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power182 · 08-30-2005, 04:56 PM

Apache Junction Barbie
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, bowie knife, a
78 El Camino with dark tinted windows, and a meth lab kit. This model is
only available after dark and can only be bought with cash, preferably
small bills, unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are
talking about.

Ahwatukee Barbie
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer
H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card set, and country
club membership. Also available are Shallow Ken and Private School
Skipper. Ahwatukee Barbie hasn't been affordable since the early 80's.

Chandler Barbie
This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar
minivan and matching gym suit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time
occupation or secondary education. Traffic-jamming cell phone sold
separately. Can swear in English or Spanish. Available at Target.

Flagstaff Barbie
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair,
archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and Birkenstocks with white
socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow." She does not want or
need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Flagstaff Barbies and the optional
Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker for free.

Gilbert Barbie
Is pregnant, drives a new Ford Excursion and is perfect in every way.
We don't know who Ken is because he's always away hunting or in Japan on
business. Gilbert Barbie aspires to become Scottsdale Barbie.
Not cheap, but still very naive.

Goodyear Barbie
This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own
high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased
Beer-Gut Ken out of Mesa Barbie's (disconti nued) house. Her ensemble
includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, strawberry lip
gloss, and a see-through halter top. Comes with Barbie's dream
doublewide trailer. Available at Wal-Mart. Cheap.

Guadalupe Barbie
This Spanish-speaking-only Barbie comes with a 1984 Toyota with expired
temporary plates and three babies in the back without car seats. This
is the only Barbie who is willing to do manual labor. Ken comes in a
meat-packer's uniform and is missing three fingers on his left hand.
Green cards are not yet available for Guadalupe Barbie or Ken.
Available at Food City.

Mesa Barbie
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too
small, a classic Metallica shirt, and Tweety Bird tattoo on her
shoulder. Wants to major in NASCAR at MCC. She has a six-pack of
Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet
and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup
truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely
free. Available at Ross.

Phoenix Barbie
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional
accessories include a G.E.D. and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his '79
Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition
of the infant.

Sedona Barbie
This collagen injected, rhinoplastic (nose job) Barbie wears leopard
print spandex, and drinks cosmopolitans to new age music with friends
at the lodge. Into crystals. Comes with percocet perscription and two
alimony checks. Also cheap.

Scottsdale Barbie
This princess Barbie is only sold at Scottsdale Fashion Square. She
comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, a
long-haired foreign lapdog named Honey, and a cookie-cutter dreamhouse
with a saguaro cactus in front. Available with or without tummy tuck
and face lift. Workaholic ex-husband Ken comes with squeeze-me Skipper
and a Ferrari.

Tucson Barbie
Into basketball and marijuana. Dropped out of PCC. Does nothing but
complain about Phoenix Barbie.

Sun City Barbie/Ken
These dolls are going fast! Well, what we mean is they're old and don't
have much time left. Both write checks for everything or pay in change,
and can provide hours of endless repetitive conversation about "The
good ol' days." Drives a golf cart, signals right to turn left. Can be
seen in Barbie Grocery Store (sold separately) arguing over prices.
Available at the doctor's office.

Van Buren Barbie/Ken
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by
simply adding or subtracting the "snap-on" parts.

08-30-2005, 04:56 PM
power182 Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 136	All you need to know about AZ towns Apache Junction Barbie This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, bowie knife, a 78 El Camino with dark tinted windows, and a meth lab kit. This model is only available after dark and can only be bought with cash, preferably small bills, unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about. Ahwatukee Barbie This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card set, and country club membership. Also available are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. Ahwatukee Barbie hasn't been affordable since the early 80's. Chandler Barbie This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar minivan and matching gym suit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation or secondary education. Traffic-jamming cell phone sold separately. Can swear in English or Spanish. Available at Target. Flagstaff Barbie This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow." She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Flagstaff Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker for free. Gilbert Barbie Is pregnant, drives a new Ford Excursion and is perfect in every way. We don't know who Ken is because he's always away hunting or in Japan on business. Gilbert Barbie aspires to become Scottsdale Barbie. Not cheap, but still very naive. Goodyear Barbie This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Mesa Barbie's (disconti nued) house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, strawberry lip gloss, and a see-through halter top. Comes with Barbie's dream doublewide trailer. Available at Wal-Mart. Cheap. Guadalupe Barbie This Spanish-speaking-only Barbie comes with a 1984 Toyota with expired temporary plates and three babies in the back without car seats. This is the only Barbie who is willing to do manual labor. Ken comes in a meat-packer's uniform and is missing three fingers on his left hand. Green cards are not yet available for Guadalupe Barbie or Ken. Available at Food City. Mesa Barbie This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a classic Metallica shirt, and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. Wants to major in NASCAR at MCC. She has a six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free. Available at Ross. Phoenix Barbie This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a G.E.D. and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his '79 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant. Sedona Barbie This collagen injected, rhinoplastic (nose job) Barbie wears leopard print spandex, and drinks cosmopolitans to new age music with friends at the lodge. Into crystals. Comes with percocet perscription and two alimony checks. Also cheap. Scottsdale Barbie This princess Barbie is only sold at Scottsdale Fashion Square. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign lapdog named Honey, and a cookie-cutter dreamhouse with a saguaro cactus in front. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic ex-husband Ken comes with squeeze-me Skipper and a Ferrari. Tucson Barbie Into basketball and marijuana. Dropped out of PCC. Does nothing but complain about Phoenix Barbie. Sun City Barbie/Ken These dolls are going fast! Well, what we mean is they're old and don't have much time left. Both write checks for everything or pay in change, and can provide hours of endless repetitive conversation about "The good ol' days." Drives a golf cart, signals right to turn left. Can be seen in Barbie Grocery Store (sold separately) arguing over prices. Available at the doctor's office. Van Buren Barbie/Ken This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the "snap-on" parts.