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Useful Euphemisms:
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahaha
Abusing the usual suspect
Angry fist action
Answer the bone-a-phone
Assault on a friendly weapon
Bhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahaha
Backstroke roulette
Baiting your hook
Ball off
Batting practice
Bash the bishop
Bash the candle
Beat off
Beat your hog
Beating the bait
Beating the bishop
Beating the dummy
Beating the snake
Beating the stick
Beating your meat
Being your own best friend
Belt your hog
Blanket drill, The
Bleed the lizard
Bleed the weed
Blessing the alter boy
Blow Your load
Bludgeon the beefsteak
Bop the baloney
Bop the boa
Bop the hog
Boppin' your bologna
Box the Jesuit
Boxing the clown
Buckin' it
Buffing the banana
Buffing the wood
Burping the worm
Bust a nut
Butter your corn
Chahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahaha
Cajun clown fucking
Calling down for more mayo
Calling genie
Cast off
Chafing the weasel
Changing your oil
Charm the cobra
Chicken milking
Choking Charlie 'till he throws up
Choke the sheriff and wait for the posse to come
Choke Kojak
Choke the bishop
Choke the chicken
Cleaning out the rope
Cleaning the pipes
Cleaning the rifle
Clubbing Eddy
Clubbing the dolphin
Coax the cajones
Coming to grips with yourself
Couch hockey for one
Cough your filthy yogurt
Cracking one off
Cracking the fat
Crank the Shank
Cranking
Creaming the banana
Crown the king
Cuff the carrot
Cuff the governor
Cuffing the puppy
Dhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahaha
Date Rosey Palm and her five daughters
Dating Miss Michigan
Detoxifying the puppy
Devil's handshake
Diddle yourself
Dishonorable discharge
Doing the knuckle shuffle on your piss pump
Dong flogging
Doodle your noodle
Drain the dragon
Drain the monster
Drain the vein
Drip the pickle
Drop off a load
Drubbing the dolphin
Ehahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahaha
Eberting Siskel
Fhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahaha
Fapping
Fertilizing the Lawn
Fetch the bagel dog
Fiddle the ferret
Fight your turkey
Firm your worm
Fist fuck
Fist kabobing
Fist your mister
Five against one
Five finger knuckle shuffle
Five knuckle olympics
Flog yourself
Flogging the bishop
Flogging the dolphin
Flogging your dong
Flogging your log
Flong your dong
Flute solo
Flying a kite
Fondle the fig
Freeing the willies
Friction therapy
Frig yourself
Frigging the love muscle
Fuck Mary Fist
Ghahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahaha
Gallop the antelope
Get a hold of yourself
Get your nuts off
Getting in touch with your manhood
Getting in touch with yourself
Getting to know yourself
Getting your caps peeled
Gherkin jerkin'
Giving it a tug
Giving oneself a "low-five"
Giving the John Hancock
Grease the pipe
Greasing your bone
Grip your dip
Grooming your junior
Hhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahaha
Hack the hog
Ham shank
Hand dancing
Hand jive
Hand job
Handle yourself
Hands on training
Hand to gland combat
Hand to hand combat with the purple helmeted warrior
Hand work
Having a pull
Having a roy
Have it off
Have one off the wrist
Heating up the hot dog
Hitchhike under the big top
Hitching to Heaven
Hit the ham
Holding all the cards
Holding your sausage hostage
Hone your bone
Hump your fist
Hump your hose
Humpin' air
Ihahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahaha
Interrogating the witness
Ironing some wrinkles
Jhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahaha
Jack hammer
Jack off
Jackin'
Jackin' the beanstalk
Jag off
Jazz yourself
Jerk off
Jerk the gherkin
Jerk the Johnson
Jibbin'
Jiggle the jewelry
Jimmying your Joey
Jiving with Johnson
Juggling the javelin
Khahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahaha
Keep the census down
Kick one out
Killing kittens
Killing the beast
Knock the top off
Knuckle shuffle
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