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If you do not have root, the server is not yours. If the server is not yours, you are sharing it. If you are sharing it, you're on a dedicated server shared between other users. You are not on a dedicated server, you're on a shared server. If you're on a virtual dedicated server (also known as VDS), you are technically sharing the server.
Yes it is fraustrating coz the server is the backbone of your sites. Your sites can be jacked anytime and still remain standing. Your server gets jacked, you are considered to be a disabled.
Get a managed server or have someone manage the server for you. Lots of good hosts here. Honestly, you can't do everything alone. Design is for design as for content is for content and server management is for server management. If you mix any of those in any one man, you're on a 50/50 scale.
Multi-tasking is good yes, it doesn't mean it's 100% effective.
EDIT: English is my 3rd language.
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I don't have a signature. !
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