Americans were devastated this weekend to learn that their beloved Preznit Dubya had taken a tumble off his mountain bike, during the sixteenth mile of what an aide described as a grueling 17 mile trek. Luckily, the "Fit for Life" POTUS was able to save his own life - and the lives of his Secret Service escorts - by selflessly breaking the fall with his face. "He had minor abrasions and scratches on his chin, upper lip, nose, right hand and both knees." Unfortunately, the disfiguring mishap took place on the eve of Bush's hastily scheduled prime time speech, during which he has promised to delineate his plans for a smooth, transitional handover to Iraq's new government - which doesn't exist yet - on June 30th of this year.
This incident got yer old pal Jerky thinking about all the other spills Preznit Dubya has taken, so he decided to compile the following list of...
The TOP 13 OTHER THINGS that PREZNIT DUBYA
HAS FALLEN OFF OF!
13. a Segway.
12. a couch (the pretzel incident).
11. a mailbox.
10. a number of Tijuana prostitutes.
9. the pool table at Skull and Bones headquarters, Yale.
8. a wide assortment of livestock (pigs, mostly).
7. his own two feet.
6. the back of a speeding pickup truck.
5. the jukebox at "Senor Stinky's" in Houston.
4. his rocker.
3. a record high standing* in approval ratings.
2. Laura.
1. the wagon.
*purely illusory
This incident got yer old pal Jerky thinking about all the other spills Preznit Dubya has taken, so he decided to compile the following list of...
The TOP 13 OTHER THINGS that PREZNIT DUBYA
HAS FALLEN OFF OF!
13. a Segway.
12. a couch (the pretzel incident).
11. a mailbox.
10. a number of Tijuana prostitutes.
9. the pool table at Skull and Bones headquarters, Yale.
8. a wide assortment of livestock (pigs, mostly).
7. his own two feet.
6. the back of a speeding pickup truck.
5. the jukebox at "Senor Stinky's" in Houston.
4. his rocker.
3. a record high standing* in approval ratings.
2. Laura.
1. the wagon.
*purely illusory
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