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Santa Clause
North Pole, Earth
Dear Santa,
I have been a good boy.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Loryn's Office party. It was Billy who spiked the punch with too much Beer. I can't help it if I drank 69 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Sweat.
I thought it was funny when I put Loryn's thong on my head and danced the rave on the chair while singing `I'm so exicted'. I didn't mean to break Loryn's computer and don't know why Loryn would accuse me of downloading porn videos.
I don't remember calling Harrie's wife a a Donkey---even though she looked like one with brown eye shadow and blue lipstick!
And when I threw up on Miet's husband's penis, it was only because I ate too much of that spaghetti.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my alfa romeo through my neighbor's bedroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a bitch and have me arrested for Wanking!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all a and a. And I'm really not to blame for any of this a stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and a yours,
Sam (Really a nice boy!)
P.S. It's only 69 bucks!
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