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Dear Santa you fat fuck,
Look, I'm starting to get pissed. For tbe last FIVE GOD DAMNED years I have been politely asking you for that Real Doll.
You have ignored me.
I understand that you are busy eating (like Headless) and that alot of your time is spent ass pounding Elves. However, I have reached the end of my tether.
If you don't gimme that fucking Real Doll this year you gelatinous blob of shit, then I'm coming after you.
I will burn your fucking workshop down, rape that tub of lard you married, and feed those god damned Elves to a rabid polar bear.
I'm not fucking around here.
Thanks from your pal Jimmy.
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