Single vs dual parent families

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  • Drake
    Hello world!
    • Mar 2003
    • 12508
    #1

    Single vs dual parent families

    For those of you raised in a dual parent household with a father and mother, do you think you would be the same person you are today if you only had been raised by only one of your parents? Better or worse?

    If you were raised in a single parent household, do you think you missed out or that you have just as much as you would if you had both parents?
    Tags: None
    • kane
      Too lazy to set a custom title
      • Aug 2001
      • 20684
      #2
      my parents divorced when I was 5 and I was raised by my mom. my dad wasn't really in my life and I didn't get to know him until about 5 years ago and I found out I wasn't missing anything. My dad was a borderline alcholic and a compulsive gambler and I can say my life ( while at times hard - we were very poor growing up with my mom raising my brother and I) was much better with one parent that loved me instead of two parents that were constatnly fighting and having troubles.

      I'm sure I missed things though that regular families have. My brother is married with 3 kids and is a great dad.

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        • KRL
          Entrepreneur
          • Oct 2002
          • 31429
          #3
          I'm a single father. My ex and I get along great now though so I think that makes a big difference because our son sees us smiling and laughing etc and not showing hate or nastiness ever.

          It is very hard to deal with though because he spends half his time with her and half with me so I hate the loss of protective control and the fact I'm going to miss out being with him for half his childhood.
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            • Drake
              Hello world!
              • Mar 2003
              • 12508
              #4
              Sorry to hear that Kane. I'm glad your mom was obviously a strong woman with her head on straight to be able to raise you herself.

              My mother didn't have her father. He was also a drunk (as the story goes anyway).

              I had both parents way into my teens and they divorced at that time. There was good and bad times. It didn't surprise me that they eventually divorced. Overall they're both good people, they just have a completely different outlook on life and priorities.

              I think that I benefited from having both of them in my life for the time that I did. For that reason I've considered marriage. I don't have kids, but if I did I'd want to raise them in a 'complete' home.

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                • Drake
                  Hello world!
                  • Mar 2003
                  • 12508
                  #5
                  Originally posted by KRL
                  I'm a single father. My ex and I get along great now though so I think that makes a big difference because our son sees us smiling and laughing etc and not showing hate or nastiness ever.

                  It is very hard to deal with though because he spends half his time with her and half with me so I hate the loss of protective control and the fact I'm going to miss out being with him for half his childhood.
                  My parents don't talk to each other at all. The breakup was bad. I was old enough to deal with it. Quite frankly, it has zero affect on me what they do. They're both good people and this is the result from their actions, nothing to do with me.

                  It's great for your son that you still talk with your ex because it does set a good example of resolution, responsibility, and acceptance.

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                    • KRL
                      Entrepreneur
                      • Oct 2002
                      • 31429
                      #6
                      Originally posted by Mike33
                      My parents don't talk to each other at all. The breakup was bad. I was old enough to deal with it. Quite frankly, it has zero affect on me what they do. They're both good people and this is the result from their actions, nothing to do with me.

                      It's great for your son that you still talk with your ex because it does set a good example of resolution, responsibility, and acceptance.
                      Yeh, but it also fucks up my heart because I'm still totally attracted to her and we talk every day and see each other usually 3 times a week.

                      I can't get her out of my mind. She's gorgeous beyond belief. And now that we're divorced and getting along it sucks even more.

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                        • vixm
                          Confirmed User
                          • Sep 2004
                          • 605
                          #7
                          Would not be the same with 1 parent. Would have missed out on a lot of stuff ... for i.e. just learning stuff.
                          [sig offline]

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                            • Drake
                              Hello world!
                              • Mar 2003
                              • 12508
                              #8
                              Originally posted by KRL
                              Yeh, but it also fucks up my heart because I'm still totally attracted to her and we talk every day and see each other usually 3 times a week.

                              I can't get her out of my mind. She's gorgeous beyond belief. And now that we're divorced and getting along it sucks even more.



                              I've never heard anybody say something like that about their ex. She must be a real knockout!

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                                • Drake
                                  Hello world!
                                  • Mar 2003
                                  • 12508
                                  #9
                                  Originally posted by vixm
                                  Would not be the same with 1 parent. Would have missed out on a lot of stuff ... for i.e. just learning stuff.
                                  Which parent would you prefer to have if you could have only had one? Does the parent you choose depend on your own gender? (like would you choose your dad because he's a male like you).

                                  I agree, I would have missed out on a lot.

                                    Comment

                                    • Jakke PNG
                                      ex-TeenGodFather
                                      • Nov 2001
                                      • 20306
                                      #10
                                      I've never seen my dear-ole daddy, I don't even know who he is. I can't possibly know if I'd be a different person if I had both parents.
                                      Luckily I turned out to be a smart, handsome and well balanced individual.
                                      ..and I'm off.

