That's right...fuck XMAS!
It is an archaic throwback to the pre-Christian pagan era "Yule" that was adapted to be a Christian holiday so the church didn't have to torture every poor fucker in the entire western world like Easter and a few other holidays. The even changed his name to Saint Nick...what bullshit. Plus most little kids are scared shitlessof the crazy fuck and cry their asses off.
But that is not what get's my goat. It is the fact that people turn into mindless alien robots with strict orders from the mother ship to consume more goods then they can afford to feed power into the hands of the wealthy.
The worst part is the "life or death" mentality they use to get a bunch of shit they don't need, that they can't afford, for people they don't give a shit about.
I shop mostly online, But I was sucked into store shopping at the mall couple days ago. The traffic was ridiculous, I don't mean bad, or heavy...I mean break out a fucking grenade launcher and kill that slow driving old lady causing all these people to want to kill each other! Jesus Christ!
Even if you make it to the store it's a whole fucking experience. You get your cart grab a few thing, turn down a dangerously narrow aisle, and there she is Lane Blocking Lady. Does she know she can pull the cart to one side to let others get through? Or is she so self absorbed that my schedule is not even remotely thought of. Just pick a fucking color of my little pony and move on lady! I want to grab one of those fake light sabers and jam it straight up her ass and turn it on.
But I don't, I bite my lip and wait a second or two, clear my thought hoping to get her attention, then move in with the "excuse me"... Now she looks at me like I told her to fuck her mother or something! One sec Hun, she says with attitude "I'll only be a minute". You know what a minute is to an old lady? I want to go postal at this point! Finally she moves and I'm on my way. Not you get to the "end cap" this is the end of the aisle where those much anticipated items are sold, you know furbees, cabbage patch (when they were big) etc. etc.
This is an amazing sight, you've seen it on TV. Grown men rolling around on the floor wrestling toys away from each other. I though it was some sort of all male mud wrestling and grabbed my camera for the content.
After surviving the front line, you get to check out. I won't give you the usual things, like check lady, or coupon lady, or even "I have to run out to my car" guy. But for the love of all that is holy:
pay the fucking girl and get out of the way!
pay the fucking girl and get out of the way!
pay the fucking girl and get out of the way!
NO, some stand there counting their change, some making sure they got every thing, and of course the guy who thinks he was over charged but just didn't read the sign right. I like to torture that guy by shouting to him "hey how much are those?" These people are going to get jacked up someday by someone, I'm telling you. It just might be by me.
So you pay and start to walk to your car, and as you do you notice you are being shadowed by two other vehicles figuring they'll steal your spot. Know what I do? I fake me out every few cars or so pretending to put the key in the door, then walk away. This idiot was all in position to take the spot and now he's all jammed up trying to re-align. Plus I went to the next aisle so he has to quickly drive around to that side. once he's there, I go right back...big laughs. The paring is so bad that he will stick with it for a while...lol
I got a lot of complaints but feel free to add them in the mean-time.