Maxim Jokes this month....

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  • stocktrader23
    Let's do some business.
    • Jan 2003
    • 18781
    #1

    Maxim Jokes this month....

    I'm playing a poker tourney and need something to do between hands. Couple of jokes from this months Maxim.




    Immediately after mass one Sunday morning, a man stops to shake the preacher's hand.
    "That was a goddamned fine sermon you gave today," the man tells the preacher. "Goddamned fine!"
    "Thank you sir," the preacher answers, "but I'd rather you didn't use that kind of foul, blasphemous language in the Lord's house."
    "You know, I was so goddamned impressed with that fucking sermon I put $5,000 in the goddamned offering plate!" says the man.
    "No shit?" says the preacher.


    Hands Free Adult - Join Once, Earn For Life

    "I try to make a habit of bouncing my eyes up to the face of a beautiful woman, and often repeat “not mine” in my head or even verbally. She’s not mine. God has her set aside. She’s not mine. She’s His little girl, and she needs me to fight for her by keeping my eyes where they should be."
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    • stocktrader23
      Let's do some business.
      • Jan 2003
      • 18781
      #2
      Just before an American wrestler takes on a Russian opponent, his coach warns him to avoid the Russky's unbeatable "pretzel" move.
      The match starts, and the Russian quickly gets the American doubled over in the pretzel. The coach can't beart to watch...then he looks up to see his wrestler pinning the Russian.
      "How'd you do it?" the coach asks after the match.
      "I saw this pair of balls in front of my face," the wrestler replies. "So I just bit them."
      "It wokred!" the coach exclaims.
      "No," says the wrestler. "But it's amazing how strong you get when your testicles get bitten."


      Hands Free Adult - Join Once, Earn For Life

      "I try to make a habit of bouncing my eyes up to the face of a beautiful woman, and often repeat “not mine” in my head or even verbally. She’s not mine. God has her set aside. She’s not mine. She’s His little girl, and she needs me to fight for her by keeping my eyes where they should be."

        Comment

        • EviLGuY
          So Fucking Banned
          • Apr 2003
          • 12745
          #3
          Originally posted by stocktrader23
          I'm playing a poker tourney and need something to do between hands. Couple of jokes from this months Maxim.




          Immediately after mass one Sunday morning, a man stops to shake the preacher's hand.
          "That was a goddamned fine sermon you gave today," the man tells the preacher. "Goddamned fine!"
          "Thank you sir," the preacher answers, "but I'd rather you didn't use that kind of foul, blasphemous language in the Lord's house."
          "You know, I was so goddamned impressed with that fucking sermon I put $5,000 in the goddamned offering plate!" says the man.
          "No shit?" says the preacher.
          Thats worth a chuckle.

            Comment

            • B40
              Confirmed User
              • Jul 2001
              • 7020
              #4
              Are you playing on Party Poker?

                Comment

                • NakedBo
                  Confirmed User
                  • Jan 2004
                  • 1614
                  #5

                    Comment

                    • stocktrader23
                      Let's do some business.
                      • Jan 2003
                      • 18781
                      #6
                      Originally posted by B40
                      Are you playing on Party Poker?
                      Yes. Only place I play atm.


                      Hands Free Adult - Join Once, Earn For Life

                      "I try to make a habit of bouncing my eyes up to the face of a beautiful woman, and often repeat “not mine” in my head or even verbally. She’s not mine. God has her set aside. She’s not mine. She’s His little girl, and she needs me to fight for her by keeping my eyes where they should be."

                        Comment

                        • Vitasoy
                          GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!!
                          • Oct 2003
                          • 58202
                          #7
                          lol heh thanks needed that.


                          [email protected]

                            Comment

                            • johnbosh
                              Confirmed User
                              • Aug 2002
                              • 8965
                              #8
                              nice ones

                                Comment

                                • BMI Lace
                                  Too lazy to set a custom title
                                  • Mar 2004
                                  • 16116
                                  #9
                                  wtf I just tried this partypoker bullshit and it tells me I have poker boat open...I dont even have poker boat fucking installed atm.
                                  Your Paysite Partner
                                  Strength In Numbers!
                                  StickyDollars | RadicalCash | KennysPennies | HomegrownCash

                                    Comment

                                    • B40
                                      Confirmed User
                                      • Jul 2001
                                      • 7020
                                      #10
                                      Originally posted by stocktrader23
                                      Yes. Only place I play atm.
                                      What's your nick? And what do you play? Just finished playing a few tournys there..

                                      You have ICQ?

                                        Comment

                                        • stocktrader23
                                          Let's do some business.
                                          • Jan 2003
                                          • 18781
                                          #11
                                          Originally posted by B40
                                          What's your nick? And what do you play? Just finished playing a few tournys there..

                                          You have ICQ?
                                          stocktrader

                                          In a shitty limit tourney right now. Play damn near every day on pretty much anything though.


                                          Hands Free Adult - Join Once, Earn For Life

                                          "I try to make a habit of bouncing my eyes up to the face of a beautiful woman, and often repeat “not mine” in my head or even verbally. She’s not mine. God has her set aside. She’s not mine. She’s His little girl, and she needs me to fight for her by keeping my eyes where they should be."

                                            Comment

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