couldn't agree with you more. those zend guys are irritating as hell.
for an IDE, i use vim-enhanced and do it right on the server. i come from a sys admin background so dev'ing with vi is where i'm at home, though I know many find it difficult. vim-enhanced has color coding support for php, shell, perl, etc.
here is some good news though
if you don't want to use zend optimizer or suite on your server, use mmcache. it has it's own encoding and also provides caching, so help speed things up and give your server a breather ;).
http://turck-mmcache.sourceforge.net/index_old.html
I use it on my servers and it works like a champ. It's free source, so getting a hosting company to plug it in is usually a piece of cake. They have even made it so it will play nice with Zend optimizer if the person needs both.
I work as a geek at a hosting company, there is no doubt for a server module, Zend Suite is amazing. The debug info alone can save you a lot of grief. But, if you don't want to pay $1k or more a year, MMCache is an awesome alternative. It's also faster according to benchmarks.