And for fucks sake, I'm an American anyways. I came here for the women.
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I only know one Canadian woman and she's hot -- but not worth living in Canada!
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We may as well just give this fucking $$$ away!</a>Comment
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for the most part, most of the canadian posts have consisted of either hockey, beer, cars, canadian flags, their strong economy, beautiful scenery, or their huge accomplishment during wwII like 50 years ago. other than that it doesn't seem like canada has really progressed as a country... except for those things.Comment
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Why can't you people just face it?
Canada sucks assComment
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Originally posted by cherrylula
Why can't you people just face it?
Canada sucks ass
In a train car there were a Canadian, an American, a spectacular looking blonde and a frightfully awful looking fat lady. After several minutes of the trip the train happens to pass through a dark tunnel, and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard. When they leave the tunnel, the American had a big red slap mark on his cheek.
The blonde thought - "That American son of a bitch wanted to touch me and by mistake, he must have put his hand on the fat lady, who in turn must have slapped his face."
The fat lady thought - "This dirty old American laid his hands on the blonde and she smacked him".
The American thought - "That bastard Canadian put his hand on that blonde and by mistake she slapped me".
The Canadian thought - "I hope there's another tunnel soon so I can smack that stupid American again".Comment
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you actually expect any Canadians to read that? we're too busy trying to brew tastier beer, exploit our free healthcare, and reinforce our igloos ;)Originally posted by [Labret]
My dislike of Canadians began in college. Prior to that I had never met a Canadian. Living in Washington State (or as some insist, Palestine) I had probably ran into a couple, but I had probably mistakenly assumed that the speech impediment and the eyes that set too far apart were a result of some inbreeding by the residents of Tumwater. A whole community of inbreeders. But I digress...
At the beginning of the fall semester, 3 girls (1 semiattractive, 2 buffalo) moved in across from us in our apartment complex. In retrospect I should have viewed what came next as a warning of what was to come. Before they did anything else, like build a nest for burrowing into at night, or shaving, they installed the prerequisite Canadian flag.
No big whoop I thought, exchange students.
Being Canadian they immediately began drinking, and I dont mean drinking, I mean DRINKING... it even startled me at first. Hell, I even thought it was a admirable trait... at first. And soon after one of my friends began banging one of the water buffalo, and another friend started procreating with the half decent one that had a voice as deep as a mans. unnerving.
It was right about now that I began to realize the massive chip that rests on all Canadians shoulders.
I saw someone ask them if they were Americans.
With their reaction you may very well have assumed he had just told them that he had just returned from raping their grandmothers, or the elders of the herd.
We all laughed at their reaction and were subsequently thrown out of their apartment. oh no. But not before I could streal some of their hay. But thats a whole different story.
Soon we began taunting them because we knew it got a reaction out of them. Sometimes very violent. We soon learned that the worse thing you can call a Canadian, is an American. They would sit around and moo about how Canada was great and that there was lots of grazing space and the sun felt good when it fell upon their coats. And of course each and every time we would inform them of the greatness of America, their basic Canadian education prevented them from arguing with us. So in true Canadian style they resorted to more drinking and violence... and we all got thrown out of the barn again.
This went on for a couple months before we started feeling like it was our patriotic duty to get them deported or at least make them voluntarily leave. So began the campaign.
Really, shouldnt use the word "campaign", it was much simpler to achieve than we had hoped.
I installed key trappers on their computers and had it email me the logs every night. And every night like clockwork, we had a fresh batch of boyfriend trouble, family trouble, school trouble, and best of all... lots of good ol fashioned Canuck inferiority induced American bashing sent to the herd back home.
We saved it up until we could see some patters and establish some good story lines... who was who, what was what, and then we began systematically emailing it to everyone they knew. What? Your boyfriend didnt know you were fucking someone else? He does now. Your American History professor doesnt know that you dislike Americans as much as you dislike bathing? He does now. Parents didnt know you liked to give blowjobs at parties... they... do ... now.
The devastation was swift and yielded almost instant results. One girl was back in the cattle car headed for home within a couple days. The remaining two didnt last much longer.
America was safe.
Jump ahead a couple years.
I am doing a year in Helsinki Finland as part of an exchange program.
Guess who else was there?
Canadians. Somehow they had scraped up enough money to send a few.
And the drinking begins.
I became friends with this kid named Neil, he was cool as hell, he couldnt help it he was Canadian. We would get piss drunk almost every night.
I decided to try my theory out on Neil and the rest of the herd. Sure enough, when asked if they were Americans, the reaction ranged from disbelief to horror and rage.
I also noticed that everything they had with them, or took with them on outings, had Canadian flags on them. I mean EVERYTHING. So I ask... "why all the Canadian flags Neil?" "So nobody will mistake me for being an American Labret." Yeah, god forbid someone mistake you belonging to the worlds largest super power... whatever turns your crank Neil.
And sure enough, everywhere we went, if another Canuck was within 5 miles, they would run over happy to see a fellow member of the herd. It was fun watching them sniff each other.
One night we were at a bar and several Finns joined us. I dont know why the Finns decided to start bashing Canada, maybe they know something we dont, but they did. In broken english, the Finns went on a rampage. Within 5 minutes Neil was crying. Seriously, crying. I felt bad, Neil was an ok guy, he couldnt help where he was from. He just didnt understand what all the hatred was aboot.
Canadians have a chip on their shoulder. A HUGE one. They live in the shadow of their big brother and it kills them. They get no recognition from the rest of the world. All they want it to be recognized... thats why they always use the "we are the best, the jewnited nations says so"... bleh bleh bleh. And when they get recognition, they are confused with Americans. Which REALLY kills them.
