Don't click if you think surfers are young, in great shape & have HUGE COCKS!!! (pix)

The other day an X friend of mine took a low blow at me to make himself feel better about himself & drew this cartoon of me. At first I was really pissed off, but then I felt sorry for this sick guy trying to put me down to feel somehow imaginarilly superior to me. Really, he just made himself look like an imature ass and I'm sure he has many excuses why he's justified in acting like a 12 year old. When in reality, he's just a depressed lonely under-achiever with penis envy that sits in the dark editing porn wishing his dick wasn't so small and he wasn't such a troll - that he could laid on camera too & get paid for it.

You see, I can relate, cause I have alot of experience being an outcast & misfit in my life. When I was in High School I was very skinny (125 lbs) and heavily into unpopular punk rock music, individual rebel sports like skateboarding, snowboarding, freestyle skiing, and bicycle road racing. I cut off all my hair and wore band shirts from "The Sex Pistols", The Clash", "FEAR", "The Dead Kenedy's" "The Circle Jerks" and "The Germs". I hung out with other outcast punks, derelicts, skaters, bar-room brawlers, criminals & street thugs. Coicedentally, as a survival tool, I learned to fight for what I believed in @ a very early age. Especially back in the late 70's and early 80's when I grew up in a suburbia jock school in Sacramento CA.

But, as Hollywood as the movies make it look - not following the crowd tends to force you into isolation alot... and so they invented the internet... and all the closet geeks came together as a comunity - to type. Oh, and look at pictures of naked chicks that were off fucking the captain of the football team that wasn't home on a Friday night, up all night, in the dark, typing to other keyboard warriors about what a fucking badass they are.. AND JERKING OFF TILL DAWN. I don't know, I could be wrong, but I'm only going by my own truthfull embarassing example.

So, who is your surfer? Is he (or she) the football jock or basketball star that is so handsome that he doesn't even have to try to get laid? The guy that women throw themselves at for thier autograph? Or, is he Rabi on the company credit card (I got one BTW) that joined your site from the TEMPLE because he is so sexually oppressed that he's rarely seen a naked girl? Or is he the band geek... that became a rock star that likes the anonimity of the world weird web to rub one out?

But... and a butt bigger than mine in this case, if over 60% of America is overweight - why are all porn studs young, buff, hairless & hung like a horse? how can the general population of porn consumer relate to that demographic? Are women on a large part really that shallow like us men? In my experience - NOT ON YOUR LIFE!!! ESPECIALLY THE SUPER HOT ONES!!!
How do I know? Because I've been super skinny, buff as fuck, and overweight. I've also been shallow, popular, a geek, a misfit, an outcast, hated & envied. But nothing got me laid more (on & off camera) that being cocky, funny, non-threatening & blazing the "I don't give a fuck if you like me or not" ATTITUDE!!! FAT, FIT, SKINNY, OR IN-BETWEEN!!!

So, don't sign up to my program - jerking off to porn is only for the popular, buff, rich, good looking perfect people. None of your traffic will ever relate to a regular slice of over 60% of America guy like me fucking hot young cheerleader types - cause it never happens. OK There's only 1 captain of each football team... who are the rest of the cheerleaders fucking? The big strong fat fucking linebackers like you and me who can protect them in a dark alley cause I aint never been mugged in my life. And I jerk off to porn, you got a problem with that? Kiss my credit card... and see my fucking sig.