I apologize for the massive cut and post, but I just wanted everyone to understand where I've been and why I will be scarce for an unspecified period of time. If you need anything, please contact
[email protected] or
[email protected]
Sometime over the weekend, my son took his life while in Misawa Japan while serving in the Air Force. I don't know all the details but when I spoke to him Friday night he was very very drunk, homesick and all around depressed. I attempted to reach him all weekend with no response. I knew no one else to reach there on the weekend but many times his line was busy when I was calling so I am assuming others were also trying to reach him. When he didn't show up for work on Monday morning, they found him.
There are no words to express the devastation I feel and honestly no words of comfort will make it better. I have always said I have the best family, friends and support system anyone could ever wish for the they have been here for me either by coming to the house, via phone, email, running errands, bringing things, staying with me, or just holding me.
He's not home yet and right now there's no estimate. The AF is being very thoughtful and keeping me in contact every step of the way. The best guess is some time next week. We will have a family only honor guard ceremony and then a large memorial service within a week after that in the Atlanta area. I don't want to have it at a funeral home and there will be no casket. I want to celebrate his life, not his death.
Being a single mother with him an only child, he was my life and I will never be the same. I need to spend some time trying to figure out what I plan on doing with the rest of it.
Many of you met him and know what an incredible person he was. He was funny, smart and just the best person I've ever known. But he was clearly upset about things we'll never understand and self medicating with alcohol. I guess. I don't really know. I don't know if I ever will know.
I count many, many people in this industry as my good and dear friends and I only felt it fair to explain my silence and absence. I also thank the handful of people who kept my confidence until I was ready to make announcement.
Hold your children tight tonight. The last thing I told him was that I loved him. I can only hope and pray that he believed me.