Is there really such a thing as an OPEN marriage?

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  • Yo Adrian
    Confirmed User
    • Apr 2002
    • 6326
    #1

    Is there really such a thing as an OPEN marriage?

    So I have this friend...

    He's been telling me about how his wife has been giving him 'get out of jail free' cards for several years now... he honestly doesn't think she has a problem with him seeing another woman, as long as she's clean and he's safe.

    So he tells me he's thinking of taking this chick out for a test drive, asked me if I think he should.

    What should I tell him?
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    • egonetworks
      Confirmed User
      • Jan 2004
      • 6706
      #2
      Tell him to video tape it and sell it.

        Comment

        • Spunky
          I need a beer
          • Jun 2002
          • 133978
          #3
          If his wife is cool with it why not?...He should have the same attitude towards her though.

            Comment

            • NinjaSteve
              Too lazy to set a custom title
              • Dec 2003
              • 11089
              #4
              I think he should bring his wife with him.

              But seriously, if he's going to do this he'll have to be okay with his wife doing other guys. It just opens up a problematic relationship in my opinion.
              ...

                Comment

                • jaYMan
                  peace&profit,
                  • Jan 2001
                  • 4885
                  #5
                  Heh, don't get anywhere near the middle of that.



                  It may come back to haunt ya!
                  peace&profit,
                  jaYMan

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                    • Jman
                      Already an AI veteran
                      • Sep 2003
                      • 22834
                      #6
                      His wife probably as a Cabana Boy hanging around... that is why she is tolerant.

                      I would tell him what goes around comes around... Karma
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                        • MrIzzz
                          If u touch it, I will cum
                          • Sep 2003
                          • 22923
                          #7
                          the answer is yes.......


                          sex is good for the health, the more he has with different women the better his cholesterol, blood pressure, and suger levels will be


                          WHO WANTS TO PLAY GRAB-ASS?

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                            • Raven
                              Confirmed User
                              • Jul 2001
                              • 6874
                              #8
                              Originally posted by Yo Adrian
                              So I have this friend...

                              He's been telling me about how his wife has been giving him 'get out of jail free' cards for several years now... he honestly doesn't think she has a problem with him seeing another woman, as long as she's clean and he's safe.

                              So he tells me he's thinking of taking this chick out for a test drive, asked me if I think he should.

                              What should I tell him?
                              Two things come to mind.

                              Does he live in a community property state? If so, then tell him no.

                              And..

                              I don't know too many women who really 'mean it'.
                              Raven

                              ~RETIRED~

                                Comment

                                • Muffin
                                  Confirmed User
                                  • Apr 2003
                                  • 568
                                  #9
                                  There's not much to say if a couple is in agreement. If it works for them, then bravo. However, I personally couldn't handle that.....I spent a lifetime looking for the one person with whom I would share my life with......and no one else. To me it seems to defeat the purpose of marriage. However, once again, if it works for them.....then that is all that matters.

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                                    • Zoe_Zoebaboe
                                      Confirmed User
                                      • Jul 2002
                                      • 4463
                                      #10
                                      In all honesty, it all depends on the situation.

                                      I mean, there is such a thing as polygamy, but it HAS to be wanted by BOTH parties. If only one person in the relationship wants it it becomes inbalanced and it's destined to fail. I know 3 couples that have been in open-relationships for at least a year, and they seem content with it. You just need to make sure to have your own rules set and things should work
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                                        • KRL
                                          Entrepreneur
                                          • Oct 2002
                                          • 31429
                                          #11
                                          Yes, some couples are wide open when it comes to the fidelity issue.

                                          I think as you get older you get more tolerant of this.
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                                            • NinjaSteve
                                              Too lazy to set a custom title
                                              • Dec 2003
                                              • 11089
                                              #12
                                              By the way what are "get out of jail free cards"? Is it a figure of speech? Or did she give him phyiscal cards? Or did she say "Hey. blah blah blah <get out of jail free> blah blah"?
                                              ...

