I bet no one has ever seen these

:

Yes! Yes! Porn for the whole goddamn family! Porn for mommy, porn for daddy, even porn for little Sally and little Billy. The sad thing is, even this site says you must be over 18 to enter. If it wasn't for this little bit of false advertising, this would be the greatest porn ad ever.
Nothing kills the mood faster than the thought that this troglodyte may be masturbating to the exact same picture you are. Your ad failed, jerk. Try again later.
This is awful. What kind of inhuman slime continues to have sex with a girl even after she goes into epileptic shock? Truly one of the more sickening fetishes I've encountered. If you play music while watching this banner, her twitching almost seems to be rhythmic.
I love how he's crossing his arms, effectively communicating just how smug he is over his new endowment. But I somehow doubt that's "100% Natural". And no girl is going to let me get within 100 feet of her with that thing. Plus, shopping for pants is hard enough as it is.
Oh my god. Oh my fucking god. What porn site operator sat down and thought, "you know what gets guys REALLY hot when they turn down the lights and sit down at their computers with a box of Kleenex, fat chicks with mullets. Yep, fat chicks with mullets." This must be some niche market that this site thinks it can tap into. For the rest of us, I can't imagine anything involving that big blond behemoth being even remotely stimulating. The white horse and the lightning do give the banner a touch of class, however.
Well this here ad sure does suck. It's just words, and I ain't too good with words. Lesse here, too fast to read, something about something coming here, fat tit... OH MAH LAWD -- it's Fat Hot Mama! Now I do remember hearing about this show called The View with this here woman, but I did not know she partook in the adult entertainment. Now I sure do love "fatty tit" and I'm sure Cathy's got nice ones, but it's this enticement to see her eat coconuts whole. Now that reminds me of this one time at the state fair outside of Ft. Worth when a lonely carnie wanted to teach me about sword swallowing...
See them all here. Pretty funny:
http://www.noapologiespress.com/pbs/index.html