I'm in the mood for a giggle

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  • Sarah_Jayne
    Now with more Jayne
    • Dec 2002
    • 40077

    #1

    I'm in the mood for a giggle

    if you have a joke, post em..if not just enjoy.

    Me first:

    A rather confident young man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive young woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

    The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"

    "No," he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was testing it."

    Intrigued, the woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"

    "It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains.

    "What's it telling you now?", she asks.

    "Well, it says that you're not wearing any panties...".

    The woman giggles & replies, "Well it must be broken then, because I am wearing panties!"

    The man exclaims, "Damn-- this thing must be an hour fast!".
  • bjjb
    Have laptop will travel
    • Mar 2004
    • 13074

    #2

    Comment

    • Project-Shadow
      Confirmed User
      • Feb 2003
      • 7340

      #3
      Heh,

      The bartender was washing his glasses, and an elderly Irishman came in and with great difficulty, hoisted his bad leg over the barstool, pulled himself up painfully, asked for a sip of Irish whiskey. The Irishman looked down the bar and said, "Is that Jesus down there?" The bartender nodded and the Irishman told him to give Jesus an Irish whiskey also.
      The next patron was an ailing Italian with a hunched back and slowness of movement. He shuffled up to the barstool and asked for a glass of Chianti. He also looked down the bar and asked if that was Jesus sitting down there. The bartender nodded and the Italian said to give Him a glass of Chianti also.

      The third patron, a redneck, swaggered in dragging his knuckles on the floor and hollered. "Barkeep, set me up a cold one. Hey, is that God's Boy down there?" The barkeep nodded, and the redneck told him to give Jesus a cold one too.

      As Jesus got up to leave, he walked over to the Irishman and touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!" The Irishman felt the strength come back to his leg, and he got up and danced a jig to the door.

      Jesus touched the Italian and said, "For your kindness you are healed!" The Italian felt his back straighten and he raised his hands above his head and did a flip out the door.

      As Jesus walked toward the redneck, the redneck jumped back and exclaimed, "Don't touch me, I'm drawin' disability!"

      Comment

      • TheLegacy
        SEO RobertWarrenSEO.com
        • Apr 2003
        • 18244

        #4
        Baby seal walks into a club

        RobertWarrenSEO.com
        Telegram: @TheLegacy54

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        • skyechase
          Confirmed User
          • Aug 2004
          • 510

          #5
          Argument About Sex


          A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more.
          The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?"
          "That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered. "Think about this... When your ear itches and you put your little finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, which feels better-your ear or your finger?


          Busy Bulls

          A man takes his wife to the stock show. They start heading down the alley that had the bulls. They come up to the first bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "He mated 50 times in a year, you could learn from him."
          They proceed to the next bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated 65 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "This one mated 65 times last year. That is over 5 times a month. You can learn from this one, also."

          They proceeded to the last bull and his sign said: "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife's mouth drops open and says, "WOW! He mated 365 times last year. That is ONCE A DAY!!! You could really learn from this one."

          The man turns to his wife and says, "Go up and see if it was 365 times with the same cow."


          Skye
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          • fr33s3x
            Confirmed User
            • Apr 2003
            • 5064

            #6
            great jokes

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            • Sarah_Jayne
              Now with more Jayne
              • Dec 2002
              • 40077

              #7
              Originally posted by TheLegacy
              Baby seal walks into a club
              so wrong

              Comment

              • NoEngrish
                Confirmed User
                • Sep 2004
                • 364

                #8
                hehe

                Comment

                • Manowar
                  jellyfish  
                  • Dec 2003
                  • 71528

                  #9
                  Originally posted by sarah_webinc
                  if you have a joke, post em..if not just enjoy.

                  Me first:

                  A rather confident young man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive young woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

                  The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"

                  "No," he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was testing it."

                  Intrigued, the woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"

                  "It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains.

                  "What's it telling you now?", she asks.

                  "Well, it says that you're not wearing any panties...".

                  The woman giggles & replies, "Well it must be broken then, because I am wearing panties!"

                  The man exclaims, "Damn-- this thing must be an hour fast!".

                  Comment

                  • longbrick
                    Confirmed User
                    • Aug 2004
                    • 913

                    #10
                    This is a Russian Anekdote

                    4 elephants are walking when they see a mamonth passing by, so they didnt appreciate the way he looked at them and started kicking the mamonths ass, even tying his trunk in a knot, and leave. a few minutes later the mamonth gets up all dizzy and says "fuck those damn skinheads"

                    Porn Site Reviews

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                    • donnie
                      Confirmed User
                      • Jan 2003
                      • 1630

                      #11
                      Originally posted by longbrick
                      This is a Russian Anekdote

                      4 elephants are walking when they see a mamonth passing by, so they didnt appreciate the way he looked at them and started kicking the mamonths ass, even tying his trunk in a knot, and leave. a few minutes later the mamonth gets up all dizzy and says "fuck those damn skinheads"

                      Comment

                      • block
                        Confirmed User
                        • Jan 2004
                        • 1258

                        #12
                        Originally posted by longbrick
                        This is a Russian Anekdote

                        4 elephants are walking when they see a mamonth passing by, so they didnt appreciate the way he looked at them and started kicking the mamonths ass, even tying his trunk in a knot, and leave. a few minutes later the mamonth gets up all dizzy and says "fuck those damn skinheads"


                        Gonna tell that jokes sometime... Nice one.

