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All losses are hard to deal with. Professional help is the best way to go, and just feeling that you need help to cope with it is the best sign to seek out somebody to help out. It'll do you a world of good, I'm sure. Your friend had to be going through a lot of pain to make a choice like that one, and one has to accept that for some people, it just gets too hard, sadly. It's not something "selfish", it's not something somebody does in an attempt to be "selfish". It's very easy to see the shore when you're on firm land, much different when you're the one drowning. Take care, okay?
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