50 Bullshit 'Fake' Jobs when someone asks and you cant say porn 
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i tell them that I manage a few websites for clients.
Often times I wonder why
There's love and hate, theres live or die.
When sickness comes I must decide:
When feelings go, theres suicide.
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I normally just say that i do online promotional work, and some web development. It works for about 5 seconds, until one of my mates jumps in and says "he peddles porn!"
It's especially disturbing when you then have to answer questions from a curious 50 year old woman about the porn business.
And no, i'm not going to try and get her to become a mature model!26 + 6 = 1Comment
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I am a web site development consultant
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I tell them that I work in as a gigolo!
Click Here to get $42 a sale AND Get FREE MGP Coaching from WebmasterLabor.Com
Sign up above then EMAIL info (( at )) webmasterlabor DOT com for your free 1 to 1 MGP coaching
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Originally posted by juicylinks
Stunt Cock
i usually just tell them i do online marketingMy sig was changed cause I don't know how to read the rules on this page
http://www.gofuckyourself.com/gfy_faqs.html
You can contact me about getting on as an advertiser - eric AT adult.comComment
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design webpages, except that always doesnt work cuz sometimes people ask me to design them one and I really suck at it
web marketing is my other job which is trueComment
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I used to say programmer. But that doesn't really work anymore.
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Good times
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I do "online advertising". But I always get a ton of questionsYour leader for Adult SEO Services
19+ Years Serving the Adult/SEO Industry
ICQ: 610-814
Skype: xratedseoComment
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I just say conglomorate monster.even ADULTS need TOYS
icq: 3 6 3 2 6 6 6 7 | aim: conglomorateman
open for business, affiliates and friendshipsComment
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Some web design, custom programming, internet marketing. If more questions follow, I tell them to check out amazon and google.
You've read it, you can't unread it.Comment
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I tell them I work the makeup counter at MacysComment
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Internet Marketing , and i have a few nice mainstream projects to site as examples if they ask beyond that.
Then I say - JUST DON'T GO ON MY COMPUTER!!!!
NO MOM NOOOOOOO!
icq:159548293Comment
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"I'm a hacker"
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'internet marketing'we'll miss you our friend. RIPComment
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My cousin's boyfriend wasn't afraid and kept bugging me for 2 hours on way back to explain to him exactly "HOW" to do "SEO" ha ha haaaaaaaOriginally posted by MandyBlake
True...I like the search engine optimization one.
People should be too afraid to ask anything about that one.
Fuck all these other self proclaimed SEO posers. My SEO knowledge delivers real results. Click here to learn more...
ICQ: 143661052Comment
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Exactly... and if they do, get verrrry technicalOriginally posted by Scott McD
Web Design. They don't ask any more questions after that...
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And hope they dont reply with: "Do you use FreeBSD?"Originally posted by mardigras
Exactly... and if they do, get verrrry technical
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Exactly! Why do so many people feel the need to hide their occupation from others?Originally posted by RicardoB
I like what I do and I don't care who knows it
My motto If they don't like what I am/do I'm pretty sure they can find their way to the exit.Comment
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I work online.
Its complicated.
Even if I told you, you wouldnt understand.Comment
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" I am a webmaster."
That usually gets the job done for me.
-GregComment
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Great answer!Originally posted by punker barbie
PIMP
Professional
Internet
Marketing
Person
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Now thats funnyOriginally posted by juicylinks
Stunt Cock
I just tell them I make websites and if they ask what websites Ive made I tell them its adult related most men ask are they real and how can see for free and most wemon look confused and shocked I have nothing to hide.Buy great domains from drunken burned out old webmaster CHEAP bullseyeporn.com art-met.com and more.
Learn how to make a easy extra $500 per weekComment
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Example: Girlfriend with religious parents.Originally posted by Trixie Racer
Exactly! Why do so many people feel the need to hide their occupation from others?Comment
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dialer logistical managementComment
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I say I work for an affiliate program. And most people don't know what that is and just go duh and STFU
The guys at CJ Bucks will do absolutely anything to get your business. You owe it to yourself to at least ask!