                        ICQ - 19961769

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                        • Basic_man
                          Programming King Pin
                          • Oct 2003
                          • 27360

                          #13
                          rolf
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                          • Alltopnotch
                            Confirmed User
                            • May 2004
                            • 2845

                            #14
                            what do a pizza delivery man and a gynocologist have in common???
























                            they can both smell it but they can't eat it.
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                            • WickedVenus
                              Confirmed User
                              • Aug 2004
                              • 3877

                              #15
                              no offense to blondes here, just love this joke.

                              Ok there was this blonde in a row boat in the mojave desert rowing away. This other blonde in a car pulls up next to her and says " you know what its blondes like you that make us look dumb. if I could swim I would swim over there and kick your ass"
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                              • Sarah_Jayne
                                Now with more Jayne
                                • Dec 2002
                                • 40077

                                #16
                                Originally posted by WickedVenus
                                no offense to blondes here, just love this joke.

                                Ok there was this blonde in a row boat in the mojave desert rowing away. This other blonde in a car pulls up next to her and says " you know what its blondes like you that make us look dumb. if I could swim I would swim over there and kick your ass"

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                                • myjah
                                  Back in the harbor
                                  • Sep 2003
                                  • 11482

                                  #17
                                  These are great. Just what I needed this morning.
                                  VP of Marketing
                                  AVN Media Network
                                  Skype: AVNJill
                                  [email protected]

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                                  • TrumpCash_Dave
                                    Its almost time
                                    • Dec 2002
                                    • 13009

                                    #18

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                                    • Grammar Police
                                      So Fucking Banned
                                      • Feb 2004
                                      • 727

                                      #19
                                      I'm in the mood for a giggle too. Turn on your webcam and let us watch you try to squeeze into size 3 jeans.

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                                      • LaurieX
                                        Confirmed User
                                        • Feb 2003
                                        • 1541

                                        #20
                                        http://www.funnyjunk.com/pages/cat/html
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                                        Aim LaurieX

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                                        • xclusive
                                          Too lazy to set a custom title
                                          • Apr 2004
                                          • 35218

                                          #21
                                          Well if you wanna giggle i'll just show you my penis girls always seem to laugh at it...

                                          I support MediumPimpin.com / Shemp's Outlawtgp.com /


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                                          • chase
                                            Confirmed User
                                            • Jul 2004
                                            • 6019

                                            #22
                                            Originally posted by Grammar Police
                                            I'm in the mood for a giggle too. Turn on your webcam and let us watch you try to squeeze into size 3 jeans.
                                            Sounds like fun.....you first!
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                                            • mcp_catman
                                              Confirmed User
                                              • Aug 2004
                                              • 131

                                              #23
                                              Jesus and Moses were up in (whereever the fuck they are) sitting by a lake...

                                              Jesus Said: I wonder if we still have the mojo.
                                              Moses replied: I'm sure we do let try something with this lake..
                                              Jesus said: Ok you first...

                                              Moses stands up and parts the lake in two with his staff...

                                              Jesus said: Niiice bro, now put it back before my dad sees and gets pissed..
                                              Moses replied: Ok, now you...
                                              Jesus said: hmmmm, a lake of wine? naaaah... I know....

                                              Jesus lifted up his robe and walked out onto the water, by the time he get half way out he starts to sink....

                                              Jesus yells: moses help I can't swim!!!!

                                              Moses parts the lake and Jesus walks ashore...

                                              Moses says: WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?
                                              Jesus replied: I forgot... That last time I did that I didn't have holes in my feet....
                                              Last edited by mcp_catman; 09-08-2004, 09:31 AM.

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                                              • Sarah_Jayne
                                                Now with more Jayne
                                                • Dec 2002
                                                • 40077

                                                #24
                                                Originally posted by Grammar Police
                                                I'm in the mood for a giggle too. Turn on your webcam and let us watch you try to squeeze into size 3 jeans.

                                                honey, I said giggle, not wet dream.

                                                Comment

                                                • EpicLisa
                                                  Confirmed User
                                                  • Aug 2004
                                                  • 305

                                                  #25
                                                  those were great! thanks for sharing
                                                  PIMPDOG ROCKS MY WORLD!!



                                                  [email protected]

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                                                  • momo
                                                    Confirmed User
                                                    • Aug 2003
                                                    • 245

                                                    #26
                                                    lol

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                                                    • chase
                                                      Confirmed User
                                                      • Jul 2004
                                                      • 6019

                                                      #27
                                                      Originally posted by mcp_catman
                                                      Jesus and Moses were up in (whereever the fuck they are) sitting by a lake...

                                                      Jesus Said: I wonder if we still have the mojo.
                                                      Moses replied: I'm sure we do let try something with this lake..
                                                      Jesus said: Ok you first...

                                                      Moses stands up and parts the lake in two with his staff...

                                                      Jesus said: Niiice bro, now put it back before my dad sees and gets pissed..
                                                      Moses replied: Ok, now you...
                                                      Jesus said: hmmmm, a lake of wine? naaaah... I know....

                                                      Jesus lifted up his robe and walked out onto the water, by the time he get half way out he starts to sink....

                                                      Jesus yells: moses help I can't swim!!!!

                                                      Moses parts the lake and Jesus walks ashore...

                                                      Moses says: WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?
                                                      Jesus replied: I forgot... That last time I did that I didn't have holes in my feet....
                                                      Very very funny!
                                                      Need Hosting? Reality Check Network services me purrrfectly!

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                                                      • jhauser
                                                        Confirmed User
                                                        • Dec 2002
                                                        • 2924

                                                        #28
                                                        Hump day humor love it!
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