How many men does it take to open a Beer?

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?














The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

How many men does it take to change the kitchen light?


None, the bitch can do the dishes in the dark.

Now only if they would listen

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.





It's called a Wedding Cake.

Its so obvious who doesn't get laid on GFY.



BG

Amen.

But the dog one really is funny.

Why can't women snow ski well.






Because theres no snow between the oven the sink.

Who?

..in this thread. I mean 98% of GFY doesn't, and 1% is women.

So, so, so,so, so very true.

I hate the stories about her day that start.. "So that bitch at work.."

(they ALL got a bitch they hate at work unless they work alone. )

How many men does it take to please a woman?
Impossible. Once a woman's done bitching about the men they're all asleep.

What do you tell a women with two black eyes?
Nothing, you've already told her twice.

How long does it take a woman to clean the toilet?
Who cares, as long as dinner is on the table by 6.

Why did the women cross the road ?
Never mind that, what the hell is she doing out the kitchen.

Why do women eat so much during pregnacy?
Because its the only time to have a good excuse to be fat.

What do you do if your dishwasher breaks down?
Kick her in the butt.

The definition of the 90's woman:
She works 90 hours a week, earns $90,000 a year and thinks that "Screwing" and "Cooking" are outer provinces of China.

How many divorced Women does it take to screw in a light bulb?
4,1 to screw in the bulb, 3 to form a support group.

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?
He died laughing before he could tell anybody.

Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.

Why did god give women legs ?
So that they can walk from the bedroom to the kitchen.

What is the difference between a smart woman and Bigfoot ?
Bigfoot has been spotted.

What do you do when a woman throws a hand grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.


Oh and yes I actually DO get laid from time to time