Free Hosting, Content, etc. CJ Bucks has it all. Sign up! I'll show you my tits now you show me your traffic.Comment
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I never really gave a rats ass what people thought about my job.
But my wife didn't want to tell her mom that.
Now I just tell them I'm a network engineer and programmer which is basically all i do.
Of course one look at my offices and they would have no doubt what I was programming.Comment
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I'm the guy that fills your hotmail 'Bulk Mail' folder.I dont need a sig.
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male prostituteLooking to speak w/ high volume nutra CPA affiliates or networks... msg meComment
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No need to be ashamed of what you do!
If you need some lines, here ya go:
Internet Service Provider
SEO Consulting
Network Consultant
Computer Consultant or Tech
Web developer
Communications Contractor
And recently - Unemployed (that's if you don't count adult income)
All of these are true for me. My girlfriend prefers me not to say I do any adult work. I'd rather say I do. Like wearing the adult shirts around. That is prolly stupid considering where I live. (Bible Belt).Comment
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I own an advertising company so all I have to do is point the folks in that direction.
It would be nice to have both titles on my biz cards though
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Me too!Originally posted by Tuga
I party all night, sleep all day, and make money on the internet.Comment
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Internet marketing, website design and traffic generation. I've even done a couple of non-adult sites I can show around...Sleep well, and dream of large women.
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Freelance web developer. If they sound interested I explain a little about building sites & getting commission on any sales using online pharmacies as an example.
All true!
~ 300+ FHGs, 100,000 pics to use plus a rockin' Video of the Day download! ~Comment
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Traffic Broker.... I've had one case where a bunch of "stiffs" decided they wanted an in depth description.... so instead of just saying "well, I buy pictures of naked chicks getting fucked up the ass, put them on a page that advertises access to porn sites.... and did I mention that I have a paysite with people doing weird hardcore sex, LIVE... in fact, I'm looking at porn for most of my day.............................. in html format......... blah blah blah" I just said... I make sites about home insurance and submit it to Google and buy traffic from Google.com ........ by then they have no idea what I'm talking about.
my mother doesn't know... no one in my family knows either... they just think I make SE sites for home loans.
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Yeah its always nice to have a couple non-adult sites.Originally posted by Dagwolf
Internet marketing, website design and traffic generation. I've even done a couple of non-adult sites I can show around...Comment
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That is sooo funny.Originally posted by Krusty
my mother doesn't know... no one in my family knows either... they just think I make SE sites for home loans.
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Originally posted by Ganjasaurus
Web marketing stuff
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We have do mainstream and adult design, are power slellers on eBay and have offline businesses as well. Porn is one important part of what we do and very few people know except our very close friends.
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Since my real job is working as a ninja, I often find myself saying I sell porn online to hide the fact that I am an international fugitive assassin. When the situation doesn't allow me that cover, I say I am an artist. Or a butcher. Here I am getting ready to cook a vegan...
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Originally posted by IratePrimate
Since my real job is working as a ninja, I often find myself saying I sell porn online to hide the fact that I am an international fugitive assassin. When the situation doesn't allow me that cover, I say I am an artist. Or a butcher. Here I am getting ready to cook a vegan...
that was priceless.
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I tell them that I sell drugs... I sell drugs to druggies, single moms, kids, you name it! Anyone who wants a hit, I will give it to them.
After their face looks at me in disgust. I then come clean and tell them I'm a pornographer then they smile and say oh well that's not so bad. LOL!
DHComment
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ecommerce consultant which is partialy true because I do development for non adult sites as a favour to friends
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I just say that I do consulting for internet firms.SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60. Let me repeat... A 120 x 60 button and no more that 3 lines of DEFAULT SIZE AND COLOR text.Comment
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