Just in case you missed today's FLASHCA$H Newsletter, I thought some people might get a kick out of my intro...
Next week is the Cybernext Expo in San Diego. You going?
When I was younger, I had a rather unfortunate ?incident? while on hallucinogens at the San Diego Zoo.
In addition to a gnarly case of the giggles, the drugs also gave me the ability to understand what each animal in the zoo was saying.
The reptiles were pretty boring for the most part. Lots of comments like, ?I sure like the heat lamp.? ?Me, too.?
And the monkeys spent most their time debating optimal masturbation techniques (and bragging about their opposable thumbs to the less-fortunate animals.)
But the tigers were the ones that got me in trouble.
They told me that they HATED being in a cage. At least, that is what I remember them saying. And apparently, they were quite convincing, because the police report says that I managed to free three of them. Two were re-captured quickly. But the third served as my trusty steed as I rode it towards the exit. She told me her name was Esmeralda, and we had glorious plans to start a new life together South of the border. Alas, the zookeepers (and their pesky tranquilizer guns) thwarted our plans. Once again The Man got in the way of a beautiful love story.
I still think of Esmeralda. Sometimes I even masturbate with a plush hand puppet and remember our special time together.
In any case, I look forward to seeing many of you at the show next week in San Diego! I?ll be the one in the Pink FLASHCA$H shirt, matching pink hair, and a sadness in my eyes over the loss of my sweet, fur-covered, Esmerelda.
(the rest of the email: http://www.pornposse.com/flashcash/toolkits/91.htm)
Next week is the Cybernext Expo in San Diego. You going?
When I was younger, I had a rather unfortunate ?incident? while on hallucinogens at the San Diego Zoo.
In addition to a gnarly case of the giggles, the drugs also gave me the ability to understand what each animal in the zoo was saying.
The reptiles were pretty boring for the most part. Lots of comments like, ?I sure like the heat lamp.? ?Me, too.?
And the monkeys spent most their time debating optimal masturbation techniques (and bragging about their opposable thumbs to the less-fortunate animals.)
But the tigers were the ones that got me in trouble.
They told me that they HATED being in a cage. At least, that is what I remember them saying. And apparently, they were quite convincing, because the police report says that I managed to free three of them. Two were re-captured quickly. But the third served as my trusty steed as I rode it towards the exit. She told me her name was Esmeralda, and we had glorious plans to start a new life together South of the border. Alas, the zookeepers (and their pesky tranquilizer guns) thwarted our plans. Once again The Man got in the way of a beautiful love story.
I still think of Esmeralda. Sometimes I even masturbate with a plush hand puppet and remember our special time together.
In any case, I look forward to seeing many of you at the show next week in San Diego! I?ll be the one in the Pink FLASHCA$H shirt, matching pink hair, and a sadness in my eyes over the loss of my sweet, fur-covered, Esmerelda.
(the rest of the email: http://www.pornposse.com/flashcash/toolkits/91.htm)
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