Earn 40% !!!

50 sarcastic Lightspeeds

You're right...wires are better, but if my $33.67 is a minute late, I'll run to the boards and call you a scammer...mmm'kay?

It's a bitch to be rich Steve.

That's the funny part of having success in this biz.

Deal! Btw, if you do add a link to your site, can you make sure you use a bunch of complete lies about the member's area content? That always converts best!

I don't know about "rich" -- I WORK for a living like everyone else...

Steve, I don't think 60% is enough, can you bump our payout to 100%? I mean, we do send you traffic. Also, I think you should be picking up our hosting tab this month, we really pushed your sites hard and I wasn't happy with the above average conversion ratios.



(By above average I mean better than, not sucky)

Hey even after paying our hosting bill, enough was left over to buy me that M3!!

Thanks Lightspeed you guys rock!

Cameron

Pffffft!

You know you guys are banking of your webmaster's traffic, otherwise you would have stopped or closed your affiliate program.

o <- - - - - - - - - here's my point

here's you - - - - - - - - - - - > o

thats gold, jerry

gold

He's on a roll tonight!

LOL

anyway the guys at LS are doing good work, everyone needs to vent sometimes !

What a great thread!

:D

You need a raise !!

Funny stuff. Keep it coming Steve!

If http://toptrash actually stopped shavin then I couild buy my own shiney new lawnmower?

Teeheee... Steve you should have me do your customer support.. I guarantee the affiliates wouldn't be up your ass It's true though, you guys kick some big time ass... (I'd look cute in a jersey though! *wink*)

good thread. LMAO. You rock dude . So true in any biz that you are in.

By the way, for your 40%, you'll need to join the lawsuit against Acacia. If you settle, I'm gonna tear you up on the boards and recommend that everyone boycotts you.

so fucking right - but unfortunately too much words in a row for the most here to understand.

Lol!

To summarize

I'd like to find someone who will recruit hot new 18 year old girls that are willing to model nude, then pay her and take her pictures, then update her website regularly and host it on a super reliable, ultrafast server. Also, you'll need to buy lots of extra picture and video content so I won't lose a paying membership too soon.

I'd also like you to cover all the legal expenses, processing costs, and pay the visa registration fees.

I'd like you to provide hosted galleries, full page ads, banners, and maybe even agree to pay my hosting bill.

I'd like you to throw huge parties where I can drink myself silly, while I oggle your hot girls and generally make an ass of myself. I'm gonna need a rug to put out my cigarette on. I want you to take me to strip clubs, and I want you to buy me lapdances all night long.

I want you to do all that for no more than 40% of the net revenue that her site generates. I might even ask them to prepay me even if I can't get her site to convert. And you can pay me by check, but I tend to lose them, so you'll need to be willing to re-issue the ones I lose. But going to the bank is such a hassle, could I just have a wire instead? You'll need to eat the wire fees.

Oh yeah, and I forgot to mention that I'm going to accuse you of shaving and cheating if I can't convert any traffic at 1:500 or better. If you are a day late on my payment, I will publicly crucify you. And I'm gonna need a constant supply of new sites from you, I get tired of looking at one after a couple weeks.

And you better not take a day off, if I try to icq you and you are not there within a few minutes, I'm dropping my links! And no matter how few sales I send, I expect you to drop everything and talk to me as long as I want. I'll need lots of advice and support, you don't mind do you?

I want reward points and christmas cards are nice too. Don't forget I'll also need a non-expiring password to your sites too for "educational" purposes. When I promote your site, I want to be able to say anything to the surfer to make a sale, I don't care if its true or not, pleasing the surfer is your problem.

I'm gonna need a cool baseball jersey customized with my name and favorite number on the back...

And no matter what you do for me, I might just decide to try someone else's program for a while, cuz you are probably making too much money anyway on typeins and upsells...
And if you get someone else pushing your sites, I'm going to drop you completely, because then you'll be "over saturated".

Oh yeah, and you are gonna need lots of sites, and I want to be paid on sales to all of them from your exits. Better yet, I'll require no-console linking codes, cuz I hate popups. But don't even think about paying me less for my joins.

You'll need to join the lawsuit against Acacia, I don't care how much it costs. But if you settle, I'll tear you apart on the boards and recommend that everyone boycotts you.

And I want to lump you in with all the scammers and scumballs that have ever made money on the net. I don't care if you are honest, I have to blame someone for a bad week, and its gonna be you.

Oh yeah, and for your 40%, I want to be able to break my promises anytime, I really don't want you to be able to rely on me. I'll send you traffic when I fucking feel like it. But if you break one of YOUR promises to me, I'll drop you and move on.

Any takers?

That's a great business plan for starting a successful partner program.

Steve, have you considered stand up comedy?

You'd probably make more money and you can tell the hecklers to fuck their hats.

Excellent thread

I miss seeing Steve's threads....

Hahahhaha I'm with you Steve!

Nice bumpo!!!

very hilarious and too true Steve!

Damn dude sounds like you need a break.

Steve making a comeback?

he's taken a nice long break from this board but even now his threads get bumped

Classic thread!

This made me smile.