This story sucks...

Collapse
X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • Dagwolf
    President of Canada
    • Sep 2003
    • 23141

    #1

    This story sucks...

    10 minutes ago in the desert, a good looking girl named Marge was walking along, minding her own business. Marge looked and dressed like Mother Theresa. Suddenly, she saw Bevis, who was skinny and looked a little like Adolf Hitler. Bevis proceeded to steal a pretty boy's motorcycle. The boy's name was Stinky.

    "Stop, you disgusting person!" Marge yelled out. But Bevis started to run away.

    Marge chased Bevis until they both became bored. Bevis could run fast and seemed to be getting away. But then in a final great effort, Marge stopped at McDonald's to get extra energy and surprisingly caught the scoundrel!

    Stinky was so happy, that he offered to buy Marge a banjo.

    Thus ends a good story.
    Sleep well, and dream of large women.

  • Doctor Dre
    Too lazy to set a custom title
    • Jan 2001
    • 51692

    #2
    And why did you post that ?
    Originally posted by rayadp05
    I rebooted, deleted temp files, history, cookies and everything...still cannot view the news clip. All I see is that fucking gay ass music video from "Rick Roll". Anyone else have a different link to the news clip?

    Comment

    • Dagwolf
      President of Canada
      • Sep 2003
      • 23141

      #3
      CHAPTER ONE: A KNOCK AT THE DOOR

      Martha and Ramon are lounging in the greenhouse, contemplating their lost youth, when three things become apparent:

      1) An irreconcilable taxidermist loses a cage match against Freddy Krueger, and the hesitantly rapacious curse contemplates; however, the looking glass conquers some knowingly ghastly devil worshiper. While many haunchs have made their saintly shadow abhorrent to us, smalltime freaks remain lovely.

      2) A girl beyond the tenor beams with joy, and a swamp on top of a bride earns frequent flier miles; however, an unseemly debutante whistfully teaches the self-actualized virus. Sometimes a dilettante beside a snow enjoys The Dream People too much, but the adult living with a pocket always has a change of heart about the bigtime freak!

      3) He called her Audrey Horn (or was it Mitzi?). Sometimes another nay-sayer goes down to the courthouse for a marriage license, but the PR flunky always falls in love with the lickable bomb! Admittedly that last bit makes no sense but at least the first two are irrefutable iron-clad logic.

      This is all quite troubling to say the least. Ramon leaps to his feet, intent on taking action. Indeed, a mastadon living without an onlooker mournes the sodden pimple-popper.
      Sleep well, and dream of large women.

      Comment

      • Dagwolf
        President of Canada
        • Sep 2003
        • 23141

        #4
        CHAPTER TWO: NO REPLY


        Martha laughs and scolds Ramon with, "Bush Junior still goes deep sea fishing with her from an accurately polite coward, play pinochle with her the maestro over a mastadon with a botched lunatic, and accidentally recognizes the underside of her tea party. He called her Bush Junior (or was it Wench?). "

        Ramon's blood boils upon hearing those hateful words. "Oh yeah? A curmudgeonly labyrinth takes a coffee break, or a clock overhandedly gives secret financial aid to a pimple-popper on top of a toothache. Most people believe that the lounge lizard prefers the ungodly girl, but they need to remember how accurately a sea monster quibbles blatently. " This makes his view of their relationship quite clear to Martha.

        Resigned to her fate, she goes over the facts of the situation...

        A dahlia over a boy forgets, and an unsightly maestro gets stinking drunk; however, some alchemist single-handledly mournes a curmudgeonly bigtime freak. An erratic bowel from an onlooker can be kind to the infant, or another abstruse nay-sayer whistfully operates a small fruit stand with a devil worshiper.

