I've just lost the woman I've loved for almost ten years

Good blog...
Awesome

a lot have been said already, so just my best wishes to you, you´ll feel much better soon

see?!... now you're starting your life...
give yourself the love and respect that it deserves...
Alana may deserve the love that you gave (or still have) but for NOW, yourself needs you...

Well, Dude,

I've been through this feeling a long time ago... I was
much younger, but it hit me very hard.
Now the thing that happened to you made me cry again.
I'm with you man!

Saby

To be perfectly honest, I don't think you will "feel much better soon" but that is part of love, at the risk of sounding tacky.

she meant a lot to you and you were together for a long time.....that won't pass easily and if it does then she didn't mean so much to you after all.


Fuck destiny and fate and if you were "meant to be together", life is a bitch. YOU love her and you always will. You CAN go on without her but that doesn't mean it will be easy. If she comes back to you and you feel she is true then take her back with open arms.

but in the end, I agree with the advice of "don't take any advice"

I didn't read all 40-something pages, so I am sure it has been said before....but....
I'm so sorry that you are hurting. I'm not going to give any advice, just wanted you to know that I was thinking of you, and if there is anything I can do, let me know.
Hugs,
Chase

i hope you'll feel better

Wow, I was just talking on the phone to a good friend, catching him up on all this and here I see the thread back on the front page. Thanks for all the support. The fact is, things got even uglier since the last time I posted in this thread and things are looking grim. I do appreciate all the kind words, though.

SpaceAce

Take this opportunity, it`s a new beginning for you. Grow up! Start taking care of yourself!
Just let her go dude ...
Been through this, with a guy like ya, for nearly 10 yrs.
It just happened at some point. No explanation to this.
An advise from me from the woman`s point of view. Don`t get obsessive, don`t blame anyone, don`t get mad, just let her go.
Maybe she didn`t want to hurt you all those years, and she couldn`t take living with you anymore. The other guy is an excuse, so you can take it easier.
"TIME!"
The things sometines are meant to be the way we don`t like them.
Sometimes it brings new exciting chances. Who knows what the future holds ? Heads up !

Shit like this happens to everyone once it seems.

this will sound really stupid, but it helped me.. try to to enjoy the feeling, even if it's sad. it sounds like true love, appreciate the fact you were able to love. Many can't.

all the best

Jesus Christ...How did this thread get to ten pages without me seeing it?

I read EVERY WORD of your post and all I can say is that you should be glad that you don't have any children with her and that you're not married to her...

If you were married, she could just leave for the next man that tickles her fancy AND take you for every penny you have AND take the children that you so longed for...

I just had to get rid of a girlfriend that was fucking up and it was a lot easier just telling her not to call me asking for shit and hanging up than it was paying my lawyer 150 an hour to argue over all of the bullshit that my ex-wife wanted to argue about.

I know it's fucked up but you got off EASY....You're still young and you have a career and you can start over...

And you shouldn't even want her back even after she figured out that she fucked up...if she'll leave you now, she'll leave you later on.

things are looking grim???


What are you talking about? Give us the details...

Sorry to hear that man

Keep your chin up, man. I've been there too and it's the most awful feeling in the world. Try to concentrate on other things. One day you'll be able to breathe again and feel like your old self. For now, however, you must move on and not dwell on the situation too much.

Well then dammit fill us in!

Matter a fact i think it happen to me.

I just went through with the reading ... I really feal sad for you man .

Really fucking sad

I don't think there is a fast recovery after 10 years

Read the whole post b4 you post ... she left on the plane

I am sorry, time will heal your pain.

haha inquiring minds what to know!

Reading that brought tears in my eyes, I wish you the best in life and a way to find new love again

Thats not a good feeling at all.

Calling SpaceAce.... come in SpaceAce... do you copy?

Yes ...
this thread is now my top thread ever read on GFY.

A master blog.

Just like Oprah

It's a bit "Oprah" but it is WELL written ...
and touches the heart of every adult who has ever grown up and loved & lost.

And although I feel like writing a response - I decided not to...
simply because I don't want disrespectful posts - in this thread.
respect

Sorry bro it's never easy.Good luck to u.

The pain never goes away. I've gone through something similar. Thoughts of her and what could have been will haunt you all your life.

good luck man...


if she doesn't come back there's a lot more fish in the sea



match.com

Update please.

How long ago did it happen to you?

Feel for you man. Hope it works out......

Good thread.

I hope you will feel much better soon.

Space,

Don't know ya' but I feel for you so I'm gonna offer up some advice. My advice, along with many of the others should be taken with a grain of salt. It's up to you to decide what's best for you and only you can answer that.

Your relationship with this woman is over - there is no reconcilliation. A woman in an established relationship doesn't run off and give another man a piece of ass - she gave the other man her "intimacy" and women don't tend to be "indian-givers". Once she took that away from you, she's not going to just "hand it back" after sleeping with another man.

Move out - she's been footing the bills financially for some time. Step up and be a man and pack up your personal belongings and move out. Don't be vendictive or hurtful to her - just go your own way.

