Pussycash $100 per signup campaign start this Sunday, Win $1000 in this thread.

50

If you guys got free signups, yes

We have a free signup program for ImLive (no need for credit card) but we pay only $1.5 per signup not $100.

check out the $100 option for a day I'm sure you will be more then happy

Do you guys have like free signups converting to paid like AFF and AAC does ?

How are you counting the posts?
Should we add a number to each one to help?

Singles

"I met my wife at a singles' bar."

"Really?"

"I thought she was home with the kids."

Accomplished

''As soon as I get out of high school I am going to be a successful business man.''
''Sure, Dad. It's time to go to our next class.''

Robins in My Yard

I was walking home when I noticed a couple of robins laying down in the sun. I let my talking cats out and the kitten said to her mom, ''I'm hungry!'' So the mother cat said, ''What would you like?'' The kitten replied, ''I don't know!''

Then the mother cat looked at the robins and said, ''How about some basking robins?''

Yo Mama's so Smelly... Oxygen

Yo mama's so smelly, when you were being delivered, the doctor was wearing the oxygen mask.

Yo Mama's So Stupid... Penny

Yo mama's so stupid, she put a penny in a gumball machine and waited for change.

Guns 'n' Mimes

If a mime shoots you, must he use a silencer?

Female Hormones in Beer

Two men were in a pub.

One man said, "Did you know that beer contains female hormones?"

The other man said, "No! Is it true?"

"Yes," said the first man. "If you drink too much, you start talking crap and you drive terribly."

Snow Body Knows

Q. Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants?

A. He heard the snowblower coming!

Jets Fans, Beware

A guy walks into a bar with his pet dog. The bartender says, "No pets allowed."

The man replied, "This is a special dog. Turn on the Jets game and you'll see."
The bartender, anxious to see what will happen, turns on the game. The guy says, "Watch. Whenever the Jets score, my dog does flips." The Jets keep scoring field goals and the dog keeps flipping and jumping.

"Wow! That's one helluva dog you got there! What happens when the Jets score a touchdown?"

The man replied, 'I don't know. I've only had him for 7 years!'

O hell's yes

In

so in

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humm

ok let's see here

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keep on truckin

all day everyday all long

Im here to make the big bucks

in so so in

Nice

I asked same thing ealier...I want to test them out but there payment is a dollar lower then any others I use.

what

yeah

okay

300

I think that I must start posting here...

so that I can...

have at least a chance

of being one of the top postrers here...

Do you really love tcg123 ?
not me !

Pussycash ? I do some money !
more this week !

how can I win ?
You know who I am?

Tales From The Shire

Two hobbits walk into a bar where one of them picks up a barfly. They taker her to ta local motel; the first hobbit goes into the motel room while the other waits outside. Once the door closes, the hobbit on the outside hears starnge noises through the door, "I can't do it, I can't do it, I CAN'T DO IT!"
In the morning, the second hobbit askes the first, "How did it go?" The first one answers. "It was embarrassing. I simply couldn''t do it."

The second hobbit shook his head. "Manhood problems, eh?"

"No. I couldnt get on the bed!"

Highbrow Genital Jokes

My genitals are so gigantic, and yours so woefully inadequate, that evolution laughs at you and promises that your male offspring will also be cursed with your ridiculous nubbin -- thus dooming your DNA!
My genitals are so sweetly intoxicating, I was able to convince Cornel West and Camille Paglia to violently disrobe and vigorously copulate with me in a Chablis-fueled, mind-bending threesome that made the seraphim in paradise blush with a mixture of shame and desire!

My genitals are so leviathan that Ahab himself, if he were rendered a non-fictional creature, would surely stand upon his masts crows nest and lob mighty harpoons at me!

If the teaming masses were to behold my juggernaut-like genitals, surely Marx's concept of the End of History would be nigh.

My genitals are of such behemoth proportions, it is to the world of genitalia what Noam Chomsky is to the study of global activism!

My genitals are so mammoth in size, that if inches were words, my member could fill every page of one of Ayn Rand's epic Objectivist tomes!

A fine 1997 Chateau-La Cardonne Bordeaux would go well with my robust and flavorful genitals, even after the third helping!

My genitals are so bursting with sexual magnetism, I could single-handedly seduce and defile the entire lesbian population of Sarah Lawrence University!

My genitals bloat with such passionate force, that upon arousal, I barely have enough epidermis to purse my lips so that I may recite Shelley's immortal poem "Ozymandias"!

If Philip Glass wrote an ambient opera in honor of my genitals, the title of the epic collection of random notes and sounds would be "Phantasmagoric Ode To Big Dong Number Five."!

Hemingway''''s lost book about my genitals began thusly: "His organ was big."

My virility is so profoundly cosmic, that in the event that every human male were to cease to be, my limitless supplies of genetically super-human semen could impregnate the remaining female population, thus siring a perfect race of confident, and impressively endowed men!

Tired Freudian references aside - your mother played my mighty skin flute like a surf crowned sea nymph trying to rouse Poseidon from his watery slumber!

