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  • BastarD
    Confirmed User
    • Apr 2004
    • 6341

    #351
    Don't Choke

    Two cowboys walk into a roadhouse to wash the trail dust from their throats. They stand at the bar, drinking their beers and talking quietly about cattle prices. Suddenly a woman at a table behind them, who had been eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so it becomes apparent that she is in real distress, and the cowboys turn to look at her. "Kin ya swaller?" asks one of the cowboys. No, signals the woman, desperately shaking her head. "Kin ya breathe?" asks the other. The woman, beginning to turn a bitblue, shakes her head. "No" again. The first cowboy walks over to her, lifts up the back of her skirt, yanks down her knickers, and slowly runs his tongue up and down the woman's behind. This shocks the woman to a violent spasm, the obstruction flies out of her mouth, and she begins to breathe again. The cowboy slowly walks back over to the bar and proudly takes a drink of his beer. His partner says in admiraton, "Ya know, I'd heard of that there Hind Lick Maneuver, but I ain't never seen nobody do it."

    Comment

    • BastarD
      Confirmed User
      • Apr 2004
      • 6341

      #352
      This Joke is Bananas!

      Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator?
      A: What are you shaking about, its me she's going to eat.

      Comment

      • BastarD
        Confirmed User
        • Apr 2004
        • 6341

        #353
        Major Crackage

        Q: Why was Oprah stopped at the airport?
        A: She was getting arrested for carrying 300lbs of crack in her pants.

        Comment

        • nofx
          Too lazy to set a custom title
          • Nov 2002
          • 16826

          #354
          fuck off

          Often times I wonder why
          There's love and hate, theres live or die.
          When sickness comes I must decide:
          When feelings go, theres suicide.

          Comment

          • BastarD
            Confirmed User
            • Apr 2004
            • 6341

            #355
            That's tacky

            A pollock walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist if he sells condoms. We have some for 75 cents a peace. The man asks for two. The pharmacist calculates the total and says, "That will be $1.58 with tax, sir." The pollock says, "Oh, these come with tacks? I was wondering how you keep them on."

            Comment

            • BastarD
              Confirmed User
              • Apr 2004
              • 6341

              #356
              What would you do?

              Q: What do you call to Alaskan lesbians?
              A: Klon-dykes

              Comment

              • BastarD
                Confirmed User
                • Apr 2004
                • 6341

                #357
                Originally posted by nofx
                fuck off
                no

                Comment

                • BastarD
                  Confirmed User
                  • Apr 2004
                  • 6341

                  #358
                  Hand me downs

                  Q: What do you say to a man with five penises?
                  A: Your jeans fit like a glove.

                  Comment

                  • BastarD
                    Confirmed User
                    • Apr 2004
                    • 6341

                    #359
                    Hot Doggin'

                    Q: What do you call a dog with no hind legs and metal balls?
                    A: Sparky!

                    Comment

                    • BastarD
                      Confirmed User
                      • Apr 2004
                      • 6341

                      #360
                      Jedi Nights

                      Q: Why do they make glow in the dark condoms?
                      A: So that gay men can play Star Wars.

                      Comment

                      • BastarD
                        Confirmed User
                        • Apr 2004
                        • 6341

                        #361
                        Finder's keepers

                        There was a blonde, a brunette and a red head. They were all sitting in a hair salon talking about their daughters. The brunette says, "I was lookin throuh my daughter's purse and I found a pack of cigarettes! Do you believe that my daughter smokes!! So then the redhead says, "Oh my gosh, I was looking through my daughter's purse and i found alcohol! Do you believe she's been drinking!! So then the blond says "I was looking through my daughter's purse and I found a condom! Do you believe my daughter has a penis?!"

                        Comment

                        • BastarD
                          Confirmed User
                          • Apr 2004
                          • 6341

                          #362
                          Lay off

                          A company boss has to decide who to lay someone off. He decides on two low level management employees Jack or Karen. He goes to Karen and says, "I will have to lay you or Jack off."

                          Comment

                          • BastarD
                            Confirmed User
                            • Apr 2004
                            • 6341

                            #363
                            Drink up

                            Q: What did the bartender say to his customers?
                            A: Men, Viagra now comes in liquid form. You can pour yourselves a real stiff one!

                            Comment

                            • BastarD
                              Confirmed User
                              • Apr 2004
                              • 6341

                              #364
                              Pound for Pound

                              Q: What makes five pounds of fat look really good?
                              A: Nipples

                              Comment

                              • nofx
                                Too lazy to set a custom title
                                • Nov 2002
                                • 16826

                                #365
                                you will die soon

                                Often times I wonder why
                                There's love and hate, theres live or die.
                                When sickness comes I must decide:
                                When feelings go, theres suicide.