                                                Comment

                                                • Yo Adrian
                                                  Confirmed User
                                                  • Apr 2002
                                                  • 6326
                                                  #13
                                                  Originally posted by Raven


                                                  Does he live in a community property state? If so, then tell him no.
                                                  Excellent point.
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                                                    • MandyBlake
                                                      The one and only!
                                                      • Nov 2002
                                                      • 17761
                                                      #14
                                                      I think it's more important that this person actually sits down with his wife and discusses it. "You seem to not have a problem when these things have happened." And go from there. He shouldn't just assume anything. No one talks enough.
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                                                        • Yo Adrian
                                                          Confirmed User
                                                          • Apr 2002
                                                          • 6326
                                                          #15
                                                          Originally posted by NinjaSteve
                                                          By the way what are "get out of jail free cards"? Is it a figure of speech? Or did she give him phyiscal cards? Or did she say "Hey. blah blah blah <get out of jail free> blah blah"?


                                                          From what he tells me she's given him very direct hints that she is fine with the idea
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                                                            • NinjaSteve
                                                              Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                              • Dec 2003
                                                              • 11089
                                                              #16
                                                              So I wasn't sure what a community property state was so I decided to do some research. Here's what it means for those that don't know:

                                                              Holding title to real property is a type of ownership available to married couples only. There are currently nine states which offer community property status. These states are: Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington and Wisconsin. The property laws in these nine states look at property purchased during a marriage as community property and both husband and wife have an equal right to possess the property during their marriage.
                                                              ...

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                                                                • ZanyCash Larry
                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                  • Jun 2004
                                                                  • 1057
                                                                  #17
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                                                                    • Vitasoy
                                                                      GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!!
                                                                      • Oct 2003
                                                                      • 58202
                                                                      #18
                                                                      'get out of jail free' cards for several years now... heh first time I heard of that term


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                                                                        • Paul Markham
                                                                          Too old to care
                                                                          • Jun 2001
                                                                          • 52942
                                                                          #19
                                                                          It depends on their relationship and how tight it is.

                                                                          Eva likes girls and 3somes and I don't say no. She also has no problem with me shooting girls she knows like me, she trusts me 100% and knows I'm not leaving this nest.

                                                                          But it would have driven my second wife crazy with jealousy.

                                                                          Diferent woman and a lot less confident in herself and me.



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                                                                            • Edguy!
                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                              • Mar 2004
                                                                              • 1126
                                                                              #20
                                                                              Originally posted by NinjaSteve
                                                                              By the way what are "get out of jail free cards"? Is it a figure of speech? Or did she give him phyiscal cards? Or did she say "Hey. blah blah blah <get out of jail free> blah blah"?
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                                                                                • garett
                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                  • Mar 2004
                                                                                  • 683
                                                                                  #21
                                                                                  Originally posted by JMan
                                                                                  His wife probably as a Cabana Boy hanging around... that is why she is tolerant.

                                                                                  I would tell him what goes around comes around... Karma
                                                                                  I completely disagree with that. I mean, it's more than possible, but there are people out there who get off on the idea of their partners being with other people... and seriously just don't mind it.

                                                                                  My wife is not ok with me being with other women if she's not there.. but I'm fine with her being with other guys.. it turns me on. I know that sounds insanely weird for most people .. but it's true. And I'm not a hypocrite .. I would never disrespect my wife and cheat on her. But if she's out having a good time and she meets a guy and has a sexual attraction and I'm not there ... then I want her to be happy. It's just sex .. as long as she's safe and he's clean etc. then I don't see the problem. I don't believe that sex and love are one and the same like most people seem to.

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                                                                                    • Sifu
                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                      • Oct 2003
                                                                                      • 1791
                                                                                      #22
                                                                                      We live it everyday, we enjoy other women.
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                                                                                        • fatal attraction
                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                          • Feb 2003
                                                                                          • 6522
                                                                                          #23
                                                                                          Originally posted by JMan
                                                                                          His wife probably as a Cabana Boy hanging around... that is why she is tolerant.

