Originally posted by BastarD
Heineken is kickass
But it is expensive in Poland
Heineken is kickass
But it is expensive in Poland
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IC
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Ok another Marlboro LightComment
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Originally posted by FrankHolland
and another page... we're on fire
somebody stop ussssssssssssComment
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What's German for 'virgin'?
Goesintight.
What is the word 'non-virgin' in German?
BrokenhymenComment
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Originally posted by BastarD
Ok another Marlboro Light
and than some jokes
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Originally posted by FrankHolland
we are not postbots, we are post whores
Yes we are, we are fuckin best
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A man comes home from work and finds his wife screwing his cousin in the closet.
''What the hell are you doing?!'' the man asks.
''I'm riding a bus,'' his cousin replies.
''That's a stupid thing to say!''
''That's a stupid thing to ask!''Comment
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do you also use firefox ? cause IE sux and Firefox ownsOriginally posted by BastarD
Yes we are, we are fuckin best
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A German woman is walking down the street. Eleven blonde guys walk up and attack her.
She screams, ''Nein! Nein!'' So two guys walk away.Comment
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A blonde and a brunette are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the brunette happens to see her boyfriend buying flowers. She sighs and says, "Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again.....for no reason."
The blonde looks quizzically at her and says, "What's the big deal, don't you like getting flowers?"
The brunette says, "Oh sure.....but he always has expectations after getting me flowers, and I just don't feel like spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the air."
The blonde says, "Don't you have a vase?"Comment
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There was a man who really took care of his body. One day he took a look in the mirror and noticed that he was tan all over except for his penis. So he decided to do something about it. He went to the beach and got completely undressed and buried himself in the sand, except for his penis, which he left sticking out.
Two old ladies were strolling along the beach, one using a cane. Upon seeing the thing sticking up out of the sand, she began to move it around with her cane, remarking to the other lady, ''There is no justice in this world.'' The other lady asked what she meant.
"Well, when I was 20, I was curious about it. When I was 30, I enjoyed it. When I was 40, I asked for it. When I was 50, I paid for it. When I was 60, I prayed for it. When I was 70, I forgot all about it. Now I'm 80 and the damn things are growing wild and I'm too old to squat!"Comment
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Joe took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe.
I want to get weighed," she said. They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize.
Next, the couple went on the Ferris Wheel. When the ride was over, Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do.
"I want to get weighed," she said.
Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and Joe lost his dollar.
The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. "I want to get weighed," she responded.
By this time, Joe figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake.
Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go?"
Kim responded, "Oh, Waura, it was wousy."Comment
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An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom.
As soon as he had a chance, the husband turned to his voluptuous young wife, bound up on the bed in a skimpy nightgown, and whispered, "Honey, this guy hasn't seen a woman in years. Just cooperate with anything he wants. If he wants sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it. Our lives depend on it!" "Dear," the wife hissed, spitting out her gag, "I'm so relieved you feel that way, because he just told me that he thinks you're really cute!"Comment
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tolieeeeeeeeeeeetttttttttttComment
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Two guys were driving down the road when they saw a goat with its head stuck in a fence.
"Hey man pull over here," said one of the guys. "I want to go screw this goat." He does, and when he is done he says, "Okay, now it's your turn." So his friend sticks his own head in the fence.Comment
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I hate beer It's just about going to toilet
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did you flush? I thought I smell somethingOriginally posted by BastarD
tolieeeeeeeeeeeettttttttttt
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What is the best thing God ever created?
The vagina.
What was the worst thing God ever did?
Let women manage it!Comment
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A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied and he slipped into his shoes and drove home.
"Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house.
"Darling," replied the man, "I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock."
The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!"Comment
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Four Catholic ladies were having coffee one afternoon.
The first Catholic women tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him father." "
The second Catholic woman chirps, "My son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people call him 'your grace.'"
The third Catholic lady says, "My son is a Cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, he's called ?Your Eminence.?"
The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence, the first three women prod her with a subtle, '"Well??"
So she replies, "My son is 6'2. He has broad, square shoulders. Terribly handsome. Tight muscular body. Hard buns and a very nice bulge. He is also a male dancer at a female strip club and whenever he walks into a room?women gasp,?OH MY LORD!?"Comment
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What is the difference between a GOOD and a BAD girl?
A GOOD girl goes to a party, goes home then goes to bed.
A BAD girl goes to a party, goes to bed then goes home.Comment
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Q: What do you do with 365 used condoms?
A: Melt them into a tire and call it a good year.Comment
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Good: Your children are sexually active.
Bad: With each other
Worse: And your wife.
Good: Hot outdoor sex.
Bad: Getting arrested.
Worse: By your husband
Good: The teacher likes your son.
Bad: Sexually.
Worse: The techer is a he.
Good: You go home for a quickie.
Bad: you get caught by your wife
Worse: You're with her sister.Comment
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Q. What's the difference between a tire and 365 used rubbers?
A. One's a Goodyear and the other's a great year!Comment
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LOL I just went to toilet....Comment
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... and I saw my mum was cleanin shit out of there...Comment
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lol, I smelled it comingOriginally posted by BastarD
LOL I just went to toilet....
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So I thought only......Comment
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A man calls the Animal Control in his town, because there is a crazed gorilla on his roof, and he can't figure out how to get it down safely. Soon, a van pulls up, and an old man gets out, carrying a small dog, a baseball bat, and a gun. He hands the man the gun.
''Okay, here's what we do. I'm going to go up onto your roof, and threaten the gorilla with this baseball bat until he falls down. When he falls down, this little dog will bite him in the balls until he's incapacitated.''
''Great,'' says the man. ''But what's the gun for?''
''In case I fall down instead of the gorilla ? shoot the dog.''Comment
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"Fuck that bastard will post 10 jokes in this time..."
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lolOriginally posted by BastarD
... and I saw my mum was cleanin shit out of there...
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Originally posted by FrankHolland
time for some music
Right now I'm listening to new CD of Cradle of FilthComment
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will you sleep tonight?Originally posted by BastarD
"Fuck that bastard will post 10 jokes in this time..."
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Three nuns were taking a walk one day.
''I was cleaning the Father's room yesterday and found some pornography magazines," said the first nun.
"What did you do with them?" asked the second.
"I threw them away."
"I was cleaning the Father's room yesterday and found some condoms," said the second nun.
"What did you do with them?" asked the first.
"I punched holes in them." The third nun fainted.Comment
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Originally posted by FrankHolland
will you sleep tonight?
No.
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I'm considering that if any of us 2 will win this contest...Comment
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I knew this dude who only listened to cradle of filth, he also had alot of their merchandise and stuffOriginally posted by BastarD
Right now I'm listening to new CD of Cradle of Filth
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We can exchange for 200$ eachComment
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post #1Comment
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ya true but you run with the moneyOriginally posted by BastarD
We can exchange for 200$ each hehehehe
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