Kurt Anderson secretly admires the cultural relevancy of my genitals, which have supplied artists and writers alike the inspiration needed to create great American works, and this admiration turned to sour envy when he ignored my zippered muse and wrote that appalling "Turn of the Century" that many have mistakenly referred to as a "novel"!

So colossal are my genitals, that they compelled Stephen Hawking to theorize that my sexual gravity is such that a tablespoon of it would weigh more than an entire LA club full of amorous, cocaine-addled, Prada-clad Casanovas!

My genitals are comparable to Harvard University?s endowment - both are the largest of their kind, both are institutions that demand the respect of academics and undergraduate trollops, and both cannot be seen or used by anyone of low birth or intelligence, unless they work very hard to prove they are worthy.

Massively Kewl Knock Knock Jokes!!!

Knock, knock
Who?s there?
Sorry, wrong door.
Okay.

Knock, knock
Who?s there?
Federal Express
Federal Express who?
I don?t know. I just deliver packages.

Knock, knock
Who?s there?
Tom.
Tom who?
Tom Buchanan.
Hi Tom.

Knock knock
Who?s there?
Pizza delivery guy.
Pizza delivery guy who?
You ordered a pizza?
Yes.
I?m the guy delivering it.
Great.

Knock knock
Who?s there?
Susan.
Susan who?
Susan Caldwell.
I?ll be right out, Susan.

Knock, knock
Who?s there.
You might be a redneck if? you think tobacco is a vegetable.
You might be a redneck if? you think tobacco is a vegetable who?
I thought this was a redneck joke.
Nope. It?s a knock, knock joke.
Oops.

Knock, knock
Who?s there?
Boo
Boo who
Don?t get so upset, crybaby!
What?
Ha! Ha! I made you say ?boo-hoo?
You?re a real idiot.
That wasn?t necessary.

Knock knock
Who?s there?
Creeping penis.
Creeping penis who?
I?m not crazy, I just need to get off this island. The doctors don?t believe I invented the chocolate éclair. But I did. I?m going to burn them all and drink soup from their skulls! Happy soup! Untie me and I?ll kill you last!

Knock, knock
Yo mama
Yo mama who?
Yo mama so fat, she caught a flesh-eating virus and that was three years ago.
I bet you?re fat, huh?
I?m?
You are, aren?t you? Fat!
I?m plumpish.

Knock, knock
Who?s there?
FBI!
?
?
Hello? FBI! Let us in!
?
?nobody here?
Oh. Let?s go boys!
(Phew!)

Knock, knock
Who?s there?
There?s a dead old woman in your driveway.
There?s a dead old woman in your driveway who?
No. Seriously. There?s a dead old woman in your driveway.
Actually, that?s just my piss-drunk bar slut of a grandmother. She sells toothless mouth love for ?mind eraser? shooters at the Tyson?s Mall TGIFriday?s. Let the whore sleep it off.

Knock, knock
Who?s there?
Henry.
Henry who?
Henry Kissinger. Did you know that power is the ultimate aphrodisiac?
I?m not opening the door Henry.
Damn.

Knock, knock
Tremble mortal and despair ? it is I, THE ANGEL OF DEATH!
Tremble mortal and despair ? it is I, THE ANGEL OF DEATH who?
Actually, I?m here for Jones in #D1 but I need to take a monster crap and I hate to kill and THEN use the bathroom, you know? Its rude and the other way around, well it ruins my dramatic entrance. So?
You want to use my toilet?
Yeah?
Go right ahead.
Got anything to read?
Just the crossword.
You finished it.
Sorry?
Hold my scythe.
Hey! Don?t forget to light a match.

Why don't witches wear panties?

Why don't witches wear panties?
Better grip on the broom.

Hole in One

There was an American man that had an meeting in France. He met a woman and that night they had their own meeting. While they were where having sex, she was yelling, "TROU FAUX,TROU FAUX." He did not know what that meant, but assumed it to be some sort of praise.
The next day, he went to play golf with the men he had the meeting with. One of them made a hole in one. He yelled, "TROU FAUX,TROU FAUX !"

They looked at him and said, "what do you mean wrong hole?"

Fish Market

One day there was a blind man walking down the street and he smelled oranges, so he bought some fruit.
He smelled some pastries, so he bought some donuts.

Then he walked passed a fish market, took a hard sniff, and said, "Hello ladies!"

Upside Down Blonde

What do you call a blonde standing on her head?
A brunette with bad breath.

Picture perfect

A husband said to his wife, "I will take a photo of your breasts and frame it ."
The wife said to her husband, "I will take a photo of your penis and enlarge it."

A little boy wrote to Santa ...

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister."
Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."

Please pass the mayo

A kid came home from school and asked his dad, "Dad, I heard some kids talking about a thing called a vagina. What is a vagina, and what does it look like?"
"Well, son, before sex it looks like a beautiful unopened rose."

"Wow, what does it look like after sex?"
"Well, son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonaise?"

Thirsty whale

What did the thirsty whale do?
Bit the tail of a submarine and sucked out all the seamen.