19 Ways to maintain your insanity!

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  • ClamSmacker
    Confirmed User
    • May 2004
    • 677

    #1

    19 Ways to maintain your insanity!

    19 WAYS TO MAINTAIN YOUR INSANITY


    1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

    2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

    3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

    4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In".

    5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.

    6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Sexual Favours"

    7. Finish All Your Sentences With; "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

    8. Don't Use Any Punctuation.

    9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

    10. Ask People What Sex They Are. Laugh Hysterically After They Answer.

    11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

    12. Sing Along At The Opera.

    13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme

    14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.

    15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend their Party because You're Not In The Mood.

    16. Have Your Co-workers Address You by Your Wrestling Name, Rock-Hard.

    17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

    18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

    19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
  • Manowar
    jellyfish  
    • Dec 2003
    • 71528

    #2
    great

    Comment

    • kmanrox
      aka K-Man
      • Oct 2001
      • 29295

      #3
      outstanding!! mailed it to momz
      Crypto HODLr
      Crypto mining
      Angel investor

      Comment

      • JDog
        Confirmed User
        • Feb 2003
        • 7453

        #4
        18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

        19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
        The two best ones I'll say.

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        • tical
          Confirmed User
          • Feb 2002
          • 6504

          #5
          I've done the sexual favors one before
          112.020.756

          Comment

          • StRoGE
            Confirmed User
            • Mar 2004
            • 1713

            #6
            I love the zoo one!
            [URL=http://www.stupidcash.com/referral=sailorslut/][/URL

            Comment

            • abyss_al
              **LOOKING FOR TRADES**
              • Oct 2003
              • 15605

              #7
              Originally posted by ClamSmacker
              19 WAYS TO MAINTAIN YOUR INSANITY


              1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

              4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In".

              5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.

              7. Finish All Your Sentences With; "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

              9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

              10. Ask People What Sex They Are. Laugh Hysterically After They Answer.

              14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.

              19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
              EMAIL: allen @ vasmediagroup.com | ICQ: 311329761 | SKYPE: abyss.al | AIM: xABYSSxALx

              Comment

              • marcu5
                Confirmed User
                • Oct 2002
                • 1485

                #8
                Originally posted by ClamSmacker
                19 WAYS TO MAINTAIN YOUR INSANITY



                2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

                3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

                4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In".

                7. Finish All Your Sentences With; "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

                9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

                10. Ask People What Sex They Are. Laugh Hysterically After They Answer.

                15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend their Party because You're Not In The Mood.


                19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

                Comment

                • Michaelious
                  Confirmed User
                  • Jan 2004
                  • 6720

                  #9
                  old one but still a classic, very funny

                  Comment

                  • RicardoB
                    Confirmed User
                    • Jan 2004
                    • 2576

                    #10
                    Originally posted by ClamSmacker
                    19 WAYS TO MAINTAIN YOUR INSANITY


                    1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

                    2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

                    3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

                    4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In".

                    5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.

                    6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Sexual Favours"

                    7. Finish All Your Sentences With; "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

                    8. Don't Use Any Punctuation.

                    9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

                    10. Ask People What Sex They Are. Laugh Hysterically After They Answer.

                    11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

                    12. Sing Along At The Opera.

                    13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme

                    14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.

                    15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend their Party because You're Not In The Mood.

                    16. Have Your Co-workers Address You by Your Wrestling Name, Rock-Hard.

                    17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

                    18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

                    19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
                    fucking classic

                    Comment

                    • SmutGiant
                      Confirmed User
                      • Oct 2003
                      • 4896

                      #11
                      haha, I love it

                      Comment

                      • NaughtyAllie
                        Confirmed User
                        • Apr 2003
                        • 1844

                        #12
                        Originally posted by ClamSmacker
                        19 WAYS TO MAINTAIN YOUR INSANITY


                        1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

                        11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
                        1 and 11 are my favorites.

                        Comment

                        • Phoenix
                          BACON BACON BACON
                          • Nov 2002
                          • 35475

                          #13
                          haha nice...i like the zoo one best
                          Telegram PhoenixBrad
                          https://quantads.io

                          Comment

                          • Firehorse
                            Desire it and have it!!!
                            • Apr 2002
                            • 30767

                            #14
                            Thanks I needed a laugh!
                            MySweetEbony

                            Comment

                            • Za Ha
                              Confirmed User
                              • Oct 2001
                              • 5112

                              #15
                              I cant stop laughing!!! Especially the last one!

                              Comment

                              • count blingula
                                Confirmed User
                                • Oct 2003
                                • 961

                                #16
                                6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Sexual Favours"

                                if you arent promoting http://www.10dollarcash.com you are a fuckin moron

                                Comment

                                • freeadultcontent
                                  Confirmed User
                                  • Oct 2002
                                  • 9976

                                  #17
                                  5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.

                                  People are aware there is more caffeine in regular coffee than espresso right?

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                                  Comment

                                  • Malezia
                                    Confirmed User
                                    • Aug 2003
                                    • 354

                                    #18
                                    still get a chuckle out of it when I read it
                                    Promote my site www.malezia.com

                                    Free hosted movie and picture galleries.

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                                    • NakedBo
                                      Confirmed User
                                      • Jan 2004
                                      • 1614

                                      #19


                                      I will save this one for sure!

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