Joystick (Ya Get It?)
What is the difference between a joystick and a man's dick?
A joystick does its job.
What is the difference between a joystick and a man's dick?
A joystick does its job.
-
-
3 Irish monks have passed all tests, except for one. It is the test of purity. So the other monks tie bells to their dicks and put them in a room with a naked chick. She dances in front of the first one, and, sure enough, he goes 'ding-ding!'
"Go take a cold shower, now!" she commands, and he goes to take a shower. So she dances in front of the next one, and, after a couple of minutes, he goes 'ding-ding!'
"Go take a cold shower with your brother!" she yells, and he leaves. Now she goes to the last one, dancing in front of him. He doesnt ring. The woman nods.
"Good, you've passed. Go take a shower with your brothers."
"Ding-ding!"Comment
-
Jungle Gaiety
What do you call a sex-crazed gay cannibal?
A head hunter!Comment
-
-
The Bottom Line
A cowboy rides his horse up to a saloon.
All the patrons gawked as the cowboy kissed his horse on the butt before coming in and asking for a drink.
The bartender serves him and asks, "Mind if I ask why'd ya kiss your horse on the butt?"
The cowboy says, "It's 'cause I got chapped lips."
The bartender asks, "Does manure help them heal?"
Cowboy replies, "No, but it keeps me from licking them."Comment
-
Why can't Chinese couples have white babies?
Because two Wongs don't make a white!Comment
-
Kleenex
How do you get a Kleenex to dance?
Put a little boogie in it!Comment
-
Lab Monkeys
What do you call a trash bag full of mutilated laboratory monkeys?
Rhesus Pieces.Comment
-
Lady At the Bar
There was a lady at a bar. Every time she wanted a drink she would raise her hand. She had very bad armpit hair.
The Bartender was getting really grossed out and told the man sitting at the bar that next time she did that he was not going to give her a drink.
One minute later she said, ''Bartender, Bartender, get me another drink.''
The bartender said no. The man sitting there said, ''Oh give the poor ballerina another drink.''
The bartender said, ''How do you know she is a ballerina?''
The man replied, ''Well anyone that can lift there leg that high must be a ballerina!''Comment
-
Late Cannibal
Did you hear about the cannibal who came home late for dinner?
His wife gave him the cold shoulder!Comment
-
Three men want to marry the king's most beautiful daughter. The king agrees to give them a chance, but they must perform three difficult tasks: defeat an ogre, turn lead to gold, and screw a cow. The first man dies fighting the ogre, the second fails at turning lead to gold, but the third man successfully completes all three tasks.
"Congratulations!" says the king. "You may now have my daughter's hand in marriage."
"Screw that," says the man. "I want the cow."Comment
-
Latex Gloves
A dentist is talking to his patient about the sanitary problems some of his fellow dentists were facing. He said that one of his friends was touring a latex glove factory in Mexico, and saw how they make the gloves. One person would stick his hand in the melted latex, walk over to a vat of cooling water, then dip his hand in it to solidify the latex. The glove was then thrown in a finished products box. The dentist's patient was disgusted by the lack of care taken in making the gloves sanitary. Wanting to keep all the patients he could, the dentist didn't mention how they made condoms.Comment
-
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To smoke some marijuana
Jack got high
Pulled down his fly
And Jill said I don't wanna!Comment
-
Laxative Cough Therapy
A man is working at a pharmaceutical store, and he always gets the orders wrong. His boss tells him if he screws up one more time, he is fired.
An old man walks in and orders cough syrup. He can't find any so he gives him a laxative instead. The man takes the laxative and leaves the store. The boss comes up and asks why he gave the man a laxative in place of cough syrup. He points towards the old man who is suddenly leaning on a lightpost and says, "Look at him -- he's afraid to coughComment
-
Leper Hockey
Why did the referees stop the leper hockey game?
There was a face-off in the corner.Comment
-
-
Leper Stew
How do you make stew out of a leper?
Put him in a Jacuzzi and turn it on full.Comment
-
Like Midgets In The Night...
What is grosser than gross?
When a midget walks by and says your hair smells nice...Comment
-
Little Boy Blue
Knock, knock!
