Q: Why do blondes have two more brain cells than a cow? 
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Q: Why do blondes have two more brain cells than a cow?
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If a rotwieler starts humping your leg you let it finish. 
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I'd cross the hottest desert 
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A: So when you pull on their tits they don't shit on you. 
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You must have come from the shallow end of the gene pool. 
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Q: How much hair is in a girl's lap? 
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It was so cold 
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A: A box full. 
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the town flasher ran up and described himself.
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A man who's too drunk to follow orders.
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A: To teach women to walk on their hind legs.
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Two cows in a field. One says to the other 'What do you think about this mad cow desease?' The other one replies 'Blimey! a talking cow!' 
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one hardly used.
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A: Underweight. 
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How do you tell an old man? 
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A: Anorexic
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It isn't hard. 
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An old lady owned two monkeys. One day they both died
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so she took them to the taxodermist
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Q: Why did it take so long for Lorena Bobbitt to throw the dick out of the window? 
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A: She didn't have the balls.
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'So you want them mounted?' asked the taxidermist. To which she replied ; 'No. Holding hands will do just fine.' 
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Because it would look silly with six inches.
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Q: What's a 79 ? :D
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Anatomy is something everybody's got 
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Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
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but sure looks better on a woman.
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What do you call a woman who can suck golf balls through a hose? 
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A: 45 lbs. 
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Darling.
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Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
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Because they deserve them. 
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Why did the punk cross the road?
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How many men do you need for a mafia funeral? 
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Only one. To slam the car boot shut.
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A: 45 minutes.
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There were four 80 year old men playing golf. One complained the hills were to high. The second complained the bunkers were too deep. The third said the holes were too wide. The fourth one said 'Shut up! At least we're still on the right side of the grass!'
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Q: What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman?
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Broken promises don't upset me. I just think 'Why did they believe me?'
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A: Sexual harassment.
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Six stages of married life:1: Tri-weekly2: Try weekly3: Try weakly4. Try oysters5: Try anything6: Try to remember 
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Q: What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man? 
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A man took his wife to the doctors. After a short examination the doctor said 'Your wife's mind has completely gone!'. To which the man replied 'I'm not surprised. She's been giving a piece of it to me every day for the past 25 years!'
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The graduate with a science degree asks 'Why does it work?'
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A: $3.99 a minute.
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The graduate with an engenieering degree asks 'How does it do that?'
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The graduate with an accounting degree asks 'How much does it cost?'
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A: The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
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The graduate with the Arts degree asks 'Do you want fries with that?'
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Q: How can you tell if your husband is dead? 
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