Quote:
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Originally Posted by Chuck Norris
Vin Diesel... Schmin Diesel.
"Chuck Norris' dick is so big, it has it's own dick, and even Chuck Norris' dick's dick is bigger than your dick... and Vin Diesel's."
- Chuck |
Chuck, you know I'd beat your ass into a pulp. Bitch.
If you rearrange the letters in Vin Diesel it reveals his credo: "I End Lives."
Vin Diesel coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.
Crop circles are Vin's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.
When Vin Diesel was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Vin Diesel!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.
Vin Diesel has always been able to find Waldo, except for one time. He found himself stumped on the last page of Where's Waldo Now?, not being able to find the Waldo without a shoe. He threw the book down and screamed, "This is BULLSHIT!" They're all wearing shoes." He then proceeded to eat the book and exclaim, "IF I CAN'T FIND WALDO, THEN NO ONE CAN!" The book he ate belonged to a child that he had borrowed it from. The child began to cry and Vin ate him for good measure. The incident has since been refered to as Christmas. Vin Diesel is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
You are what you eat. That is why Vin Diesel's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.
Vin Diesel can divide by zero.
Vin Diesel is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.
In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Vin Diesel, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.
Vin Diesel doesn't believe in rubber condoms. Instead, he sticks his penis in a girl, and uses that girl as a condom while fucking another.