                                                                                          I would tell him what goes around comes around... Karma

                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                            • slapass
                                                                                              Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                              • Nov 2002
                                                                                              • 14625
                                                                                              #24
                                                                                              "hints"??? Nope don't work to go for a test drive after she hinted. Tell him to sit down and talk to her openly about it.

                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                • SykkBoy2
                                                                                                  Jesus loves bacon
                                                                                                  • Feb 2001
                                                                                                  • 19969
                                                                                                  #25
                                                                                                  An "open relationship" has to be built on strong mutual trust. If he's thinking of taking ths woman for a testdrive and his wife doesn't know about it, it could threaten that trust. If I were you, I'd advise him to discuss it with his wife as she should have some say in the decision if this is truly an "open relationship".
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                                                                                                    • Johny Traffic
                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                      • Apr 2003
                                                                                                      • 5461
                                                                                                      #26
                                                                                                      My wife is not ok with me being with other women if she's not there.. but I'm fine with her being with other guys.. it turns me on. I know that sounds insanely weird for most people .. but it's true. And I'm not a hypocrite .. I would never disrespect my wife and cheat on her. But if she's out having a good time and she meets a guy and has a sexual attraction and I'm not there ... then I want her to be happy. It's just sex .. as long as she's safe and he's clean etc. then I don't see the problem. I don't believe that sex and love are one and the same like most people seem to.
                                                                                                      I agree with everything here and have the same attitude


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                                                                                                        • Holly
                                                                                                          Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                          • Jun 2003
                                                                                                          • 10017
                                                                                                          #27
                                                                                                          Originally posted by KRL
                                                                                                          I think as you get older you get more tolerant of this.
                                                                                                          I totally agree. I was just talking about this with someone the other day.

                                                                                                          I couldn't have handled it at 20, but if I met someone now and he was a good guy, good to me, etc., I don't think I would freak out if I found out he was getting blow jobs from hookers or having meaningless sex with some tramp. The only worry would be safety/std issues.

                                                                                                          I don't think it's much different than masturbation for some men. They female they do it with is almost like a magazine or video... just something to help get them off, then they're through. That's not really an open relationship, I don't guess, but I wouldn't care if that's what he was doing.
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                                                                                                            • Jill_J
                                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                                              • May 2004
                                                                                                              • 3599
                                                                                                              #28
                                                                                                              Originally posted by NinjaSteve
                                                                                                              I think he should bring his wife with him.

                                                                                                              But seriously, if he's going to do this he'll have to be okay with his wife doing other guys. It just opens up a problematic relationship in my opinion.
                                                                                                              had the same idea

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                                                                                                                • Doctor Dre
                                                                                                                  Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                  • Jan 2001
                                                                                                                  • 51692
                                                                                                                  #29
                                                                                                                  I cannot imagine my girl having sex with another guy ... it would be too fucking weird .

                                                                                                                  But its everybodys choice
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                                                                                                                    • C_U_Next_Tuesday
                                                                                                                      WW4L
                                                                                                                      • Oct 2002
                                                                                                                      • 10581
                                                                                                                      #30
                                                                                                                      Originally posted by SykkBoy2
                                                                                                                      An "open relationship" has to be built on strong mutual trust. If he's thinking of taking ths woman for a testdrive and his wife doesn't know about it, it could threaten that trust. If I were you, I'd advise him to discuss it with his wife as she should have some say in the decision if this is truly an "open relationship".
                                                                                                                      good advice

                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                        • Yo Adrian
                                                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                                                          • Apr 2002
                                                                                                                          • 6326
                                                                                                                          #31
                                                                                                                          Just talked to my buddy and showed him this thread.

                                                                                                                          He says he's a gambling man.

                                                                                                                          Crazy.
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