Nothing infuriates a Canadian more than confusing him with his Superior. Its fun, try it out.we'll miss you our friend. RIPComment
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Too true - I dont know why this is but it is very true, must have something to do with the way that Canada tries to represent itself - as a whole world country, a melting pot, when in reality it is not - this only exists in the larger city of Toronto and maybe Vancouver, but no where else - the rest of Canada is isolated and full of small town sensibilities.Originally posted by [Labret]
Canadians have a chip on their shoulder. A HUGE one. They live in the shadow of their big brother and it kills them. They get no recognition from the rest of the world. All they want it to be recognized... thats why they always use the "we are the best, the jewnited nations says so"... bleh bleh bleh. And when they get recognition, they are confused with Americans. Which REALLY kills them.
Nothing infuriates a Canadian more than confusing him with his Superior. Its fun, try it out.
I think that the only thing the average Canadian hates more than Americans is the city of Toronto - which is where I'm from - that is even stranger than the Canadian US thing, but hey we're Canucks so go figure.Comment
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Really? Why is that?
I have been to Toronto within the last year, and it appeared quite clean and safe.
Its only drawback were all the Canadians.Comment
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Hello all Jive's in the house! sure I'm a Canadian! and it's good old Canada day again this year! I don't care for the grumps on here nor do I care actually.. I don't throw stones at any Country
period.. it's darn ignorant and a bad act your playing.. be happy your not stuck in a poor 3rd world affair? think about next time
your waking up, opening your eyes and what you put in your mouths next time..? theres not much choice stuck in poverity.
anyways I see some chanting for Canadians well all the best to you all.. Party on.. "Jive"Comment
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Thanks for stopping by.Comment
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i think i know you: are you jive from accounting?Originally posted by Jive
Hello all Jive's in the house! sure I'm a Canadian! and it's good old Canada day again this year! I don't care for the grumps on here nor do I care actually.. I don't throw stones at any Country
period.. it's darn ignorant and a bad act your playing.. be happy your not stuck in a poor 3rd world affair? think about next time
your waking up, opening your eyes and what you put in your mouths next time..? theres not much choice stuck in poverity.
anyways I see some chanting for Canadians well all the best to you all.. Party on.. "Jive"we'll miss you our friend. RIPComment
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I never new all this time Hungry you were Canadian too? wow!
JIVE here.. I notice some of your designs as well are looking pretty good! I'llkeep you in mind..I'm launching some stuff shortly
have a good canada day.. and veryone else on here too!
I gotta make sure I got enough frosty's in the Fridge.. l8ter..
Gone Jiven..Comment
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I'm glad I'm canadian because americans are being ripped off. For example. Everyone knows that ISP's run monopolies. Take AT&T Broadband. If you live in California, Florida, Minnesota, Michigan, Virginia, Mass., Maine, Wisconsin, and I think there are a couple more, you would know that You have to get AT&T if you want cable internet. That's fine, except they charge $49.95/m for 1.5 Mb/s down and 300Kb/s up. Not to mentions horrible service. The techs are retarded but that's because they're americans. Now, if you were Canadian, you would get 1.5 down, 400 up, for $42.95/month CANADIAN (less than $30 US) and the downtime is... well, I was down once for about an hour this year. Also, we pay the same amount in Canadian dollars that Americans pay in American dollars for computer parts. To sum it up, when it comes to electronics, americans take it in the ass because they don't know better.
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<b><i><font color=blue>Reverand Bob</b></i></font>Comment
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paying 30, 40, 50 ...80 for a high speed internet connection is a surfer issue. not a business issue.we'll miss you our friend. RIPComment
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There are a few historical reasons such as the isolationist movement in the west and the seperation movement in Quebec, but lately it has to do with Toronto being the capital for almost all of the media and economic power in Canada. Whenever a coast to coast sporting event is broadcast it is 95% of the time a Toronto team that is shown, wether it is the Leafs, the Blue Jays or the Raptors (the Raptors dont really count since the Grizzlies are gone), the national news almost always has a Toronto bias towards it, the people in the street interviews are usually people from Toronto. Toronto has come to symbolize the way Canada wants to be but might not really be - such as with the multicultural melting pot and a very left of center political base.Originally posted by [Labret]
Really? Why is that?
I have been to Toronto within the last year, and it appeared quite clean and safe.
Its only drawback were all the Canadians.
We are definitely the big dog in Canada and get some of the same hate from Canadians that Americans receive from other countries.
And you know how it is - when your the big dog you like to swing your dick, it's just that you Americans have a much bigger yard to swing it in.Comment
![[Labret]](data:image/svg+xml;base64,CgkJCTxzdmcgeG1sbnM9J2h0dHA6Ly93d3cudzMub3JnLzIwMDAvc3ZnJyB2aWV3Qm94PScwIDAgNTAgNTAnPgoJCQkJPHJlY3Qgd2lkdGg9JzEwMCUnIGhlaWdodD0nMTAwJScgZmlsbD0nIzRkNjI1MycgLz4KCQkJCTx0ZXh0IHg9JzUwJScgeT0nNTAlJyBmaWxsPSd3aGl0ZScgZm9udC13ZWlnaHQ9J2JvbGQnIGZvbnQtZmFtaWx5PSdBcmlhbCcgZm9udC1zaXplPSczMDAlJyBkb21pbmFudC1iYXNlbGluZT0nY2VudHJhbCcgdGV4dC1hbmNob3I9J21pZGRsZSc+WzwvdGV4dD4KCQkJPC9zdmc+CgkJ "[Labret]")
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