ok well let me add this to the list of things I can't do
thank the lawd for the internet! cause now I know!!Now I can be safe!!
I can't drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I can't drink anything out of a can because I will get sick from the rat feces and urine.
I can't use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
I can't check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I can't use deodorants cause it causes cancer so i'm just gonna smell like a water buffalo on a hot day .
I can't go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I can't receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I can't shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops.
I can't answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.
I can't eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I can't date the opposite sex because they will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
and now you're telling me I can't use my damn microwave
