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The 100 Most Annoying Things Of 2005....
(Credit to Retrocrush...)
100 WIKIPEDIA
The world?s best online encyclopedia?if you want to learn that Bigfoot got Hitler pregnant in 1876 while writing The Little House on The Prairie series and shooting JFK with a bullet made out of Charles Lindbergh?s teeth.
99 BOTOX
When will people realize that making your face look like droopy silly putty is hardly the most attractive cosmetic update? And what kind of trial and error did doctor?s go through before they decided to injecting botulism was a good idea?
98 ANN COULTER
I?ve got nothing against the woman?s politics, but that restraining order she filed against me is way out of line. Sorry, Ann, but if it?s in your garbage can it?s up for grabs!
97 PAYPAL
In response to Hurricane Katrina, the website Something Awful raised nearly $28,000 for the Red Cross. Paypal locked up the funds, offered to give it to The United Way, and had to refund every single donation instead of letting it go to its intended use.
96 FRED PHELPS
If this extreme homophobic Baptist preacher would read the original Hebrew scripture more carefully, he might find the exact translation of his favorite phrase is actually ?God Hates Fred!?
95 PRUSSIAN BLUE
Finally, a racist teenage singing group that?s too cute to hate! Their strategy to have non-whites who listen to their music end their misery by committing suicide might actually work!
94 ANNA NICOLE SMITH
Putting Anna on this list is a like saying lemons are sour. She lost a ton of weight with TRIMSPA, but unfortunately her special celebrity formula with souvenir razor blade and mirror isn?t available to the general public.
93 FLIGHTPLAN
A ludicrous movie about a parent who loses their annoying kid on an airplane, and actually tries to find her! 8 hours of ?Are We There Yet-free travel? is the parental equivalent of flying first class.
92 JOHNNY CASH?S DEATH
Sure, it happened 2 years ago, but it still doesn?t make it suck any less. Though he did an admirable acting job in Walk The Line, Joaquin Phoenix is no substitute. Rock on, Johnny!
91 THE LOGO CHANNEL
How can they call themselves an all-gay cable channel without a single ?Golden Girls? rerun in their lineup?
90 ANNE RICE
Finally exhausting the vampire genre, she?s moved on to writing books about 2000 year old zombies.
89 DOMINO and AEON FLUX
How could two different films about hot chicks with guns be this boring?
88 BLUETOOTH EARPIECES
Watching legions of undead corporate slaves walk around with these cellular phone Borg implants hanging out of their ears is a sad thing indeed.
87 MRS. BUTTERWORTH?S SYRUP BOTTLES
Don?t believe the commercials. She won?t talk to you no matter how rich, creamy, and buttery smooth you tell her she is.
86 IPOD ACCESSORIES
Though I can understand paying $300 for a top of the line iPod, I draw the line at paying $30 for iPod Socks to put them in! When your iPod is dressed more warmly than some homeless guy, something?s very wrong.
85 AMERICAN IDOL
Getting advice on being a star from Paula Abdul is like getting driving lessons from Lindsay Lohan.
84 MULTIPLE DVD RELEASES
Just when you think you?ve bought a nice version of your favorite film on DVD comes the ?Superbit Deluxe Gold Director?s Cut This Time We Mean It?s The Ultimate Version? making yours obsolete.
83 #3 PENCILS
Too light for Scantron tests, too dark for drafting. Oh #3 pencil, why hast thou forsaken me?
82 THE BLACK EYED PEAS
These hacks are bigger sellouts than the XBOX 360. Please enjoy their upcoming CD ?Songs That Will Be Used to Advertise Crap? next year. Also their song, "My Humps" rivals "Hollaback Girl" as one of the year's most irritating. You know, if you have lumps, you should really get a mammogram instead of bragging about them in a song.
81 MICHAEL JACKSON
How this ?alleged? child molester is allowed to walk the streets is astounding. The only CD he?ll be on anytime soon is the Meagan?s Law ROM at the local police station.
80 THE NBA DRESS CODE
What better way to improve the NBA?s image by having the players wear nice suits off the court? Ditching Ron Artest in the middle of the Nevada desert would go a lot further to win the public over.
79 DOOM: THE MOTION PICTURE
Why the never ending quest to make movies out of videogames? Before long we?ll be watching Pong:The Motion Picture.
78 MY OBESSIVE COMPULSIVE HABITS
Did I really lock my doors? I forgot to tell myself that I locked each door out loud so I?ll remember that I actually did it. Or maybe the memory of locking that door is just a dream and I really didn?t do it. Why am I wasting time writing this while my iron is burning my house down?
77 TV SHOWS THAT AREN?T ON DVD
Sometimes I wonder if I really want to live in a world that releases a ?Charles in Charge? Season 1 boxed DVD set, but keeps ?Batman? and ?WKRP In Cincinnati? in permanent legal limbo.
76 MYSPACE.COM
Because there just wasn?t enough room at Livejournal for self-obsessed attention whores to show off to the world.
75 KENNY CHESNEY
You knew his marriage to Renee Zellweger was in trouble when he booked a honeymoon getaway to Brokeback Mountain.
74 NICK AND JESSICA
1,000 years from now, archaeologists will look at our news publications and figure that this celebrity duo must have been king and queen of the world. Why anyone is interested in these empty headed no-talent morons is a mystery to all mankind. I?m against The Patriot Act, but I?d be willing to sacrifice our civil liberties a bit to permit the government to put anyone who ever bought a Jessica Simpson record on a special island and do some bomb testing. Not only would you collectively increase the nation?s IQ, but you?d stick it to Wal-Mart by getting rid of 80% of their customer base.
73 HDTV
What good is crystal clear realistic television when you?re just going to watch ?Mind of Mencia? on it? Plus the high-def face of Edward James Olmos should not be witnessed by any human being.
72 CEDRIC THE ENTERTAINER
Why hasn?t somebody sued him for false advertising yet?
71 TERRY SHIAVO HYPE
The round the clock coverage of both sides of the argument of whether or not to pull Shiavo?s feeding tube was shameful. A South Park episode in which Kenny was on life support summed it up perfectly?you can?t die with dignity with 8,000 cameras pointed at you.
70 ASHTON KUTCHER
How stupid do you have to be for this dope to pull a prank on you?
69 ORLANDO BLOOM
If he?s not a gay elf, I don?t? want to see him in an action film! Ridley Scott trading down from Russell Crowe to Orlando Bloom with his Kingdom of Heaven movie is like recasting Spartacus with Burt Ward.
68 G4
The subversive, funny, and profitable Tech TV was dismantled and merged into this horrible network, that paid $7 million for reruns of ?The Man Show? and has ratings so low, they?re frequently beaten by The Dumont Network (If you get that joke, happy 75th birthday to you!).
67 COREY CLARK
So you slept with Paula Abdul. Get in line, buddy!
66 LOWERED STANDARDS FOR CELEBRITY STATUS
Remember when being a celebrity meant having something more than a tryout for an Old Navy commercial on your resume?
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