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                                        • Rochard
                                          Jägermeister Test Pilot
                                          • Dec 2001
                                          • 75764
                                          #11
                                          My mother managed to stay married to my father until about a week after my brother moved out of the house at age eighteen. I moved away from home years prior to this, so I wasn't there when the marriage fell apart although I wasn't surprised in the least when it happened.

                                          I couldn't imagine trying to be a full time single parent - Just couldn't happen. How can you devote enough time to your child when there is only one of you to do everything?

                                          And furthermore.... I could never, ever imagine not having my daughter living under the same roof. When ever the need hits me I can sneak into her room, give her a kiss on the cheek, and make sure she's tucked in.
                                          Herschel Savage
                                          Brooklyn, NY

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                                            • KRL
                                              Entrepreneur
                                              • Oct 2002
                                              • 31429
                                              #12
                                              Originally posted by Mike33


                                              I've never heard anybody say something like that about their ex. She must be a real knockout!
                                              Imagine a cross between Brooke Shields, Michelle Pfeiffer, and Paulina Porizkova. She's on that level of "fine".
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                                                • BitterPen
                                                  Confirmed User
                                                  • Sep 2004
                                                  • 1926
                                                  #13
                                                  My parents were divorced when I was 3 years old and got remarried when I was 13, so I might be able to answer on both sides; then again, my response might be jaded due to the many years of seperation.

                                                  My mom and I were very happy as a twosome. Money was tight, but we got by. I was more responsible than the average child, as she worked a lot, so I was left to do more than most kids. I tended to appreciate the little things much more than my friends did.

                                                  When my parents got back together, I rebelled. I had 2 people to answer to, rather than 1. My responsibilities lessened because of the extra time my mother had to help around the house. And even though we had more money, it didn't make the quality of living any better. I still loved the little things, but I rarely got them. The little things became less important.

                                                  I think my take on single vs. married is simply skewed due to the long seperation in the middle. I am now married with two children, and I am positive that 2 parents are better in the long run. I can't imagine how lonely it must have been for my mother for that decade.


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                                                    • kane
                                                      Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                      • Aug 2001
                                                      • 20684
                                                      #14
                                                      Originally posted by Mike33
                                                      Sorry to hear that Kane. I'm glad your mom was obviously a strong woman with her head on straight to be able to raise you herself.

                                                      My mother didn't have her father. He was also a drunk (as the story goes anyway).

                                                      I had both parents way into my teens and they divorced at that time. There was good and bad times. It didn't surprise me that they eventually divorced. Overall they're both good people, they just have a completely different outlook on life and priorities.

                                                      I think that I benefited from having both of them in my life for the time that I did. For that reason I've considered marriage. I don't have kids, but if I did I'd want to raise them in a 'complete' home.
                                                      many of my friends and my brother are married with kids and they have good familiy lives ( good marriges etc ) so it's great for thier kids. But I also know from my past families where the kids had both parents who constantly fought and there was constant anger in the house and it caused them some problems. I'm not a big proponant of marrige, but I think, if possible having both parents around is what is best for the kids if the parents can maintain a good relationship.

                                                      I was lucky. My mom was strong and raised my brother and I with a strong work ethic ( it would have been easy for her to go on welfare or something but she never did, sometimes working 2 jobs to make ends meet ) she was also involved in our lives. Many single parents work so much that they end up not being around for the kids and the kids end up in trouble or having problems and my mom always made time for us no matter how tired she was. So when I look back on it I can say that I was a very lucky person and many people are not so lucky. I didn't have much of anything growing up but I knew I was loved, I was taught to respect people and work hard for what I wanted and it really has helped me out in the long run.
                                                      Last edited by kane; 10-25-2004, 01:52 AM.

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                                                        • baddog
                                                          So Fucking Banned
                                                          • Apr 2001
                                                          • 107089
                                                          #15
                                                          dual parent, and would it be different? I certainly think so, since it would have been tough to be the eldest of 12 kids if they divorced, so no, I don't think I would be the same person if I came from a single parent family

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                                                            • tical
                                                              Confirmed User
                                                              • Feb 2002
                                                              • 6504
                                                              #16
                                                              Originally posted by KRL
                                                              Imagine a cross between Brooke Shields, Michelle Pfeiffer, and Paulina Porizkova. She's on that level of "fine".
                                                              Imagine some pix!
                                                              112.020.756

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                                                                • baddog
                                                                  So Fucking Banned
                                                                  • Apr 2001
                                                                  • 107089
                                                                  #17
                                                                  Originally posted by TeenGodFather
                                                                  I've never seen my dear-ole daddy, I don't even know who he is. I can't possibly know if I'd be a different person if I had both parents.
                                                                  Luckily I turned out to be a smart, handsome and well balanced individual.
                                                                  and modest, don't forget modest.

                                                                    Comment

                                                                    • tical
                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                      • Feb 2002
                                                                      • 6504
                                                                      #18
                                                                      dual processor familes are way better at solving complex math problems and spamming
                                                                      112.020.756

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