Who''s there?
Little boy blue.
Little boy blue blue who?
Michael Jackson.Comment
-
Little Girls Who Suck
Why did the little girl fall off the swing?
She had no arms.Comment
-
Little Green Balls
What do you have when you have two green balls in your hand?
Kermit's undivided attention.Comment
-
Little Johnny Gives to the Sick
Little Johnny was in church with him mom for Sunday Mass when he suddenly felt nauseous.
"Mom, I think I'm going to throw up!"
She told him, "I want you to run outside as fast as you can. Run across the lawn and go behind the bushes. You can throw up behind the bushes and nobody will see you."
So Little Johnny hauled ass for the door. Less than a minute later, he returned to his seat next to his mom. He had the look of obvious relief on his young face.
"Did you make it all the way to the bushes, Johnny?"
"I didn't have to go that far, mom.
Just as I got to the front door, I found a box that had a sign on it: FOR THE SICK.''Comment
-
Lose 20 Lbs. Guaranteed!
There guy goes to a weight loss clinic and says he needs to lose 20 lbs. The receptionist sends him upstairs, where he finds a beautiful naked woman with a sign that says "If you catch me, you can screw me." An hour later, he emerges, sated and 20 lbs. lighter.
A month later, he returns and needs to lose 50 lbs. The receptionist sends him upstairs again, but this time there are two girls with the same sign. A day later, he comes out 50 lbs. lighter.
A year later, he returns and needs to lose 100 lbs. He gets sent upstairs again, where he finds a huge gorilla with a sign that reads "If I catch you, I screw you."Comment
-
Luke's Saga
What did Obi Wan say when Luke was constipated?
"Use the F-O-R-C-E Luke!"Comment
-
Originally posted by FrankHolland
lets both take a break before they close this thread...
lets take a break for real, or they close this thread, it's almost like a sticky now lolComment
-
Lunch Anyone?
A little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter and orders a hamburger. The huge guy behind the counter bellows, "One burger!"
Whereupon the chef grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it in his bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and then tosses it on the grill.
"That's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen," the old lady says.
"Yeah?" says the counterman. "You should be here in the morning when he makes the doughnuts."Comment
-
Originally posted by FrankHolland
lets take a break for real, or they close this thread, it's almost like a sticky now lol
Ok for how many time ?Comment
-
M&M's
An old man and a young man work together in an office. The old man always has a jar of peanuts on his desk, and the young man really loves peanuts.
One day, while the old man is away from his desk, the young man yields to temptation and scarfs down over half of the contents of the jar. When the old man returns, the young man feels guilty and confesses to his crime.
"Don't worry, son. I never eat the peanuts anyway," the old man replies. "Since I lost my teeth, all I can do is gum chocolate off the M&M's."Comment
-
Malcolm in the Puddle
Malcolm: Miss Wilson can I go to the loo?
Miss Wilson: In two minutes Malcolm. Do your alphabet first.
Malcolm: Ok Miss Wilson. abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz.
Miss Wilson: Very good, Malcolm, but where's the p?
Malcolm: Miss, it's running down my leg!Comment
-
Man and Pharmacist
A man asks his pharmacist for half of a Viagra pill. The doctor says that half a pill won't do any good, he needs two or three pills.
The man explains, ''No, you see the reason I only want half a pill is because I'm tired of peeing on my shoes.''Comment
-
Moleasses
There was a mamma mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole outside of a farm house out in the country. The papa mole reached his head out of the hole and said, ?Mmmmm, I smell sausage.? The mama mole reached her head outside of the hole and said ?Mmmmmm, I smell pancakes.? The baby mole tried to reach his head outside the hole but couldn't because of the two bigger moles. The baby mole said, ?The only thing I can smell is molasses.?Comment
-
Mommy, Mommy!
"Mommy, Mommy! Where have all your scabs gone?"
"Shut up and eat your corn flakes."Comment
-
atleast 30 minutes, because i dont think it allowed to keep a post at the top (like a sticky) all day longOriginally posted by BastarD
Ok for how many time ?