                                Comment

                                • BastarD
                                  Confirmed User
                                  • Apr 2004
                                  • 6341

                                  #366
                                  Originally posted by nofx
                                  you will die soon
                                  because of cigarettes or car accident ?


                                  Isn't that what this thread is about?

                                  Comment

                                  • BastarD
                                    Confirmed User
                                    • Apr 2004
                                    • 6341

                                    #367
                                    Adult Swim

                                    A blonde, a brunette, and a red head are swimming breast stroke in a race. The blonde comes in last and says, I don't mean to be a a sore loser, but I think the other girls were using their hands

                                    Comment

                                    • BastarD
                                      Confirmed User
                                      • Apr 2004
                                      • 6341

                                      #368
                                      Dumb as Rocks

                                      Q: What do rocks and boobs have in common?
                                      A: If they're flat, you can skip them.

                                      Comment

                                      • BastarD
                                        Confirmed User
                                        • Apr 2004
                                        • 6341

                                        #369
                                        Count Chock Full of Nuts

                                        Q: Why can't a blonde count to 70?
                                        A: Because 69's a mouthfull.

                                        Comment

                                        • BastarD
                                          Confirmed User
                                          • Apr 2004
                                          • 6341

                                          #370
                                          Like Father Like Son

                                          One day a man walked in on his son masturbating. He said, "Now son, if you don't stop masterbuting, you'll go blind!" The son replies, "Hey dad! I'm over here!"

                                          Comment

                                          • BastarD
                                            Confirmed User
                                            • Apr 2004
                                            • 6341

                                            #371
                                            What are you thinking about?

                                            Little Johnny was in class when the teacher asked, "Three birds are sitting on a telephone wire, a hunter shoots one. How many are left?" "None," he says "if ones shot the others would fly away." "Actually", said the teacher "the answer was two, but I like the way you think." The next day Johnny walks over to his teacher in the cafeteria and asks, "Do you see those three women over there on the bench? Which one isn't married, the one eating the cookie, the one eating a sandwich, or the one sucking on a popsicle?" "Hmm, the one sucking on a popsicle?", the teacher asks" "Actually" said Timmy " it was the one without a wedding ring, but I like the way you think".

                                            Comment

                                            • BastarD
                                              Confirmed User
                                              • Apr 2004
                                              • 6341

                                              #372
                                              That's Meaty

                                              A man walked in to his local butcher to find his regular butcher, John absent so he asks the manager, "Where's John?" The manager tells the man that John was fired because he was found sticking his dick in the meat slicer" Then the man asked, "Where is the meat slicer now?" The butcher then replied, "I fired her too."

                                              Comment

                                              • BastarD
                                                Confirmed User
                                                • Apr 2004
                                                • 6341

                                                #373
                                                Riding in Cars With Boys

                                                Three boys were sitting on some steps watching cars go by. They see a Cadillac Escalade drive by and the first boy says, "I wish i could have that Cadillac. The second boy says, "I wish I could have that Lincoln Navigator behind it. The third boy says, "i wish my whole body was covered in curly hair because my sister has a small patch between her legs and that is how she got both of those cars.

                                                Comment

                                                • BastarD
                                                  Confirmed User
                                                  • Apr 2004
                                                  • 6341

                                                  #374
                                                  A Real WANGsta

                                                  Q: What did the left leg say to the right leg?
                                                  A: That one in the middle thinks he's hard

                                                  Comment

                                                  • BastarD
                                                    Confirmed User
                                                    • Apr 2004
                                                    • 6341

                                                    #375
                                                    Shirts Off

                                                    A woman sat on a plane heading for New York, when the pilot annouces that because of difficulties with the plane's engines, he must make an emergency landing. The woman, fearing that this may be the end of her life looks over to a man sitting next to her and rips her shirt and bra off, and throws herself on him. "Make me feel like a woman again!" she screamed. So the man rips his shirt off and hands it to her. "Here you go, you crazy bitch, iron this."

                                                    Comment

                                                    • BastarD
                                                      Confirmed User
                                                      • Apr 2004
                                                      • 6341

                                                      #376
                                                      Stick of Dynamite

                                                      Yo penis so small that if it were dynamite, there wouldn't be enough to blow your load!

