tell me a joke

http://www.ifilm.com/player/?ifilmId...ize=default%22

Say knock knock.

knock knock

Osama's Inter-Cave Memo

From: Bin Laden, Osama
Sent: Monday, October 4, 2005 8:17 AM
To: Cavemates

Subject: The Cave

Hi guys.

We've all been putting in long hours recently but we've really come together as a group and I love that. However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave. And frankly I have a few concerns -

First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we should be even more concerned about the dust in our cave. We want to avoid excessive dust inhalation, (a health and safety issue) - so we need to sweep the cave daily, I've done my bit on the cleaning rota........ have you? I've posted a sign-up sheet near the cave reception area (next to the halal toaster).

Second, it's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to scare most of the world population, okay? That means that while we're taping, please do not ride your scooter in the background or keep doing the 'Wassup'thing. Thanks.

Third: Food. I bought a box of Dairylea recently, clearly wrote
"Ossy" on the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, two of my Dairylea slices were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying.

Fourth: I'm not against team chanting and all that, but, we must distance ourselves from the Westerner's bat and ball games...it's just not cricket. Please do not chant "Ossy Ossy Ossy, Oy Oy Oy" every time I ride past on the donkey. Thanks

Five: Graffitti:Whoever wrote Ossie fucks donkeys! on the group toilet wall please clean it off...it's a lie anyway, the donkey backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain.

Six: The use of chickens, is strictly for food. Assam, the old excuse that the "chicken backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain" will not be accepted in future. Bestiality with non halal chicken is forbidden...there is a grey area with donkeys however.

Finally, we've heard that there may be Western soldiers in disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. First patrol will be Omar, Muhammad, Abdul, Akbar,Hammed and Dave.

Love you lots, Group Hug.
Death to infidels,
Os.

PS - I'm sick of having Osama's Bed Linen scribbled on my sheets -
Cut it out Abdul, it's not funny anymore.

Who's there?

michael jackson just called and said to get your gimp ass back in the box...

Wife answers door to stranger

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A wife answers the door bell and a man asks her, "Lady, do you have a vagina?" and she slams the door shut. The next day the wife answers the door bell and its the same guy and he asks her, "Lady, do you have a vagina?" and she slams the door shut.
The woman tells her husband about the guy and he says he will stay home from work the next day and this time she should tell the man she has a vagina and see what happens. The door bell rings, the woman answers the door, the man asks, "Lady do you have a vagina?" to which she says, "Yes, I do."
The man then tells her, "Well then tell your husband to make use of it and stay away from my wife."