        Ramon can only shake his head in astonishment, and declare, "A ground sturgeon living with the toothpick carelessly laughs and drinks all night with a gingerly stepping stool, because a ghastly dissident admonishes a tea party about an onlooker. He called her Jasper (or was it He Who Has No Name?). " Despite his flowery language the ugliness of Ramon's emotions seep through and wilt whatever vines still hold him in place.
        Sleep well, and dream of large women.

        Comment

        • SpaceAce
          Confirmed User
          • Jul 2002
          • 6493

          #5
          Originally posted by Dagwolf
          10 minutes ago in the desert, a good looking girl named Marge was walking along, minding her own business. Marge looked and dressed like Mother Theresa. Suddenly, she saw Bevis, who was skinny and looked a little like Adolf Hitler. Bevis proceeded to steal a pretty boy's motorcycle. The boy's name was Stinky.

          "Stop, you disgusting person!" Marge yelled out. But Bevis started to run away.

          Marge chased Bevis until they both became bored. Bevis could run fast and seemed to be getting away. But then in a final great effort, Marge stopped at McDonald's to get extra energy and surprisingly caught the scoundrel!

          Stinky was so happy, that he offered to buy Marge a banjo.

          Thus ends a good story.
          Here, try these:

          http://www.porncherry.com/cgi-bin/madlib/madlib.pl

          SpaceAce

          Comment

          • Nicky
            Too lazy to set a custom title
            • Mar 2003
            • 30071

            #6
            Originally posted by Doctor Dre
            And why did you post that ?
            And why did I read that??

            gfynicky @ gmail.com

            Comment

            • Dagwolf
              President of Canada
              • Sep 2003
              • 23141

              #7
              Originally posted by Doctor Dre
              And why did you post that ?

              It's in the spirit of the evening..
              Sleep well, and dream of large women.

              Comment

              • Dagwolf
                President of Canada
                • Sep 2003
                • 23141

                #8
                A Short Story, by Dagwolf

                It was another Boobmaster day in the Halliwell house. AnaLaura rushed down the stairs on the way to work looking for her laptop. '' Elli ''! she yelled, running into the kitchen ''Have you seen my laptop?''She stopped abrubtly as the kitchen was empty. ''Hello? Is anyone here?''. '' Elli ?'', ''Arika ? Where are you?'' Before she could do anything the door to the house slammed open to reveal a stranger wearing half a website on his head. ''Who are you?'' AnaLaura demanded ''What you you want?'' The stranger swayed from side to side, reminding AnaLaura of a drunk SHEEP. ''I am here to warn you about the ItBurnsWhenIPee that is about to devour your house'' said the stranger. ''Um thanks...'' replied AnaLaura, escorting him to the door. As she opened it a shadow loomed over the house. Looking up she saw a giant whipped cream nearing the house. She squinted at it and saw that Elli and Arika were running towards the house, covered in bits of whipped cream. 'It's going to be one of those days' thought AnaLaura as she ran forwards. The whipped cream was too far away for her to do anything to it so as Elli and Arika ran up the driveway she ushered them into the house. ''Quick'' gasped Arika as the door closed behind them ''We have to get to the Book of Shadows''. ''Have you got any idea what that thing is?'' Elli asked as they entered the attic. ''I think it's called a ItBurnsWhenIPee AnaLaura replied, leafing through the Book. ''Ah, here we go. How to banish a ItBurnsWhenIPee '' She grabbed the book and went to the window through which the whipped cream could be seen. ''Minion of scrotum depart from this Juicylinks. Leave us and OWNED to your Internext dominions. For we have the power of Grammar Police to conquer thee!''. The giant whipped cream vanished with a 'pop', spraying bits of itself all over the place. ''You know, this reminds me of the time when someone said This thread is useless without pics! "said Elli. ''What does that have to do with anything?'' asked Arika as AnaLaura looked at them. ''Nothing'' said Elli "this is all a dream anyway!''
                Sleep well, and dream of large women.

                Comment

                • Explicit
                  Confirmed User
                  • Jul 2004
                  • 814

                  #9
                  overload

                  Comment

                  Working...