HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this
true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't
waste them on exercise. Everything
wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live
longer; that's like saying you can
extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
Take a nap.
______________________________
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and
corn. And what are these?
Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of
delivering vegetables to your
system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field
grass (green leafy vegetable).
And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance
of vegetable products.
_____________________________
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,
that means they take the water out
of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer
is also made out of grain.
Bottoms up!
________________________________
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, our ratio is one to
one. If you have two bodies, your
atio is two to one, etc.
\_______________________________
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. It may allow you six more months
in a nursing home in diapers. My
philosophy is: No Pain...Good
_______________________________
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable
oil. In fact, they're permeated in it.How could getting more
vegetables be bad for you?
________________________________
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
should only be doing sit-ups if you
want a bigger stomach.
________________________________
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans .. another vegetable!!!
It's the best feel-good food around!
________________________________
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
________________________________
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
_______________________________
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had
about food and diets and remember,
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well
preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one
hand - strawberries in the other body thoroughly used up, totally worn
out, and screaming - WOO HOO! What a Ride!"
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this
true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't
waste them on exercise. Everything
wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live
longer; that's like saying you can
extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
Take a nap.
______________________________
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and
corn. And what are these?
Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of
delivering vegetables to your
system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field
grass (green leafy vegetable).
And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance
of vegetable products.
_____________________________
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,
that means they take the water out
of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer
is also made out of grain.
Bottoms up!
________________________________
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, our ratio is one to
one. If you have two bodies, your
atio is two to one, etc.
\_______________________________
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. It may allow you six more months
in a nursing home in diapers. My
philosophy is: No Pain...Good
_______________________________
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable
oil. In fact, they're permeated in it.How could getting more
vegetables be bad for you?
________________________________
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
should only be doing sit-ups if you
want a bigger stomach.
________________________________
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans .. another vegetable!!!
It's the best feel-good food around!
________________________________
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
________________________________
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
_______________________________
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had
about food and diets and remember,
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well
preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one
hand - strawberries in the other body thoroughly used up, totally worn
out, and screaming - WOO HOO! What a Ride!"
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