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Probono · 12-14-2005, 01:30 PM

Santa Clause
North Pole, Earth

Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Elli's Office party. It was Loryn who spiked the punch with too much Hot Rum Punch. I can't help it if I drank 54 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like musk.

I thought it was funny when I put Elli's bra on my head and danced the Twisted Slouch on the sofa while singing `Twist Around the Sofa'. I didn't mean to break Elli's vibrator and don't know why Elli would accuse me of sodomy.

I don't remember calling Lensman's wife a grey hog---even though she looked like one with red eye shadow and yellow lipstick!

And when I threw up on Vanilla Deville's husband's nose, it was only because I ate too much of that Whipped Cream.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Bicycle through my neighbor's dining room. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a big moose and have me arrested for rape!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all soft and sweet. And I'm really not to blame for any of this sour stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and faster yours,
Pro (Really a nice boy!)

P.S. It's only 900 bucks!

12-14-2005, 01:30 PM
Probono Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Under the Rainbow Posts: 2,731	Santa Clause North Pole, Earth Dear Santa, I have been a good boy. It really wasn't my fault what happened at Elli's Office party. It was Loryn who spiked the punch with too much Hot Rum Punch. I can't help it if I drank 54 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like musk. I thought it was funny when I put Elli's bra on my head and danced the Twisted Slouch on the sofa while singing `Twist Around the Sofa'. I didn't mean to break Elli's vibrator and don't know why Elli would accuse me of sodomy. I don't remember calling Lensman's wife a grey hog---even though she looked like one with red eye shadow and yellow lipstick! And when I threw up on Vanilla Deville's husband's nose, it was only because I ate too much of that Whipped Cream. After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Bicycle through my neighbor's dining room. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a big moose and have me arrested for rape! So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all soft and sweet. And I'm really not to blame for any of this sour stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money! Sincerely and faster yours, Pro (Really a nice boy!) P.S. It's only 900 bucks!