Sorry but I had to share this.
Ive seen a lot of funny/ strange emails over the years ...written to me and models.
Well, this is one of the best. Its an inquiry to Ginger Jolie to hire her for a "project".
It's kinda long - but if you can get through it, its fucking hysterical.
(I changed the guys name. I also summarized my top 5 favorite quotes at the bottom)
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>Hi, this message was sent a month ago, and I'm
> wondering if it was received. I'm still interested in
> hiring Ms. Jolie for the project described below. I'll
> be in LA for the next six months.
>
> Thanks
> John
>
>
> Message to Ginger Jolie/management:
>
> I'll be in California this summer working on a variety
> of projects, one of which I plan to turn into a comic
> book and graphic novel. The star of the project is a
> sharp woman who leaves the banking industry to become
> a corporate assassin. Her name is Holly Feel. She's a
> bit like Barbarella in that she seems always on the
> point of getting in and and out of her clothes, but
> she's totally her own character in terms of using her
> intelligence and beauty to correct some of the ills of
> her society. There is nudity in the project, but there
> is also wit and smarts. For example:
>
> Holly Feel is seen on video from afar. She is wearing
> only a coat, and the camera slowly approaches the
> scene of a shoot, until the lens is inches from her
> face. She looks at the audience and says, coolly,
> "You're completely mistaken, I am not ovulating," and
> the camera recedes rapidly.
>
> I'd like to know Ginger Jolie's day rate and schedule
> a shoot to see if this project could work to both of
> our advantages.
>
> My own history is as distinctive and ambitious as
> anyone could imagine. I've made movies, written books,
> made DVDs, had a television show, made a musical, blah
> blah, and have been fortunate enough to get nothing
> but good reviews. I've traveled widely and live
> wildly, always trying to get close to wildlife. Just
> got back from a trip delivering a guitar to a pygmy
> genius in the Congo, and visited the mountain gorilla
> for the third time in two years in Uganda.
>
> Why the nudity? It's an easy way to get the fratheads
> to pay attention. It's the best of red herrings. I've
> been naked in several of my own movies and could care
> less what anyone thinks. In my first four films, I
> refused to show female nudity as a form of payback,
> and loaded up with naked guys, including some scenes
> with a pal who just got nominated for an Academy
> Award. I think sexuality is trivialized beyond belief,
> and nudity has been given a sort of cartoonish element
> in America, and I want to show something desirable
> while prompting the question from the viewer, What is
> the nature of what I am desiring right now? Who is
> she? What does she want? Why? And the answers will
> make the character still more provocative.
>
> Please let me know if you're interested in such a
> project.
>
>
> John Doe
> Los Angeles
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
My Top 5 new favorite quotes:
5) "My own history is as distinctive and ambitious as
anyone could imagine"
4) " I've traveled widely and live wildly, always trying to get close to wildlife"
3) "Why the nudity? It's an easy way to get the fratheads to pay attention"
2) "I've been naked in several of my own movies and could care less what anyone thinks."
...and the #1 quote IS:
1) "Just got back from a trip delivering a guitar to a pygmy genius in the Congo"
Ta da!!!
Ive seen a lot of funny/ strange emails over the years ...written to me and models.
Well, this is one of the best. Its an inquiry to Ginger Jolie to hire her for a "project".
It's kinda long - but if you can get through it, its fucking hysterical.
(I changed the guys name. I also summarized my top 5 favorite quotes at the bottom)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Hi, this message was sent a month ago, and I'm
> wondering if it was received. I'm still interested in
> hiring Ms. Jolie for the project described below. I'll
> be in LA for the next six months.
>
> Thanks
> John
>
>
> Message to Ginger Jolie/management:
>
> I'll be in California this summer working on a variety
> of projects, one of which I plan to turn into a comic
> book and graphic novel. The star of the project is a
> sharp woman who leaves the banking industry to become
> a corporate assassin. Her name is Holly Feel. She's a
> bit like Barbarella in that she seems always on the
> point of getting in and and out of her clothes, but
> she's totally her own character in terms of using her
> intelligence and beauty to correct some of the ills of
> her society. There is nudity in the project, but there
> is also wit and smarts. For example:
>
> Holly Feel is seen on video from afar. She is wearing
> only a coat, and the camera slowly approaches the
> scene of a shoot, until the lens is inches from her
> face. She looks at the audience and says, coolly,
> "You're completely mistaken, I am not ovulating," and
> the camera recedes rapidly.
>
> I'd like to know Ginger Jolie's day rate and schedule
> a shoot to see if this project could work to both of
> our advantages.
>
> My own history is as distinctive and ambitious as
> anyone could imagine. I've made movies, written books,
> made DVDs, had a television show, made a musical, blah
> blah, and have been fortunate enough to get nothing
> but good reviews. I've traveled widely and live
> wildly, always trying to get close to wildlife. Just
> got back from a trip delivering a guitar to a pygmy
> genius in the Congo, and visited the mountain gorilla
> for the third time in two years in Uganda.
>
> Why the nudity? It's an easy way to get the fratheads
> to pay attention. It's the best of red herrings. I've
> been naked in several of my own movies and could care
> less what anyone thinks. In my first four films, I
> refused to show female nudity as a form of payback,
> and loaded up with naked guys, including some scenes
> with a pal who just got nominated for an Academy
> Award. I think sexuality is trivialized beyond belief,
> and nudity has been given a sort of cartoonish element
> in America, and I want to show something desirable
> while prompting the question from the viewer, What is
> the nature of what I am desiring right now? Who is
> she? What does she want? Why? And the answers will
> make the character still more provocative.
>
> Please let me know if you're interested in such a
> project.
>
>
> John Doe
> Los Angeles
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
My Top 5 new favorite quotes:
5) "My own history is as distinctive and ambitious as
anyone could imagine"
4) " I've traveled widely and live wildly, always trying to get close to wildlife"
3) "Why the nudity? It's an easy way to get the fratheads to pay attention"
2) "I've been naked in several of my own movies and could care less what anyone thinks."
...and the #1 quote IS:
1) "Just got back from a trip delivering a guitar to a pygmy genius in the Congo"
Ta da!!!
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