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Thank you thank you thank you...this is what I was hoping for-a discussion...
His drug problems are well documented. He has had to move out of our home while we were married because of it-DCF even gave ME temporary custody of HIS child with another woman because of it. He's failed piss tests for pot and cocaine. He's been in treatment two or three times since we were married. There was even a police report and DCF call made because of a domestic dispute.
IF his actions in the last two weeks did not lead me to believe that he has had a relapse-this would not be an issue. He had the kids for three days straight in May, but at that time, he was straight, by all appearances.
This is not the first time he's been two weeks late on child support-but this IS the first time he's been two weeks late AND completely avoided seeing or talking to the kids (and therefore avoiding me, which I feel he is doing because he knows I would be able to tell if he was using). I've never turned him away from seeing them before.
I can understand what you are saying about me keeping control of his visits..but I truly would not be insisting on that if I felt he was in control of HIMSELF. I DO have the documented reasons to be uneasy.
He does have custody of his son...so a call to DCF would require him to take a piss test which I would bet my eyeballs he'd fail. But do I want to start shit with him? No, definitely not. And, truthfully, his son isn't lucky like our girls to have at least one parent with a stable home. His boy's mom is a raging drunk and at 10 years old he's able to care for himself in a lot of ways, so I think his dad is the lesser of two evils.
I don't fear he would abuse them..but I fear he would neglect them. Not because he is a bad person (he isn't), and not because he doesn't love them (he does)...but because he has a drug problem that he has trouble controlling.
This is really one of those damned if you do and damned if you don't situations...
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