                                                      Comment

                                                      • BastarD
                                                        Confirmed User
                                                        • Apr 2004
                                                        • 6341

                                                        #377
                                                        Cash Flow

                                                        One day a man walks into a tatoo parlor and tells the tatto artist that he wanted a 100 dollar bill tatooed on his dick, the tattoo artist told him if he could give him three reasons why he wanted the tattoo he would give it to him. The man says. "Well, for one, I like to play with my money, two, I like to watch it grow, and three, if my wife wants to blow 100 dollars again, she doesnt have to go to the mall"

                                                        Comment

                                                        • BastarD
                                                          Confirmed User
                                                          • Apr 2004
                                                          • 6341

                                                          #378
                                                          bumpyyy for pussy cash

                                                          Comment

                                                          • pornpf69
                                                            Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                            • Jun 2004
                                                            • 15782

                                                            #379
                                                            another bump...

                                                            Comment

                                                            • pornpf69
                                                              Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                              • Jun 2004
                                                              • 15782

                                                              #380
                                                              pussy cash is great...

                                                              Comment

                                                              • cool1
                                                                sex is good
                                                                • Sep 2001
                                                                • 24939

                                                                #381
                                                                Cool 5 days of whorin

                                                                Comment

                                                                • cool1
                                                                  sex is good
                                                                  • Sep 2001
                                                                  • 24939

                                                                  #382
                                                                  I guess to win this one must post none stop for the whole 5 days

                                                                  Comment

                                                                  • cool1
                                                                    sex is good
                                                                    • Sep 2001
                                                                    • 24939

                                                                    #383
                                                                    So what do we do

                                                                    Comment

                                                                    • pornpf69
                                                                      Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                      • Jun 2004
                                                                      • 15782

                                                                      #384
                                                                      hi there cool!

                                                                      Comment

                                                                      • pornpf69
                                                                        Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                        • Jun 2004
                                                                        • 15782

                                                                        #385
                                                                        long time no see...

                                                                        Comment

                                                                        • pornpf69
                                                                          Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                          • Jun 2004
                                                                          • 15782

                                                                          #386
                                                                          nice sig you have...

                                                                          Comment

                                                                          • cool1
                                                                            sex is good
                                                                            • Sep 2001
                                                                            • 24939

                                                                            #387
                                                                            Hi pf
                                                                            I wonder how many posts this thread will get to.

                                                                            Comment

                                                                            • pornpf69
                                                                              Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                              • Jun 2004
                                                                              • 15782

                                                                              #388
                                                                              I have absolute no Idea...

                                                                              Comment

                                                                              • cool1
                                                                                sex is good
                                                                                • Sep 2001
                                                                                • 24939

                                                                                #389
                                                                                A lot I think

                                                                                Comment

                                                                                • pornpf69
                                                                                  Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                  • Jun 2004
                                                                                  • 15782

                                                                                  #390
                                                                                  but I will keep on posting...

                                                                                  Comment

                                                                                  • pornpf69
                                                                                    Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                    • Jun 2004
                                                                                    • 15782

                                                                                    #391
                                                                                    'till its shut....

                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                    • cool1
                                                                                      sex is good
                                                                                      • Sep 2001
                                                                                      • 24939

                                                                                      #392
                                                                                      5th place is the place I want to be.

                                                                                      Comment

                                                                                      • pornpf69
                                                                                        Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                        • Jun 2004
                                                                                        • 15782

                                                                                        #393
                                                                                        I would be happy with the 5th place too

                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                        • pornpf69
                                                                                          Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                          • Jun 2004
                                                                                          • 15782

                                                                                          #394
                                                                                          but I am far from that...

                                                                                          Comment

                                                                                          • pornpf69
                                                                                            Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                            • Jun 2004
                                                                                            • 15782

                                                                                            #395
                                                                                            actually right now I am the 5th top poster....

                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                            • cool1
                                                                                              sex is good
                                                                                              • Sep 2001
                                                                                              • 24939

                                                                                              #396
                                                                                              it isn't hard to get to one of the winning spots

                                                                                              Comment

                                                                                              • pornpf69
                                                                                                Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                • Jun 2004
                                                                                                • 15782

                                                                                                #397
                                                                                                but I want to have more...

                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                • cool1
                                                                                                  sex is good
                                                                                                  • Sep 2001
                                                                                                  • 24939

                                                                                                  #398
                                                                                                  Kepping it though will be hard

                                                                                                  Comment

                                                                                                  • pornpf69
                                                                                                    Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                    • Jun 2004
                                                                                                    • 15782

                                                                                                    #399
                                                                                                    there is not much ppl whoring areound here now...

                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                    • pornpf69
                                                                                                      Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                      • Jun 2004
                                                                                                      • 15782

                                                                                                      #400
                                                                                                      3rd place now...

                                                                                                      Comment

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