Now for some harsh truths and this is more for any future relationship you WILL have.

As much as you loved this woman, the relationship (as I've interpreted it from what you've said) died because you killed it. No, it's not murder in the first degree, but it's definitely negligent homicide.

A woman needs communication - LOTS of it. You said you and she didn't know anyone where you were living. You CAN NOT be your partners only source for communication. Get out, socialize, let her (and you) meet new people. She'll find new "girlfriends" and she'll do "girlfriend" things. A man just can't provide a woman with all the communication needs she has - mostly because you won't understand them all. Ask a man how his day was, he'll generally give you a word one adjective. Ask a woman and it could very well be a 10 minute conversation. Arguments can never last more than 1 day. Never go to bed angry. When you're arguing, keep in mind this one question. Do I need to be right or do I need to be loved? I'm not saying sacrifice your principles, but most of the stuff couples argue about are stupidly unimportant.


A woman need security - no, not a mansion and a bank full of wealth, but enough to live and not "just survive". But is sounds like while she's working hard to move up in her repective field, you've been sitting on your ass doing - well, not much. Not giving that woman a sense of security by playing poker and tossing a grand into the bank account now and then. You've offered no stability for her - which brings me to my next point.

She wasn't going to marry you. Your view of the relationship and her view were completely different. You're in the "I got a woman and things are great" mode while she's in the "I've given him a long time to shape up into a man I'd marry but he's not making any effort" mode. If a woman wants to marry you, she won't be shy about tossing out hints, if not outright, future wedding planning conversations.

A relationship with a woman has ALWAYS got to be "going somewhere". Even after you're married with 2 kids. the relationship needs gas and wheels and an open highway. Once you park it, it gathers parking tickets, the wheels start to leak air and carbon builds up in the engine. Next time you crank it up, you're thinking man, I'm going to take a sweet ride in the "relationship car" and you'll think it'll be just like the rides you used to take, but the engine will sputter, it won't handle as nicely as it used to with flat tires and the cops will be chasing ya' for your unpaid parking tickets! When it comes to relationships, the only ticket you want are speeding tickets!

Think of a woman as a plant and your relationship as the flower..

Plant it in rich soil, water it, feed it and plant it outside with other flowers so it can cross pollinate with other flowers (girlfriend relationships) and get plenty of sun and warmth. It'll bloom year after year

A neglected plant dies.

This is so true - Also - Someone else said - "Get well soon"

Great wise words - A sudden break up will cause you a deep sickness and you having the will to get over it will make you a better guy - Think back to KRL's post (Who has also been through the love mangle, like myself, many times over)

Give yourself some projects to emerse yourself into for a while and then, you will realize moving on, is part of life's journey along the road to your personal success


Best of luck

Definitely, one of the best ever.

Damn dude, I feel for you. I won't waste your time telling you all the other things that most people say like time heals........ but I will tell you this, don't get caught up in the party scene and fuck with the hoes. They will make you hate woman. Focus on making yourself reach whatever goals you have for yourelf. Like go back to school, start working, get involved in something. You'll be alright. It's shitty, but we all go through this shit. It's painful-but keep reminding yourself, that what goes around comes around and keep your head up.

This thread still going ?

fuckin bummer dude! but everything happens for a reason. want i should send you a crack whore? only thing is i'll hav ta cut her in pieces to get cheap shipping.

Yes.

all I can say is wow, great post man

Same shit happened to me with the woman i am with now...

we have been together for 9 years, and around the 7th year, she broke up with me right out of the blue. No reason, but that i didn't get along with her family because im so busy working.

I didn't know what to do... My world was upside down... So i did nothing and didn't call her or speak to her at all. She tried calling me, so she could return my stuff, but i didn't answer and she ended up emailing me. She stated that she still wanted to be friends. I told her to go fuck herself and leave me alone cuz i wanted to get on with my life.

One day (2 weeks later), she calls me up and tells me she made a mistake and bla, bla, bla...

My advise to you (if its worth anything), is to do nothing. Make sure you dont talk to her or let her meet with you. Dont let your emotions cloud your decisions (I know its hard).

Women are fucked in head... They are so ruled by emotion, that its hard to take them seriously until they are 30+ years old. Woman could watch a movie, or read an article / horoscope.. and make a rash decision based on that.

How old is she ? 22-27 are their 'crazy' years...

If you were together for that long, and you KNOW for certain that there is no other guy... You'll be back together if you cut her off.

Im real sorry to hear this... but you know what ? Life gos on... She wants you to grovel and be pathetic... dont give her the satisfaction.

Worsed case is that she wont come back... You wont be any worse off than you are now.

definitively the best "heartbreak" thread EVER!

is SpaceAce still around? its been a long time. great reading and so good on everyone sharing their experiences.

:gluglug

what the bump?

wow it's been 2 years. I wonder how is he now

Shit man, that was quite the read.
Hope the guy moved on and met someone worthy.