff walks in, then gets off at the next floor. The brunette says, ?Boy he could use some head and shoulders.?
The blonde says, ?Hm. How do you give shoulders??Comment
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Blonde in Disguise
There was a blonde who was tired of all the blonde jokes going around and decided to dye her hair brown. She then went for a drive in the country and came upon a shepherd herding his sheep across the road.
"Hey, shepherd! If I guess how many sheep there are here, can I keep one?" The shepherd is puzzled but agrees. Out of the blue, she blurts out "352!" He is stunned but keeps his word and allows her to pick out a sheep. She picks out the cutest one.
He looks at her and says "If I guess what color your hair really is, can I have my dog back?"Comment
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Blonde in Freezer
Q: What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
A: A Frosted Flake.Comment
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Blonde in Grocery Store
She was so blonde that she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.Comment
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