Earlier this week I had the wonderful experience of spending 12 hours in the Monroe County Indiana jail.
Here is what happened:
I was sitting in a local bar, the "Video Saloon" with two of my models, kicking back and having a few drinks after a shoot. It was like midnight or so and we were all three pretty tanked.
I get up to go piss and when I return some moron, lets call him "Hank" has sat down at our table and is pretty busy chatting up the girls. He looks like hes drank a gallon of whiskey and THEY look like Jesus has miraculously turned their margaritas into cat piss.
I swear to God I tried to be polite. I sat down and did my best to get rid of him without drama. He fucking STUNK. Not just like booze, but like unwashed redneck ass.
I gave it about two minutes and then finally asked him to leave. He was at first, reasonable and got up and started to walk away. We were all three relieved.
I dunno what went through his whiskey addled brain but he turned around and started to get shitty.
It all just went downhill from there.
To make a long story short, we exchanged a few insults and profanities.
I think the comment I made about him needing to go stand under a fire hydrant upset him.
He SPAT on me.
So, I, being the gentle teddy bear I am; broke his fucking nose. I mean BROKE it hardcore. It like splattered and shit.
We were both arrested for battery, D felonies. His was "assault with bodily fluid".
In this jurisdiction you have to stay in jail for 12 hours on a battery charge wether you have bail or not. I did, and the girls picked me up at noon or so the next day.
Soon after I had gotten to jail, they dropped mine to an A misdemeanor, then when I went to court the next day and saw my paperwork they had reduced it again to a B misdemeanor.
When my Lawyer entered a plea of Not Guilty the prosecutor dismissed the charges and I walked.
As far as I know "Hank" is still sitting there because he was on the docket with me and has a bail reduction hearing next week.
Moral: Always carry at LEAST a grand of cash in case you have to bail out, and ALWAYS show up to court with a lawyer. When attempting to break a nose, hit it square on.
Flame away.
Here is what happened:
I was sitting in a local bar, the "Video Saloon" with two of my models, kicking back and having a few drinks after a shoot. It was like midnight or so and we were all three pretty tanked.
I get up to go piss and when I return some moron, lets call him "Hank" has sat down at our table and is pretty busy chatting up the girls. He looks like hes drank a gallon of whiskey and THEY look like Jesus has miraculously turned their margaritas into cat piss.
I swear to God I tried to be polite. I sat down and did my best to get rid of him without drama. He fucking STUNK. Not just like booze, but like unwashed redneck ass.
I gave it about two minutes and then finally asked him to leave. He was at first, reasonable and got up and started to walk away. We were all three relieved.
I dunno what went through his whiskey addled brain but he turned around and started to get shitty.
It all just went downhill from there.
To make a long story short, we exchanged a few insults and profanities.
I think the comment I made about him needing to go stand under a fire hydrant upset him.
He SPAT on me.
So, I, being the gentle teddy bear I am; broke his fucking nose. I mean BROKE it hardcore. It like splattered and shit.
We were both arrested for battery, D felonies. His was "assault with bodily fluid".
In this jurisdiction you have to stay in jail for 12 hours on a battery charge wether you have bail or not. I did, and the girls picked me up at noon or so the next day.
Soon after I had gotten to jail, they dropped mine to an A misdemeanor, then when I went to court the next day and saw my paperwork they had reduced it again to a B misdemeanor.
When my Lawyer entered a plea of Not Guilty the prosecutor dismissed the charges and I walked.
As far as I know "Hank" is still sitting there because he was on the docket with me and has a bail reduction hearing next week.
Moral: Always carry at LEAST a grand of cash in case you have to bail out, and ALWAYS show up to court with a lawyer. When attempting to break a nose, hit it square on.
Flame away.
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