Comment
-
I'm still waiting for you answer - how long break
Comment
-
Originally posted by FrankHolland
atleast 30 minutes, because i dont think it allowed to keep a post at the top (like a sticky) all day long
Ok let's do it.
Next jokes blowout in 30 minutes dudes, hang on
Comment
-
traffic addict are you happy because of these all ?
Comment
-
lol okOriginally posted by BastarD
Ok let's do it.
Next jokes blowout in 30 minutes dudes, hang on
Comment
-
Comment
-
Originally posted by FrankHolland
lol ok
20 minutes more ?
Comment
-
Ok I'm back and my fridge is full of beer
Comment
-
I'm banned but I'm really trying to exploit this shit 
Comment
-
5 minutes and jokes/pics are being posted by me
Comment
-
Total Posts: 1,542
User Posts
BastarD 615
FrankHolland 494
pornpf69 113
spunky 75
coolone 55
Trent Edison 44
tranza 44
Doctor Dre 18
HKS 18
traffic addict 11
Thrawn$ 10
fantasycall 5
fatsky 5
dj pussy 4
JamesK 4
Screaming 3
banderas 3
adamneve 3
BlingDaddy 3
nofx 2
moneymaker_ro 2
Manowar 2
Thumbler 1
Fatalspeed 1
Vitasoy 1
Kevsh 1
ProfitPrograms 1
pood 1
mastermikex 1
irishfury 1
beemk 1
45 now...I'm just a newbie.Comment
-
I'm never happy, I always want more trafficOriginally posted by BastarD
traffic addict are you happy because of these all ?
Comment
-
Originally posted by traffic addict
I'm never happy, I always want more traffic
Comment
-
One day a man walks into a tatoo parlor and tells the tatto artist that he wanted a 100 dollar bill tatooed on his dick, the tattoo artist told him if he could give him three reasons why he wanted the tattoo he would give it to him. The man says. "Well, for one, I like to play with my money, two, I like to watch it grow, and three, if my wife wants to blow 100 dollars again, she doesnt have to go to the mall"Comment
-
-
Knock, Knock
Who?s there?
I know it's you.
Crap.
Knock, knock
Who?s there?
A talking pig.
Pigs can?t talk.
Neither can penguins, but I can?t shut him up! Wait till you get a load of the dancing candelabra?
Knock, knock
Who?s there?
You want to buy a kitten?
You want to buy a kitten who?
Make pretty pet.
I?m allergic to cats.
Taste good, too?
Knock, knock
Who?s there?
You sure you don?t want buy a little kitten?
Yes, I?m sure.
Could make one cute fuzzy glove?
Knock, knock
Who?s there?
Ted Bundy
Ted Bundy who?
Let me in, meat!
No!
I mean? Hello I am Santa Claus.
Yay! Santa!
Knock, knock
Who?s there?
A Predator drone-launched Hellfire missile.
Saddam, I think it?s for you!
Knock, knock
Who?s there?
Gandalf the Gray Wizard, friend to hobbits and elves!
Dork-ass loser.
Don?t hit me! Don?t hit me!
Knock, knock
Who?s there?
My mouth is full of spiders.
My mouth is full of spiders who?
I didn?t kill the baby. It was made out of popcorn. Popcorn baby! I need a bucket - my knuckles are melting?
Man, you have got to lay off the cough syrup.
Knock, knock
Who?s there?
Hitler
Hitler who?
Hitler: German, dictator, mass murderer. Little mustache? One testicle? ?HEIL ME!? Ring a bell?
I thought you were someone else.
How is that possible? There is only ONE HITLER!
Nope. Went to school with a Nelson Hitler.
You?re just trying to annoy me now.
Do you really have just one testicle?
You?d think I miss it, but I don?t
Knock, knock
Who?s there?
Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.
What, and that makes you special?
Knock, knock
Who?s there?
Some.
Some who?
Some asshole telling you knock, knock jokes. .Comment
-
1. Look at the size of his putter.
2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent.
3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker.
4. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
6. Lift your head and spread your legs.
7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired.
8. Just turn your back and drop it.
9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls.
10. Damn, I missed the hole again.Comment
-
Comment